By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

In a previous article, we discussed the value of knowing what you want, what you don’t want, and what would be okay. As your job search continues, you may adjust what you want as your job search progresses.

​Here is how your job wants and needs may change over time:

• In months 1-2 of your job search, you may be stringent about the characteristics of the job you will accept. You may be set on getting your dream title, at your dream salary, with your dream benefits, and working 100% remote.
  
  
• In months 3-4 of your job search, you may ease your requirements based on the responses you’ve been getting from employers. At that point, you may be open to a really good title, or even an okay title, okay benefits, and even an okay or acceptable salary. However, 100% remote may be non-negotiable for you.
  
  
• During months 4-6, when you know the end date for your unemployment payments is drawing near, you may stumble across a job with a more junior title but with a really good salary really good benefits that is hybrid with only occasional onsite work needed. This might be the right combination for you.
  
  
• After 6 months, you may be in a position where you need to start earning income since your unemployment payments are over. Now, you may be most concerned about a really good salary, be okay with no benefits (because maybe you’re on another household member’s plan), and take a 100% remote contract gig with a solid hourly wage. 

Conversely, you may be committed to find a job that very closely aligns with your target job. The good news is that you get to decide what role is right for you, and what will make you happy longer term. The bad news is that it may take you longer if you have very specific requirements and less flexibility. In this case, make sure that you think through options for interim income so you are able to support yourself as you find a role that meets your requirements. 

By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

​One of the hardest things about being laid off is telling other people about it--specifically fielding their uninvited questions. I'm not talking about work people or your professional network, either. I'm talking about the family friend you run into at the grocery store, that parent you went to a PTA meeting with once, seldom-seen relatives at a holiday gathering, and the neighbor you pass by only occaisionally. Worse yet, it is interacting with a group of well-intentioned people who express their curiosity, worry, and opinions regarding your wellbeing. 

Here are a few suggested talking points for managing those conversations that pop up at just the wrong time.

After you've chatted with your inner circle, it’s time to think about addressing this topic with everyone else. This includes people who make random comments about your situation, those who don't really know how layoffs work, and the ones who genuinely want to help but may not have the best advice. These conversations may be rough, especially if you feel vulnerable. Your goal may be to get through the awkwardness and move on to other topics.  

To prepare, it is helpful to know how to respond. Here are a few suggestions for talking points to get you through. 

The question: I heard you’re unemployed. What happened there!

Your core message: My job ended. It is a thing that happened. 

• I was part of a company-wide reduction in force at ABC Lending. My job ended on Tuesday.
• I was part of a layoff. About 500 of us were part of the reduction in force when the company restructured. That happened earlier this week.
• I was one of the 1000 people who had their position eliminated at XYZ company. It happened earlier this month.
• I got laid off. It happened a bit ago.
• My job ended recently, along with about a hundred others at the company.

The question: What are you going to do now? I would be freaking out! 
Or
​I’d be scared to death if I were you. Are you sure you’ll be okay?
Or 
​A person I sort of know lost their house/was unemployed for years/had to take a pay cut/never worked again.
​
Your core message: I’m going to keep on keeping on and also look for a new job.​

• ​I’ve had some time to think about it, and I know my next steps.
• I’ve made friends with the change, and I’m working towards my next role.
• I am worried, but I know I’ll be okay. I have a plan.
• It can be stressful, but I’m going to do the right things, and it will work out.
  
• I’m making a plan for what to do next.

The question: So--do you have a job yet? 
Or
Are you STILL unemployed?
Or 
Did that thing you were interviewing for work out?
​
Your core message: I am job searching and something will work out. 

• I'm talking to a few companies, and I'm sure something will work out soon.
• No, but I'm hopeful.
• I’m working on my next steps.
• Finding a job can take a while. I’m making progress toward something new. 

The question/comment: Don’t worry. It’ll be fine. Hang in there! You’re so talented!

​Your response: Thanks. 

The comments:

• You should just get a job as a bus driver/multi-level marketing scheme salesperson/sign spinner!
• You should hold out for a better job than you’ve ever had where you get all the vacation/all the money/are the ruler of the free world!
• You should go back to school/start your own consulting company/have a baby/adopt many cats/quit working altogether.
• You should downsize your house/sell your car/auction your jewelry/maybe get a yurt/live in a box outside your mom’s house.

Your core message: I appreciate you. I will make the right decision for me.

• Thank you for your suggestions. I’m figuring out what is right for me.
• I definitely have options. I'm figuring out my next steps.
• Thank you for your insights. I have a plan for what to do.

By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

A few months into my job search, I was overjoyed when I received an offer for a Learning and Development Manager position. The hiring process had been all over the place (not uncommon for a startup), but now it was a done deal. I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing my unemployment would end in two short weeks.

I made a "hooray I got a job--more details later" post on LinkedIn to celebrate.

A couple of days before my planned first workday, I got a call from the recruiter saying that my start date would be delayed. A few days later, I talked with the hiring manager, who told me the company was holding off on my start date until "the numbers came in" from their first quarter, and explained that this role was originally slated to start in Quarter 2. I asked her point-blank if this role was really going to happen. She assured me that it was not about if I would start, but when I would start, which would be within two months at the latest. She also committed to sharing regular updates. I left that conversation convinced that we were on track.

Two weeks after the date formerly known as my start date, I reached out to the hiring manager and recruiter for progress updates. A few days later, I received an email from the hiring manager with more assurances that I was the right person for the job and no new start date.

A week or so later, I got the call from the recruiter saying that a start date would not be coming. Ever. The company was going in a different direction—one that did not involve me. Even during this conversation, the recruiter assured me that I was still the hiring manager’s first choice—even though the role was now officially off the table. That was a hollow consolation prize.

The worst part was that I had just wasted two months of my life waiting and had no paycheck to show for it.