By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady Managing Curious and Well-Intentioned PeopleOne of the hardest things about being laid off is telling other people about it--specifically fielding their uninvited questions. I'm not talking about work people or your professional network, either. I'm talking about the family friend you run into at the grocery store, that parent you went to a PTA meeting with once and the neighbor you seldom see. Worse yet, it is interacting with a group of well-intentioned people who express their curiosity, worry, and opinions regarding your well-being. Here are a few suggested talking points for managing those conversations that pop up at just the wrong time. Getting Your Patter DownAfter you've chatted with your inner circle--those people with whom you share your raw and uncut thoughts, feelings, and worries--it’s time to think about how you talk about this with all the rest of the people. It is those people who make random comments, who don't really know how layoffs go, and who might be trying to be helpful or supportive or to give you advice on a situation that is foreign to them. These conversations may be rough for you, especially if you're feeling vulnerable. Your goal may be to get through the awkwardness and move on to other topics. To prepare, it is helpful to have an idea of how to respond. Here are a few suggestions for talking points to get you through. Talking About Your Current State and Plans
Talking About The Job You No Longer HaveThe question: I heard you’re unemployed. What happened there! Your core message: My job ended. It is a thing that happened.
Talking About What Is Next For YouThe question: What are you going to do now? I would be freaking out. Or I’d be scared to death if I were you. Are you sure you’ll be okay? Or A person I sort of know lost their house/was unemployed for years/had to take a pay cut/never worked again. Your core message: I’m going to keep on living and also look for a new job.
Talking About STILL Not Having a JobThe question: So--do you have a job yet? Or Are you STILL unemployed? Or Did that thing you were interviewing for work out? Your core message: I am job searching and something will work out.
Acknowledging People's ReassurancesThe question/comment: Don’t worry. It’ll be fine. Hang in there! You’re so talented! Your response: Thanks. Addressing Well Intentioned and/or Awful AdviceThe comments:
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Looking BackThere are several days each year when people typically look back and assess their lives. This could be the anniversary of a death, a holiday full of memories, or your birthday. For me, the day I reflect is Groundhog Day. February 2, 2006Early in 2006, my life was at a crossroads. My then-husband and I were in the process of getting divorced, and I was figuring out how to transition from a house to two houses and what co-parenting my 2-year-old daughter would be like. The one shred of stability I had was my job. I was happy to have one thing I could count on not changing. …and then February 2 happened. That morning, I went to work. I took a few minutes between meetings to create a spreadsheet to figure out if I could afford to buy a condo I’d looked at the night before on my own. As I saved my file, I got a tap on the shoulder that I had an impromptu meeting. I grabbed a pen and a legal pad and walked into a conference room full of executives who informed me that my position was eliminated due to restructuring because of the company being acquired. Welcome to layoff #2. I was in shock. I returned to my desk, deleted my spreadsheet (which had just become irrelevant), told my coworker Brad “I’m gone,” and found myself sitting in my car with a box containing all of my formerly workly possessions. From the parking lot of my ex-workplace, I called my soon-to-be ex-husband to tell him about my now ex-job. His only response was, “Huh.” Then, It Got A Little WorseThat weekend, I was on a road trip to visit some of my high school friends for a fun weekend of reminiscing and going to the Snowflake Ski Jump. On my way there, a local cop pulled me over for speeding. As I sat there, I glanced at the notification I’d just received from unemployment sitting in my passenger seat—the one that said I’d receive less money than the last time I’d been laid off—meaning I wouldn’t be bringing enough money in to cover my half of the mortgage. As the officer approached my window, I could feel the tears well up. I could not get a ticket, too. I would cry (as I often heard people threaten to do), but this was no empty threat that would come to bear only through theatrics. I was legit going to fall apart if this happened. This moment—sitting in the car with indications of my life failures greatest hits smacking me in the face was a low point in my life—rivaled only by my dad’s unexpected death when I was still in high school. Then, It Got a Little BetterFortunately, I think because of my street cred, which included being a native of a town nearby, I drove away ticket free. One thing had gone okay. Then I saw friends, connected with new people, and spent more time with my daughter. I also had the time and space to figure out what to do with myself now. The Transition BeginsIt was an ugly, ugly few months. I applied for countless jobs. I put our house up for sale. My daughter’s dad (new language from the book Mom’s House, Dad’s House) and I decided to move in tandem to Minneapolis, Minnesota from Madison, Wisconsin. I looked for jobs, made business connections, and stayed with friends on the way to and from my regular trips to Minneapolis. I didn’t sleep well for months. A tree fell down in my front yard the day of my open house, so I figured out how to have a giant tree removed while driving on I-90 back home from a job interview. That May, I found a job, a preschool for my daughter, a new place to live, and