By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

We often ask children, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” As an adult thinking about your future, it’s time to ask yourself, “What do I want to be next?” Whether you are lookinh got your first professional role, in a post-layoff career transition, or you're employed and contemplating your future, it's always a good time to think about what you want from your professional life going forward.

As a job seeker who is unhappy with their current situation, I understand the tendency to feel like you are in no position to be picky. However, when I talk with job searchers having difficulty landing a new role, not having a focus for their job search actually slows their progress considerably.

​Most of the time, employers are less likely to hire someone who wants what I would call “any old job.” Most companies would rather hire a person who genuinely wants to do a specific type of work, has the necessary skills, and is targeting an identified role. One of the best things you can do for the success of your job search is to figure out what you really want to do, then use your resume and LinkedIn profile to promote yourself as a match for your desired role. 

When you're not currently employed and nervous about your future, it's natural to think, “I need a job as quickly as possible.”  or to skip thinking altogether and seek out exactly the same job you had before. It’s not that you can’t seek the same type of work—because you can. Just make sure to reconfirm with yourself that you are going toward a role you want. Here are ideas for how to go about that process. ​

A good starting point is thinking about what really matters to you in life and how you express those values. 

Personally, I also find that it's challenging to think of the right words to articulate those high-level ideas that matter to you.  I discovered the think2perform Online Values Exercise at a previous job when I was designing a retirement planning seminar. Since thinking about your money (or your work, for that matter) starts with what you care about on a larger scale, this is a great starting point. Personally, I take this assessment on at least an annual basis because the process helps me revisit my values in general and helps me more thoughtfully talk about what I do and why I do it.

The assessment itself includes 51 named value cards and 4 rounds of reviewing the cards. The total time to complete this activity is about 15 minutes, and perhaps more, depending on how much contemplation you do during the process. You also have the option to add your own values as needed. In the end, you'll have 5 value cards with descriptions that name and describe key areas that matter to you. 

After you identify your top 5 values, think about how you live those values in your life and how you would like to express those values in your work. Use these as your guideposts as you move on to the next steps. ​

The CliftonStrengths Assessment (previously known as Clifton StrengthsFinder) is a wonderful tool for identifying what you are good at, how that manifests, and how your version of each strength shows up. It not only helps you identify your top strengths but also gives you language to talk about skills you didn't even realize everyone else didn't have.

To access this assessment, you can purchase the StrengthsFinder 2.0 Book (which includes a code for the new CliftonStrengths Online Assessment) or you can directly pay for and access the CliftonStrengths Top 5 Assessment on Gallup.com. Either option should cost around $25 for the basic assessment and results, with the option to purchase additional assessments or training based on your level of interest. 
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The 30-minute online assessment includes 177 questions including paired statements. On a scale you select which of the statements is more like you. From there, you'll receive a report identifying your top five strengths along with a more detailed description of how those strengths are exhibited in how you interact with the world. Reading a report about yourself (one that is freakishly accurate, by the way) is downright life changing.

After taking the assessment, you'll be able to see your unique talents and have language to explain how what you do sets you apart from others. Having a way to put your abilities into words can translate directly into your resume, and how you talk about who you are and what you bring to the table.

Think about your previous jobs and life experiences and reflect on what you liked and didn't like. As yourself the following questions and write down your answers:
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• What field or fields would you like to work in?
• What job titles might be a good fit for you?
• Are you interested in a full time, part time, contract, or freelance job?
• How many hours do you want to work a week?
• What size of company or industry would you like to work for?
• Would you like a manager role, individual contributor role, or player/coach role (doing both)?
• What work hours and schedule would you prefer?
• What salary would you like?
• How much time off would you like?
• Would you like to work in-person, part in-person and part remotely (hybrid), or all remote?
• How many miles/lengths of time would you be comfortable commuting? How often would you want to commute?
• Would you like to travel for work? If so, how often over what period of time? Driving or flying travel? What travel percentage is ideal for you?
• What benefits are important to you? What would be nice to have?
• What focus area(s) would you like to have?
• What skills would you like to be able to use on a regular basis?
• What day-to-day activities would you like to do?
• What do you want the role of your work to be in your life?
• What is on your “oh hell no” list?

