By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

Right after a layoff, people often act hastily out of sheer unbridled panic. Instead, you must attend to two key tasks right away: feeling your feelings and choosing your career transition mindset. Getting your head on straight before springing into action will prepare you for the challenges ahead.

Most people work to pay their bills and afford the life they want. Unfortunately, when your job ends, so does your main income stream—and possibly your health insurance, too. Making the right short-term changes can help you weather the storm while also minimizing long-term financial repercussions. 

Few people take the time to step back from their work life and think, “Is this really what I want to do?” When you go through an unplanned job change, seize this rare opportunity to revisit your career path.  Take time for a little structured soul searching and actively decide what you want both long-term and in your next job. 

Finding a new job is all about you telling the story of your career. You get to shape your professional narrative so you can share your compelling story with colleagues and potential employers. Learning to talk about where you’ve been, your skillset, and where you’re going is powerful. Weaving in company needs with who you are professionally will help you communicate your value more effectively.

​It’s hard for many of us to ask for help. If there was ever a time to avoid going it alone, this is it. Overall, people genuinely want to help others through trying times. You can assist them by being mindful of what you need and asking just the right person. Letting people help you will make managing the emotional, logistical, and practical aspects of this career transition easier. 

When it comes to achieving a goal, people often focus on time management. While checking the right items off a task list is valuable, having the energy to do so is often overlooked. Figuring out those right things to do, prioritizing tasks, and factoring in your energy levels will help you sustain your job search momentum for the long haul. 

Having a plan for success is critical.  It is even better to assess how it is going, adapt when needed, and rise above challenges. By anticipating roadblocks and thinking through possible solutions, you can proactively alter your game plan as needed. Learning as you go will help you build resilience and cultivate successful outcomes.

For all the information on each of the seven lessons pick up a copy of my book  Seven Lessons From Seven Layoffs: A Guide. 

By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

Whether you’re considering making a career change, are currently in the midst of a job transition, or want to be more effective in your role, increasing your self-knowledge is a great place to start. It's hard to figure out what kind of work will be the best fit for you if you're not clear on who you are, the life you want, and the role work plays in that equation.  

In other articles here on The Layoff Lady, I’ve outlined ideas for exploring your values and discovering your strengths. Knowing more about what you truly value and what you are good at will help you think about the why, what, and how of the type of work you are driven to do. Reflecting on your findings will also help you have better conversations about your skillset and what motivates you personally and professionally.

 It’s incredible how our strengths and values also show up when we are in challenging situations—often in good ways, but sometimes in more destructive ways. Learning about how you can get in your own way is a valuable strategy for making better decisions when you’re mid-crisis.

Enter Shirzad Chamine. He is a professor, professional coach, and the author of the best-selling book Positive Intelligence. He introduces strategies for how to be mindful of what we know (IQ) our overall emotional intelligence (EQ), and how to leverage our positive intelligence (abbreviated as  PQ). The end result is learning to be more effective and increase our overall.

Here arer the nine saboteurs outlind in Positive Intelligence listed in alphabetical order along with my brief description of each:
​

1. Avoider: Nope. Not dealing with it. Hey—look over there!
2. Controller: I’m scared and taking charge! I’m impatience and I will run over everyone else to fix this.
3. Hyper-achiever: I will work day and night with no breaks to finish all the things by myself.
4. Hyper-rational: I’m going to logic my way out of this no matter whose stupid feelings get hurt.
5. Hyper-vigilant: I’m fighting any and all possible catastrophes non-stop. Sleep is for the weak.
6. Pleaser: I’ll make these people like me even if I make myself sick doing it.
7. Restless: That other thing looks cool. And that one. And that one. So many shiny things!
8. Stickler: I’m going to get this all exactly right to the letter if it takes me all night and day.
9. Victim: Fix my problems because I can’t (or won’t). I’ll be over her brooding and suffering.

Yikes. We're certanly not our best selves when we show up this way. Let's look at how you can identify your saboteurs and use that information to improve how you show up.

Set aside time to take the 9 Ways We Self Sabatoge Assessment from Positive Intelligence. The assessment takes 5-10 minutes to complete. In addition, I suggest giving yourself 30-45 minutes to review your results and reflect. 

This assessment consists of 45 questions. Each question includes of a statement, and you'll rate your agreement with that statement on a 5-point scale ranging from strongly agree to strongly disagree. The directions encourage you to answer each question relatively quickly and go with your initial response. 

The final 7 questions are about demographics and finding out where they will send your assessment results. 

The results you receive include a ranking of your top sabateurs and your score for each. In addition, you will receive the following information about each of your saboteurs:
​

• Basic Description
• Characteristics
• Thoughts
• Feelings
• Justification Lies
• Impact On Self and Others
• Original Survival Function

I find these types of assessments fascinating. As someone who is committed to ongoing professional development, I appreciate getting insights that might be hard for someone else to share. These insights are valuable, and also help me understand why I do what I’m doing as well as helping me to recognize those non-helpful patterns so I can adjust my approach going forward.

