By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

​One of the hardest things about being laid off is telling other people about it--specifically fielding their uninvited questions. I'm not talking about work people or your professional network, either. I'm talking about the family friend you run into at the grocery store, that parent you went to a PTA meeting with once, seldom-seen relatives at a holiday gathering, and the neighbor you seldom see. Worse yet, it is interacting with a group of well-intentioned people who express their curiosity, worry, and opinions regarding your wellbeing. 

Here are a few suggested talking points for managing those conversations that pop up at just the wrong time.

After you've chatted with your inner circle, it’s time to think about addressing this topic with everyone else. This includes people who make random comments about your situation, those who don't really know how layoffs work, and the ones who genuinely want to help but may not have the best advice. These conversations may be rough, especially if you feel vulnerable. Your goal may be to get through the awkwardness and move on to other topics.  

To prepare, it is helpful to know how to respond. Here are a few suggestions for talking points to get you through. 

The question: I heard you’re unemployed. What happened there!
Your core message: My job ended. It is a thing that happened.

• I was part of a company-wide reduction in force at ABC Lending. My job ended on Tuesday.
• I was part of a layoff. About 500 of us were part of the reduction in force when the company restructured. That happened earlier this week.
• I was one of the 1000 people who had their position eliminated at XYZ company. It happened earlier this month.
• I got laid off. It happened a bit ago.
• My job ended recently, along with about a hundred others at the company.

The question: What are you going to do now? I would be freaking out! 
Or
​I’d be scared to death if I were you. Are you sure you’ll be okay?
Or 
​A person I sort of know lost their house/was unemployed for years/had to take a pay cut/never worked again.
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Your core message: I’m going to keep on keeping on and also look for a new job.
​

• I’m making a plan for what to do next.
• ​I’ve had some time to think about it, and I know my next steps.
• I’ve made friends with the change, and I’m working towards my next role.
• I am worried, but I know I’ll be okay. I have a plan.
• It can be stressful, but I’m going to do the right things, and it will work out.

The question: So--do you have a job yet? 
Or
Are you STILL unemployed?
Or 
Did that thing you were interviewing for work out?
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Your core message: I am job searching and something will work out. 

• I'm talking to a few companies, and I'm sure something will work out soon.
• No, but I'm hopeful.
• I’m working on my next steps.
• Finding a job can take a while. I’m making progress toward something new. 

The question/comment: Don’t worry. It’ll be fine. Hang in there! You’re so talented!

​Your response: Thanks. 

The comments:

• You should just get a job as a bus driver/multi-level marketing scheme salesperson/sign spinner!
• You should hold out for a better job than you’ve ever had where you get all the vacation/all the money/are the ruler of the free world!
• You should go back to school/start your own consulting company/have a baby/adopt many cats/quit working altogether.
• You should downsize your house/sell your car/auction your jewelry/maybe get a yurt/live in a box outside your mom’s house.

Your core message: I appreciate you. I will make the right decision for me.

• Thank you for your suggestions. I’m figuring out what is right for me.
• I definitely have options. I'm figuring out my next steps.
• Thank you for your insights. I have a plan for what to do.

By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

When I think about building my professional network, adding new LinkedIn connections is one of my markers of success. I use LinkedIn as a tool to create, build, track, and maintain my professional relationships. 

When I first started using LinkedIn, I connected with people I had met in person. At that time, my network mainly included the following people: 
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• Family and friends
• Current and former coworkers
• Current and former business associates (vendor contacts, customers, contractors)
• Colleagues from professional development groups
• People I met in person or via phone/webinar in a business setting
• People I met through introductions from my current professional connections

When the pandemic hit, I realized I needed to shift my approach, or I would not meet anyone new--and I've continued to add to my professional network. I also realized that since more companies were open to hiring remote people, I needed to broaden my network beyond the people I would encounter in person. In addition to the people I used to connect with, I now also started proactively sending connection requests to the following types of people:
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• Other members of my LinkedIn groups
• People in my geographical area
• People in the fields of talent development, change management, instructional design, and organizational design
• People who work for companies that interest me
• Recruiters
• People with common interests or experiences
• People with mutual connections
• People who presented at sessions I attended
• People who attended online sessions that I also attended

Again, the more people I meet, and the more people I connect with who know about my professional value, the better I will be able to find a new role that meets my requirements more quickly.