One helpful way to find out more about possible career options is to talk to people who are currently in those roles.  By reaching out to individuals in your professional network and asking them to put you in touch with people they know who could help, you can make new connections and find out more. This will help you start to bridge the distance between your skills, and possible job titles and companies that might be a good fit for you. 

By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

​One of the hardest things about being laid off is telling other people about it--specifically fielding their uninvited questions. I'm not talking about work people or your professional network, either. I'm talking about the family friend you run into at the grocery store, that parent you went to a PTA meeting with once, seldom-seen relatives at a holiday gathering, and the neighbor you pass by only occaisionally. Worse yet, it is interacting with a group of well-intentioned people who express their curiosity, worry, and opinions regarding your wellbeing. 

Here are a few suggested talking points for managing those conversations that pop up at just the wrong time.

After you've chatted with your inner circle, it’s time to think about addressing this topic with everyone else. This includes people who make random comments about your situation, those who don't really know how layoffs work, and the ones who genuinely want to help but may not have the best advice. These conversations may be rough, especially if you feel vulnerable. Your goal may be to get through the awkwardness and move on to other topics.  

To prepare, it is helpful to know how to respond. Here are a few suggestions for talking points to get you through. 

The question: I heard you’re unemployed. What happened there!

Your core message: My job ended. It is a thing that happened. 

• I was part of a company-wide reduction in force at ABC Lending. My job ended on Tuesday.
• I was part of a layoff. About 500 of us were part of the reduction in force when the company restructured. That happened earlier this week.
• I was one of the 1000 people who had their position eliminated at XYZ company. It happened earlier this month.
• I got laid off. It happened a bit ago.
• My job ended recently, along with about a hundred others at the company.

The question: What are you going to do now? I would be freaking out! 
Or
​I’d be scared to death if I were you. Are you sure you’ll be okay?
Or 
​A person I sort of know lost their house/was unemployed for years/had to take a pay cut/never worked again.
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Your core message: I’m going to keep on keeping on and also look for a new job.​

• ​I’ve had some time to think about it, and I know my next steps.
• I’ve made friends with the change, and I’m working towards my next role.
• I am worried, but I know I’ll be okay. I have a plan.
• It can be stressful, but I’m going to do the right things, and it will work out.
  
• I’m making a plan for what to do next.

The question: So--do you have a job yet? 
Or
Are you STILL unemployed?
Or 
Did that thing you were interviewing for work out?
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Your core message: I am job searching and something will work out. 

• I'm talking to a few companies, and I'm sure something will work out soon.
• No, but I'm hopeful.
• I’m working on my next steps.
• Finding a job can take a while. I’m making progress toward something new. 

The question/comment: Don’t worry. It’ll be fine. Hang in there! You’re so talented!

​Your response: Thanks. 

The comments:

• You should just get a job as a bus driver/multi-level marketing scheme salesperson/sign spinner!
• You should hold out for a better job than you’ve ever had where you get all the vacation/all the money/are the ruler of the free world!
• You should go back to school/start your own consulting company/have a baby/adopt many cats/quit working altogether.
• You should downsize your house/sell your car/auction your jewelry/maybe get a yurt/live in a box outside your mom’s house.

Your core message: I appreciate you. I will make the right decision for me.

• Thank you for your suggestions. I’m figuring out what is right for me.
• I definitely have options. I'm figuring out my next steps.
• Thank you for your insights. I have a plan for what to do.

Whether due to an economic downturn, an acquisition, or a company reorganization, layoffs happen all the time. Each person will experience a range of emotions when it happens to them. Even for someone who has gone through a layoff before, it is a tumultuous experience each and every time. Here is the good, the bad, and the ugly of the feelings people often experience surrounding an unplanned job loss.  