Not at all surprising to me, my top three saboteurs are as follows:

1. Controller, 8.1
2. Hyper-Achiever, 7.5
3. Restless, 5.6

Here were my initial thoughts as I saw my top three identified saboteurs: 
​

• Controller: In other assessments, Bold and Driver have been my identified characteristics. I'm someone who tends to keep things to the point, hold people accountable, and help move projects forward. Consequently, under stress, that tendency to lead a project may become overly tight-fisted control. Not good.

​

• Hyper-Achiever: Achiever is on my top CliftonStrengths, so it makes sense that I may have a tendency to overfocus on that strenght and work to personally achieve my way out of a situation. 

​

• Restless: I'm always excited about learning new things, and my brain is always going a million miles an hour. On the flip side, this means I sometimes take on too many new things or even interrupt myself mid-flow to work on something else because of an idea I can not clearly articulate yet. ​

Under Controller, here are a few statements resonated with me from the details included  within my report:
​

• Characteristic: “Comes alive when doing the impossible and beating the odds.” Most definitely. I am SO the person who digs being able to solve the unsolvable problem. Never tell me the odds!

 

• Thought: “If I work hard enough I can and should control the situation so it goes my way.” Whereas some people need to be motivated to do more to solve a problem, I needed to learn when to stop and either let someone else jump in or realize it might not be readily fixable. I appreciated the reminder.

 

• Feeling: “Angry and intimidating when others don’t follow.” In my area of expertise, I get pushy and controlling when we’re up against the wire and something needs to get resolved. Earlier career, I never realized that my determination and confidence in getting something done was perceived as intimidating. However, after learning that a bunch of my daughter’s friends were scared to death of me when they were little, I realized I need to be mindful of how my determination comes off to others.  

By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

Beginnings and endings often make us think. When relationships, jobs, or projects end, we often reflect on recent events and our desired future state. Likewise, as we prepare to begin a new month, season, or year, we often set goals.

Many times, we set big amorphous goals athat end up going nowhere fast. "Eat better," "get a better job," and "build my professional network" all sound fine, until you look back months later and realize that nothing much has changed. Sometimes we even write more specific goals like "eat a vegetable at every meal" or "make one new LinkedIn connection per week"--and even then they fall flat. Why is that?

Turns out, it’s perhaps even more important to figure out what matters to you and why.  This often skipped step is how we discover a deeper seated motivation, which can help us to actually make those goals into action and new habits.  

When you’re setting personal goals, and you want to make sure they stick, identifying your values is a great place to start.

When thinking about the life you want to live, it's essential to start with what is truly important to you. Identifying those guiding principles will help you decide how you budget your money, how you want to spend your time, and what type of work is right for you.

​Finding the words to express your values can help you live in alignment and increase your overall wellbeing—as well as give you the much-needed motivation to progress towards goals that support your values. 

I find it challenging to think of the right words to articulate what I value. While there are many lists online you can use as a starting point, I prefer using the think2perform Online Values Exercise.

This free online assessment includes 51 named value cards and four rounds of reviewing the cards. The total time to complete this activity is about 15 minutes, and perhaps more depending on how much contemplation time you need. In the end, you'll have five value cards that name and start to describe key areas that matter to you. 
​
Recently, when I retook the values assessment, I identified these as my top 5 values:

After you identify your top five values, think about how you live those values in your everyday life and even how they play out in your career. As I took the assessment this time, I found that I liked some of the value names, like autonomy and helping others, as well as parts of the value descriptions from other cards. ​I realized how important it was for me to personalize my values to make them truly my own.

Fine Tuning Value Names

For one, I work in the field of Learning and Development, and previous job titles I have had included the word “training” in the title. For me, the idea of education resonated with me, but the word "education" was not quite right.

When I thought more about what matters to me, I landed on the word "learning." For me, "education" has the connotation that I need to take a class in order to learn. I'm a firm believer that learning comes from all directions all the time.

Fine Tuning Value Descriptions

I also took more time personalizing the descriptions. While I chose the word "relationships" to label one of my values, I incorporated details from descriptions for related terms like "family" and "community." I also included details that help inform how specifically I want to be sure to live those values. I included one line about different types of individual and groups, and what might bring us together, including this line: "Seeking out groups and individuals that align with my priorities, preferences, and interests." 

While I kept the word "health" as the value that mattered to me, I decided to update the standard description of “placing importance on physical and emotional wellbeing.” Instead, I thought about what health means to me and how I can live that value. My description for health included these details: "Leveraging habits and routines that maximize my energy and support my overall wellbeing. Prioritizing my physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing by focusing on nutrition, movement, and self-care. Honoring my need for social and alone time.”

I have completed this values exercise multiple times, and I find it comforting that the tend to be relatively stable, but always evolve as I do. I notice that my results change a bit depending on what personal challenges I've faced since my last assessment.

The words that have remained in my top five consistently over time are autonomy, relationships, and health. When life has felt unpredictable, words like stability, security, and safety have moved up. Similarly, since work is such an important part of my life, there are always words directly related to what I do for a living. In this case, learning and helping others round out my top five, and represent not only my work, but my general approach to the world. 

Do you take time to think about and name your personal values? How do you go about that process? Share your thoughts in the comments.