I often connect with people when there are specific reasons to connect that are noteworthy, including the following:
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• People recently laid off:  I empathize with their job loss, mention job search-related resources, and invite them to connect.
• People recently hired: I congratulate them on their new role, mention our commonality, and invite them to connect.
• People who just completed a degree, certification, or other educational program: I congratulate them on their accomplishments, mention any commonality we have, and invite them to connect. 

Since LinkedIn now limits the basic account to only 5 personalized connection requests per month, I adopt multiple strategies to build rapport with people. In some cases, I still send a personalized connection request. This can be especially helpful when I send a connection request to someone I have not met before. 

I include the following components when personalizing a connection request:
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• Greeting: Hi, [person’s first name spelled correctly].
• Personal Note: Include details on how you met, compliment them on a previous post, share a helpful tip, comment on their situation, or point out something we have in common.
• Invitation to Connect: I’d like to add you to my professional network. and/or Let’s connect!
• Signature: [Your Name] 

Personalizing a connection request isn't the only way to help you gain that new connection. Here are a few tips you can use without a paid LinkedIn subscription: 
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• Make sure your profile headline is descriptive. When people see your connection request, and look at your headline, seeing "Looking for my next opportunity" tells them far less about you. Instead, starting with your area of focus, industry, desired job title, or other specifics will give them more reason to connect with you.
• Interact with one of their recent posts. This helps boost how many people see their post and they will see your name, profile picture, and start of your headline. This name recognition make them more likley to accept your connection request. 

By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

When life is run-of-the-mill, it’s still hard to accomplish essential tasks on your to-do list. Losing your job upends your life and gives you a whole new set of challenges. These include uncertainty about the future, new complexities in your financial life, and general worry about how long it might take for things to get back to “normal.” You are now entering a challenging phase in your life where you will experience more rejection in a shorter period of time than ever before. All these factors will inhibit your ability to progress on your goals. 

Some days will be amazing. Within a half hour of waking up, you get a phone screen invite, notice a hiring manager accepted your LinkedIn connection request, and read a message from a recruiter for a role that looks promising. Hearing good news fills you with hope and boosts your energy. Soon, you’re updating your budget, making that overdue phone call, and cleaning your whole kitchen. You use that extra burst of energy to start preparing for tomorrow’s phone screen. On that very good day, you may even check a few extra things off your to-do list.
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Then there will be other days. Before you’ve had your first cup of coffee, you’ll check your email and find a “we’re moving forward with other candidates” message after a “the position has been filled” followed by a “this position has been put on hold indefinitely” message. After a triple dose of rejection, the rest of the day’s planned activities may fall by the wayside. 

You have probably been relying on the overly simplistic getting-things-done strategies people often bluster about. If your only plan for success involves hammering away, powering through, or pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, you will have problems. It’s an excellent time to remind yourself that bucking/soldiering/cowboying up is not a long-term sustainable strategy. It is a short-term fix you can use occasionally when you have no other options. Making that once-in-a-while solution your go-to move will leave you irritable, burned out, and feeling like the failure you most certainly are not.
​
To find the right new job for you, even the best to-do list won’t ensure success all by itself. You won’t be able to push yourself beyond your limits consistently for very long. Given that many job searches last between a few weeks and several months, you will need to find a way to sustain the effort you’ll need to achieve your job search goals. 

When I’m in career transition, I spend a lot of time writing, applying for jobs, and interacting on LinkedIn. I also tend to rewatch tv shows and movies. Conventional time management would say that I’m wasting a good chunk of my life watching fictional people live theirs and that I should spend that wasted time on the higher-value items on my to-do lists.

​In reality, it is not feasible to be hyper-productivey all the time. Achieving at a high level requires preparation and adequate recovery time. That means if I have two video interviews in one day, I will appear to be doing a lot of nothing for those hours right afterward. The only way I can knock those interviews out of the park is by managing my energy well. 

