By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

One of the benefits of having connections on LinkedIn is that you can directly send them messages without having a paid subscription. However, this feature has also been used poorly on several occasions. Let's look at how to use LinkedIn messaging effectively to continue building professional relationships and provide some guidelines for how to use this feature well. 

To have a valuable professional newtork, make sure those relationships are mutually beneficial. Networking is about give and take. Make sure that you are adding value along the way. This includes sharing useful content, congratulating people on their accomplishments, and answering one-off questions when people ask for advice. In short, be a good LinkedIn neighbor. If you give more than you take, your LinkedIn connections will be more likely to help you when you need it.

When directly contacting your LinkedIn connections, make sure you are not overfocused on asking for favors. It is important to provide value first. Here are a few types of messages that give more than they take:

• Wishing them a happy holiday
• Congratulating them on a promotion, job, degree, personal milestone, or accomplishment
• Thanking them for sharing useful content that helped you personally
• Thanking them for helping people in general
• Checking on them to see how they are
• ​Telling them it was nice seeing them at an in-person or online event
• Following up on a previous topic of conversation
• Offering help on one of your areas of expertise
• Sharing a resource, article, or piece of information that would benefit them

Make sure you are not THAT PERSON who only reaches out when they need a favor. 

Asking for help is an art. First, you need to be willing to ask for help. Next, you need to craft your ask in a way that you have a higher likelihood of getting that help.
Here are a few significant issues I’ve seen from people attempting to ask for job search help:

• Connect and pitch
• Making a big ask early on
• Making a vague ask
• Making an ask that is disproportionate to how well you know someone
• Making frequent asks
• Being aggressive in asks
• Re-asking too many times
• Not being able to hear no
• Being angry if they don’t get what they want

Here are a three questions that may not get you much of a response:

1. Can you get me a job at your company?
2. Can you introduce me to people?
3. If you hear of any openings, let me know.

​Why are these not good asks?  For one, these are big requests that require a lot of effort to do well. For example:

1. I’m not going to magically get you a job at my company. Being hired isn't quite as simple as that. 
2. I’m also not going to go through my list of professional contacts, prioritize who I think you should meet, and facilitate multiple introductions.
3. I will also not be your personal job searcher and send you roles—partly because there is no guarantee that my assumptions based on our past experience working together will align with your current job search goals. ​ ​

Here are a few better asks, but may only work with connections who you know very well and who you have helped in the past:
​

• Would you review my resume?
• Would you review my LinkedIn profile?
• Would you refer me for a position at your company?
• Would you pass my resume on to your connection, the hiring manager?
• Would you meet with me for 30 minutes to discuss [a professional topic]?

​These requests are specific, which is better, but each is still a sizeable request. The first two may be time intensive. The next two involve your connection putting their reputation on the line to recommend you for a role. The final one requires a block of time on your connection's calendar. Depending on our interactions prior to these requests, their response may vary from “of course!” to no response at all. 

Again, remember to make sure your asks are aligned with how well you know one another. 

Asks are better when they are more specific and less time intensive. It’s also helpful if there is context. Here are a few asks that are more likely to get responses. The requests earlier in this list are more likely to get a response.
​

• I just made a job search post on LinkedIn. Would you be willing to visit the post [link here] and like, comment on, or share this post to help me boost my signal?
• I’m considering applying for the Associate Project Manager position with Super Cool Company. How do you like working there? Would you recommend it as a workplace?
• I am working on a career transition from being a software trainer to a project manager. What do you like about your current role as a project manager? What skills would help me in that role?
• I am working on a career transition from being a software trainer to a project manager. I see you’re connected to Alonzo Johnson, a project manager with Super Cool Company. Would you be willing to facilitate an introduction between us on LinkedIn?
• I’m considering applying for the Associate Project Manager position with Super Cool Company. As I get my application materials together, I’d appreciate your insights on the company and how to position myself for success. Would you be willing to have a 15-minute phone call sometime over the next week to talk?
• I’m considering applying for the Associate Project Manager position with Super Cool Company. As I get my application materials together, I’d appreciate your insights on the company and how to position myself for success. Would you be willing to have a 30-minute virtual coffee zoom meeting sometime over the next week?
• I’m considering applying for the Associate Project Manager position with Super Cool Company. As I get my application materials together, I’d appreciate your insights on the company and how to position myself for success. Would you be willing to meet for a coffee at the local coffee shop of your choosing? The first cup is on me!