The phone call from HR, the perp walk through the office to the dreaded conference room, the last-minute ominous meeting invite, or the oddly timed tap on the shoulder all seem to come out of nowhere. There is something surreal about being pulled into a virtual or in-person room and having someone look you dead in the eye and tell you that you are going to go through a significant life change starting, well, now.
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Even if there were layoff rumors, news about leadership changes, or low sales reported for the quarter, it’s always a surprise on the date and time when layoffs go down. It’s the feeling of the ground being pulled out from under you. It’s the gap between expecting a full day of meetings and finding yourself in your car mid-morning with a white box.

Even if you were actively looking for a new role, a certain amount of anger goes along with a layoff. It could be frustrating learning about the people who didn’t get laid off (like that guy whose messes you've been cleaning up for the last year) and comparing your perceived value to theirs.

It could be irritation at the timing (right after vacation, right before a holiday) and how that makes finding something new an even longer process. It might be the insult to injury when you realize that yesterday’s mission-critical work-all-night project has become irrelevant. In many cases, it might just be the maddening nature of someone else deciding when you don't get to do that job anymore instead of you getting to choose when it was time. Feeling that lack of control can be the most challenging part.

Exiting a job abruptly leaves a big hole in your life, starting with a 9+ hour workday being replaced with dead air and uncertainty. People who earlier that day were coworkers, casual work friendships, or confidants now may be nothing at all now that you no longer share an employer.  

​The consistency of a morning routine, daily commute, and regularly scheduled meetings are replaced with a battle with the unknown that may last a week or a year. Sometimes, it’s easy to be hopeful about the future, and other times, it’s hard not to be mired in sadness about all the things you can’t control.

There is plenty to be afraid of. First, the idea of not having a paycheck is horrifying. Not knowing how long your severance check has to last is unnerving. Not having any idea how long your jobless period will last and what job you’ll end up with is sometimes unbearable.

​You may fear being unemployed endlessly and not being able to support yourself. You might worry about panicking and taking the first job offered to you. You could worry about holding out for something closer to the “perfect” job that may never come. You may even fear you will never get a job as good as the one you just had. On the worst days, when fear has given way to full-on catastrophizing, you could worry that you will lose your house, car, professional reputation, and everyone you've ever loved.

Here's the one that might seem unexpected. If you've been at a company and "made it" through multiple rounds of layoffs, you may be waiting for your luck to run out.  While you're certainly relieved to still be employed, each time you hear rumblings about reorganizations or start seeing those empty white dots pop up on Microsoft Teams, you may have had that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach waiting for it to be your turn.

The strange benefit of finally being laid off is that you don't have to worry if it will happen (and when) because it just happened. At that moment, you also realize it's not as bad as you imagined, and now what there is to do is pick yourself up and create your fantastic new future. 

Through the tumult of emotions, it’s important to acknowledge each one and process those feelings. From there, you can think about what is next for you and focuson your next steps toward the next right job for you. 

There are several days each year when people typically look back and assess their lives. This could be the anniversary of a death, a holiday full of memories, or your birthday. For me, the day I reflect is Groundhog Day.

That weekend, I was on a road trip to visit some of my high school friends for a fun weekend of reminiscing and going to the Snowflake Ski Jump. On my way there, a local cop pulled me over for speeding. As I sat there, I glanced at the notification I’d just received from unemployment sitting in my passenger seat—the one that said I’d receive less money than the last time I’d been laid off—meaning I wouldn’t be bringing enough money in to cover my half of the mortgage. As the officer approached my window, I could feel the tears well up. I could not get a ticket, too. I would cry (as I often heard people threaten to do), but this was no empty threat that would come to bear only through theatrics. I was legit going to fall apart if this happened.
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This moment—sitting in the car with indications of my life failures greatest hits smacking me in the face was a low point in my life—rivaled only by my dad’s unexpected death when I was still in high school.​

Fortunately, I think because of my street cred, which included being a native of a town nearby, I drove away ticket free. One thing had gone okay. Then I saw friends, connected with new people, and spent more time with my daughter. I also had the time and space to figure out what to do with myself now.