reconnected with one of my best friends from high school. Later, my daughter's dad found a job and moved to Minneapolis, along with his new girlfriend (a lovely person and good to my daughter). Then, to mix it up, I totaled my car, dated and broke up with a couple of people, and got Shingles three times in a row. Some days, after work, I would lie on my floor and look at the ceiling in my apartment, my low-cost therapy as I acclimated to all of the life changes. I adjusted to my new normal after going through every significant life change (save a death in the family and someone I love going to prison) I could think of to endure. Then, It Kept Getting BetterIn October, on the same day, I was approved for a car loan and found out that my house in Madison had new owners. Over time, I made two great friends from my job and got comfortable in a new city. I started dating someone who was great, then bought a house with and married that guy--who is an awesome stepdad and cat dad. I got laid off again and got another good job, then got laid off again and got an even better job. Things have gone pretty well through layoffs, reemployments, trials and tribulations. Through it all, my husband is awesome, my now-adult daughter is amazing, and the cats mostly tolerate my presence. A Frame of Reference for GratitudeSometimes, I see people who are unhappy with what they have. The strange upside of having gone through rough times is that it gives you a frame of reference. It reminds me to be grateful for the roof over our heads, my husband playing video games with our two cats in his lap, my healthy, happy daughter, and an ongoing stream of new challenges and adventures. I’m grateful for being active, able-bodied, and having a strong sense of well-being. I am grateful for winter heat, summer air conditioning, and all the machines that do my housework. I treasure mother/daughter movie nights, trips to the skating rink, and building relationships with new friends and colleagues. I value my roller derby skates, my outside roller skates, and my inline skates. I appreciate my cats, Zippy and Meathook, and the combination of disdain and affection they have for me. I am genuinely grateful for it all. Groundhog Day is my annual reminder to remember all these things. Learn More
Hooray! You Have an Interview!After goodness knows how many applications, FINALLY, you have heard back from a company who wants to talk with you! There is hope after all! Welcome to what is often step one of the interview process: the phone screen. Remember, each company may handle their interview process just a little differently. Regardless, some version of a phone screen is the starting point. A phone screen can be anywhere from the basic 30-minute voice-only call where they make sure you can speak coherently and understand what you applied for all the way up to a full-blown deep dive into your resume. Typically, you'll be speaking with a recruiter, not the hiring manager, at this point in the process. In this article, we'll talk about the more basic initial phone screen, how to prepare, and typical questions asked. ...And So It Begins: Message From a RecruiterIn many cases, a recruiter will reach out to you directly to schedule a phone screen through email. Many companies are using a scheduling program (like Calendly) so you can select a time that works for you. If this is the case, I would suggest taking a slot as soon as you can get in and comfortably complete the interview. For me, that would be the next day if possible. In other cases, you may receive a phone call from a recruiter that invites a callback. In these cases, they may be asking to schedule a phone interview with you, or they may just launch right into the phone screen while they have you on a call. Personally, I'll usually do my interview preparation before making that initial phone call back to the recruiter just in case they want to do it right then and there. Interview Prep: QuestionsDon't let the supposed informality of a phone call fool you. This is for reals an interview. You need to be ready to make a good impression and answer key questions. Here are the phone screen interview questions that you for sure need to be prepared to answer. Keep these in mind as you research the role, the company, and your interviewer. (We'll talk more about answering these questions well in a bit.) Here are the most common questions I have experienced on a phone screen:
Interview Prep: The RoleGiven that you may have applied for many, many jobs since the one for which you are interviewing, it's important to refamiliarize yourself with this role. Make sure that when you speak to your interviewer, you are positioning yourself as a strong candidate who is able to do (and wants to do) this specific job.
Interview Prep: The Company and Your InterviewerNow that you remember what the role is about, take time to learn more about the company. Remember, you're learning information to help you present yourself well, answer questions about the company and what they do, and even know about current initiatives and news about the organization.
Interview Prep: Your AnswersNow, back to those questions and strategies for answering each one. Is this still a good time for us to talk? Ideally, the answer is yes. This is a courtesy question recruiters often ask. Tell me about yourself. This is your opportunity to tell the recruiter a quick summary of your professional history and the unique knowledge, skills, and attitudes you bring to this role.
Why are you looking for a new job? Companies are interested in why you want to make a change. They may also be leery if they perceive that you have made many changes within a short time. They may be wondering if how they are promoting the position is working. They may just want to see if you trash your previous/current employer or are respectful. Again, be truthful, stay positive, and keep it short.