Remember, when you are asking for help, people will tell you no. More likely than telling you a direct no, they may just not respond. Ever. Keep in mind that job searching, like sales, means that you're going to hear a whole lot of no on the way to that one yes you need. When you need a specific thing, it's useful to ask multiple people for help to give you a better chance of getting a response. It's also not personal. We're each on LinkedIn using it to varying degrees and all trying to accomplish our own goals. 

Making sure that you are making the relationships mutually beneficial will make it much more likely that people will respond to you and want to lend you a hand when you need it. 

It’s amazing how much of the job search process involves waiting to hear back and trying to communicate with the hiring team in a way that adds value. One easy way to strengthen your relationship with the hiring team is by sending a thank you note.  While you could send a paper thank you note, I usually opt for a thank you email message given the prevalence of virtual interactions. 

During the interview process, your main goal is to position yourself as someone who would be an excellent direct report to the hiring manager and an awesome team member for your future coworkers. One easy way to be more likable is to be grateful and appreciative of people and their time. Sending a thank you email is a great way to do just that.

Sending a thank you message is another chance for your interviewers to see your name and have a positive experience with you. Who doesn’t like to be thanked for doing a thing? 

Here are key details to include in your post-interview thank you message:

• Their first name
• Names of other people in your interview
• That you are still interested in the role
• The position for which you applied and when you interviewed
• Your contact information

Here’s the core content to include in a thank you message:

In addition to the basic message, without writing a full-on manifesto, take the time to add a little more relevant information. This is an excellent opportunity to add more details and value to the interaction. This will also help make you more memorable. Here are a few suggested points to cover:

• Include something you discussed during the conversation or detail they mentioned about themselves or the role.
• Send a separate thank you email to each of your interviewers. Add details specific to each person.
• Include a list of skills you bring to the table.
• Include work samples or follow up on any questions they had during your interview.
• Share a resource to follow up on a topic you discussed.

Here's what the message to the hiring manager might look like:

Hi, Peter.

Thanks so much for meeting with me earlier this week to discuss the Super Cool Support Manager position with Best Company Ever. It was great talking with you, Paul, and Mary about the support team and this opportunity. Learning about your new knowledge base and help desk ticket prioritization model was great. I’m excited to join an organization committed to documentation and continuous process improvement.

As we discussed, here are a few relevant skills I bring to the table:

• Technical writing and setting up knowledge base categories and hierarchies
• Implementing informal mentoring programs 
• Leveraging projects as developmental opportunities for call center staff
• A methodology for keeping KB articles current

In addition, here is the link to the article I mentioned entitled “18 Knowledge Base Examples That Get It Right." ​Chapter 9 in this article covers some of the metrics we were discussing:

https://www.helpscout.com/helpu/knowledge-base-examples/

If you have additional questions, please feel free to contact me via email at [email protected] or by text/phone at 555-555-5555.

It was great getting a chance to talk with you—and I hope you have a great time on your fly-fishing trip this weekend!
​
--Brenda

Here's what a message to one of your future coworkers, Mary, might look like:

Hi, Mary.

It was great meeting you earlier this week to discuss the Super Cool Support Manager position with Best Company Ever. I enjoyed talking with you, Paul, and Peter about the support team and this opportunity. My experience working at Not Quite As Cool Company will help me add value to the team.
 
I also hope you have fun on your upcoming trip to Minneapolis. As a fellow coffee lover, I suggest you stop at Dogwood Coffee Company. It’s honestly the best cup of coffee I’ve ever had and well worth the trip. It sounds like you’ll be staying not too far from their Northeast location. Here is the address:

https://www.dogwoodcoffee.com/pages/locations
 
If you have additional questions for me (professional or coffee related), feel free to contact me via email at [email protected] or via text/phone at 555-555-5555.
 
Thanks again!

--Brenda

I used to quickly send thank you messages right after I completed an interview. That way, the message would arrive in each person's inbox within a half hour after our conversation.

​Now, I wait until the next day, or even two days, to send the thank you. This puts time between our initial conversation and when they get this "remember me--I exist, and I'm awesome" message. Much like commercials, ads, or billboards remind you of the existence of a product or service you might want, I used my thank you messages as a second touchpoint with that person. 