Remember, it’s not just about tallying up those hours and having a brag-worthy number. Instead, work with your energy levels, balance planning and doing, and align your activities with your peak productivity times. 
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Prioritizing self care, so you have enough energy to perservere, is a great first step.

By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

When your “day job ends,” many things in your financial life change. For one, what is for many people their primary source of income, ends. This often prompts a quick shift to a short-term "survival" mindset that will last from the layoff event until the first paycheck from that new job arrives. 

Let's talk about your new financial goals and how to manage expenses.   

Disclaimer: (You know there has to be one of these now that we're talking about topics like personal finances and health insurance.)

While I know quite a bit based on my previous work experience supporting financial coaches, my own research, and my personal life experiences, I do not currently hold a license or certification to give financial advice. Therefore, the information provided here is educational information provided as guidance.

I hope you can glean value from my lessons learned. Feel free to take my recommendations or not—but whatever you do, double-check my facts (and everyone's facts, for that matter). This is your life, and you will care more about your finances and health care than anyone else. With that, read on. 

When gainfully employed, your household financial goals may look like this: 
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• Pay monthly bills on time and in full.
• Spend money on things that you need and enjoy.
• Save in a Health Savings Account (HSA).
• Save for retirement.
• Pay down debt.
• Give to causes you care about.
• Save for short and long-term goals. 

Typically, goals include living within your means and spending/saving/giving money in line with your values and financial priorities. When things are going "as normal," you probably have the capacity to think about current activities and consider what is possible in the future.

During a career transition, financial priorities shift from being proactive to focusing on the here and now. The goal is to get through the next one to six months with as few adverse effects as possible. Here are my recommendations for crucial goals to keep in mind during a period of reduced income and job transition: 
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• Pay monthly bills on time and in full (or make other arrangements).
• Prioritize money on things that you need in the short term.
• Find ways to enjoy your life that have a smaller price tag.
• Minimize and delay expenses.
• Preserve your credit score.
• Tap savings as needed. 
• Minimize the amount of debt incurred.

​While navigating post-layoff unemployment, the goal is to make it through with as few bumps and bruises as possible. Instead of trying to pay off a previous purchase or save for a goal, you will probably leave any “extra” money in your checking account just in case. 

This is also a good time to see what expenses you can pare down in the short term to ensure that the money you do have lasts a little longer. Here are a few ideas:
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• Review monthly bills and see what you can minimize, stop for a while, find a better deal, or delay.  
• Plan meals and buy groceries more mindfully to minimize waste.
• Make fewer restaurant trips and do more cooking at home.
• Meet people more often for coffee or a drink than dinner.
• Cut back on subscriptions (tv, music, audiobooks).
• Do more outdoor activities and YouTube exercise videos, and fewer gyms and in-person classes.
• Take fewer flying vacations and more day drives to local destinations or overnight trips to stay with friends and family. 

Here is a recommendation for prioritizing which bills you pay when money is tight:

• Rent or mortgage payments
• Transportation
• Phone
• Utilities: electricity, gas, heat
• Food (which is lower on the list because food help is more readily available)
• Minimum payments on debt

If you can’t pay your bills, call the company and discuss how to make arrangements. Instead of just plain NOT paying a bill, make a phone call. I know this can be hard and humbling, but it is important to figure out a plan. Remember, you're not the first person to be in a position where they had an unexpected job loss and needed to figure out alternatives. It is also to the company's advantage to work with you. It's in the company's interest to help you stay on track as a customer than for them to spend the time and staffing on repossessing items or turning off and on utilities. Help them help you.

Making this call also helps minimize damage to your credit score (which could even impact your ability to find work sometimes). Be sure to call right away when you start to have issues instead of waiting until you have a lot of issues. I encourage you to call when you worry abouat having a hard time making one mortgage payment instead of waiting until you are months behind. Remember, though, even if you have waited, MAKE THAT CALL! 

When working with a company on making payment arrangements, you may be able to defer payments, figure out a payment plan, take advantage of a company-sponsored program, or find a government-sponsored program to help you during a hard time. County, faith-based organizations, and non-profits may be able to help you, too. Whether you need help paying for gas, food, transportation, or utilities, make sure to use the available resources.