When thinking about the life you want to live, it's essential to start with what is truly important to you. Identifying those guiding principles will help you make decisions about how you budget your money, which people you will surround yourself with, and what type of work is right for you. Finding the words to express your values can help you live in alignment and increase your overall wellbeing. Let's look at where you can start.

In the abstract, it can be hard to figure out what really matters to you. It's even harder trying to convert your thoughts and feelings into words that can help you express what is meaningful to you. Fortunately, there is a tool you can use as a starting point to help you find the right words. 

At a previous job, when designing a retirement planning seminar, I discovered the think2perform Online Values Exercise. I take this assessment on at least an annual basis. Even though the words that resonate with me stay very similar over time, the process helps me revisit what matters to me most at that point in time.

The assessment includes 51 value cards and four rounds of reviewing the cards. The total time to complete this activity is about 15 minutes or more, depending on how much contemplation you do. In the end, you'll have five value cards remaining with descriptions that name and describe key areas that matter to you.

I have completed this values exercise multiple times. My results vary depending on what is happening in the rest of my life right then. The words that have remained in my top five consistently over time are autonomy, relationships, and health.

When lilfe has felt unpredictable, words like stability, security, and safety have moved up. Similarly, since work is such an important part of my life, there is always a word directly related to what I do for a living. In the past, terms like work, education, or helping others indicated what work meant to me at that time. 

In the final phase of the values activity, I thought very hard about which words were the best guiding principles for me. Here are the values that resonated with me this time around.
​

• Happiness is defined as feelings of contentment, satisfaction, or fulfillment. After a few challenge-filled years, now I'm creating my new normal. I appreciate what I have and feel good about my progress. I appreciate things others might consider simple, from alone time to quiet yoga, writing, and a good cup of coffee.  
• Autonomy is defined as freedom, independence, and individual discretion. Autonomy is about options and my ability to choose my path. It’s as simple as picking which day I want to go to an exercise class, deciding how to spend my free time, and which project to work on when. I enjoy being in a place in life where I’m less overscheduled and more empowered to direct my time.
• Meaningful work is defined as doing work that has purpose and significance. My work is not just my paid work for a company helping promote learning and development. In addition, it's everything I do for The Layoff Lady. During my last career transition, I feel like I reclaimed what work is for me. Now, my meaningful work includes writing this article on values, thinking about what I'll talk about on an upcoming podcast, and outlining a book on career resilience. I love doing work that leverages my knowledge, enables me to grow, and helps others.
• Relationships is defined as connections between and among people. I appreciate my husband, college-age daughter, two cranky cats, family, and friends. I also value my coworkers, neighbors, the people I interact with on an ordinary day, and the human connection we all share. 
• Health is defined as physical and emotional wellbeing. Having been around people with health and mobility issues, my health is vital to me.  I do yoga daily to increase my flexibility and balance. Roller skating combines speed, agility, music, and fun for me. Walking outside helps me with idea generation and clearing my head. Being mindful of nutrition, sleep, physical activity, and my energy levels dramatically enhances my life. 

Be sure to use your values as you consider the type of work you want to do and the workplace environment that will help you succeed.
​

• For me, happiness at work means I have a reasonable commute, an inviting office, and various projects. It also means I can work from home sometimes and have in-person meetings other times. It's also having challenging but not impossible work and growth opportunities.
• For me, autonomy at work means I have choices. If I have a later-in-the-day webinar, I can head out early and attend that meeting from home. I can take a break during the day and walk around the block to clear my head as I work on a challenging project. I can also leave early if I have an appointment or work later when I’m hitting flow.
• For me, meaningful work means that what I'm doing makes a difference. I can talk with a people leader about an issue within their department and coach them on a technique that could help. I can ask people what areas of job searching are struggles and create articles on that topic. I can also assess the skills people need to build and find unique ways for them to develop their proficiency.
• For me, relationships at work mean I can get to know people in a meaningful way. I may run a meeting on a topic in my area of expertise and learn something else from a subject matter expert. I get to interact with people at lunch or just work side by side and help one another as needed. I get a chance to know my coworkers as professionals and as people.
• For me, health at work means what I do is intellectually stimulating and the environment is positive. I have a supportive boss who wants me to be successful and gives me feedback to help me improve. I can choose to stand and work for a while, then sit to work on something else. People say hi and are inclusive, so I feel like part of the group.

How do your values influence your career decisions? Share your thoughts in the comments.