Why are you interested in this role? Companies often want to make sure you actually want the available position, not just any old job. Speaking about why you want to work in this particular role is a way to show you are being intentional about your next career move. This question also allows you to talk about who you are, what you know about the role, and the skills you bring.
What do you know about our company? Each company has its own personality. This question shows that you, as a job candidate, are a good fit for the organization and that you've taken the time to learn a little more.
What is your desired salary? While having salary ranges in job descriptions is becoming more common, it is not included in all job descriptions. Often, this question comes up very early in the process. You need to have a sense of your desired range and what is a typical range for the type of role for which you are interviewing.
What questions do you have for me? This is your opportunity to ask questions. Given that you have a job description and not much else about this role at this point, take time to think about questions to ask. There are also countless lists online of possible questions to ask. Google them and see which ones seem right for you. Remember, too, that some of these questions might be more appropriate for the hiring manager than the recruiter. (If you continue in the hiring process, you'll meet with the hiring manager soon.)
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by Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady Learning About YourselfThe first step of job searching is figuring out what kind of a role you even want. Instead of jumping right into the job you did before, taking a little time for introspection is wise. One good step in this process is finding out more about your strengths. Learning about what you are good at--and how to tell the story of your talents and successes--can help you position yourself well as you apply and interview for a new role. People Are Good at Different ThingsIf you ask many people what they are good at, they would need help putting their natural abilities into words. Taking the StrengthsFinder assessment was a great starting point for me to better understand what I do well. Often, individuals are blind to their own unique talents. In the past, I have wrongly assumed that EVERYONE does the things I do. Like (of course) everyone takes notes regularly in everyday conversations when they learn something--and (of course) everyone makes a seating chart whenever they are in a group of new people to remember names. Turns out--NOPE! These are things I did that not everyone does. This was a huge breakthrough for me. So how do you figure out what you do that not everyone does? Part of the Answer: CliftonStrengths AssessmentThe CliftonStrengths Assessment (previously known as Clifton StrengthsFinder) is a wonderful tool for identifying what you are good at, how that manifests, and how your version of each strength shows up. The 30-minute online assessment includes 177 questions, including paired statements. Then, on a scale, you select which of the statements is more like you. From there, you'll receive a report identifying your top five strengths along with a more detailed description of how those strengths are exhibited in how you interact with the world. Reading a report about yourself (one that is freakishly accurate, by the way) is downright life-changing. After taking the assessment, you'll be able to see your unique talents and have language to explain how what you do sets you apart from others. Having a way to put your abilities into words can translate directly into your resume and how you talk about who you are and what you bring to the table. My Strengths and How They Show UpMy identified strengths, in order, are Strategic, Learner, Arranger, Achiever, and Individualization. Here are a few details I learned from my report and reflecting on those results:
More Strategies for Finding Strengths and TalentsHere are a few other strategies for identifying what you're good at and how you show up in the world:
Learn MoreBy Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady The Value of Professional NetworkingWhen it comes to job searching, professional networking is a critical component of success. Ideally, you make initial connections with people through LinkedIn (maybe even after meeting them in person or at an online group event). While this is a great start, there is value in building relationships beyond that initial connection. A 1:1 meeting can significantly strengthen a networking relationship and help you learn how you and your new connection can help one another succeed. About 1:1 Networking MeetingsSo what exactly is a networking meeting? Back in the day, I remember hearing people talk about doing "informational interviews." In short, if you were interested in having a particular job or working with a specific company, you would contact an organization or individual and ask if they would meet you for an informational interview. In this 1:1 meeting, which could take place via phone or in person, you might learn about the company, what they are looking for, skills to acquire, and more. It also allowed you to start to build a relationship with a company--or a possible advocate in the person doling out said information. Fast forward to now. Today, a networking meeting is typically between you and another person deciding to spend a half hour-ish together. This meeting, sometimes called a coffee chat, could happen virtually via Zoom or in person, often over coffee. If you're job searching, the typical focus will be on how to progress in your job search. Someone may agree to a networking meeting because you have things in common (like a field of work, background, professional goals), because they are generally committed to helping people when they are job searching, or because you have a mutual acquaintance to ask that person to meet with you to help you out. Networking Meeting = Informal InterviewWhenever you have an opportunity to meet one-on-one with someone, remember that you are taking part in a type of informal interview. Whenever I meet with someone in career transition, my goal is to help them figure out their next steps, offer advice (if they ask and are interested), and give them ideas on further steps they might take, including who they should speak with next While I go in with this idea, the amount of help I'll provide also depends on how this networking meeting goes. Ideally, we have a good, productive conversation, and I think to myself, "I totally want to help this person more." If the meeting goes well, I'll refer them to specific resources that might benefit them (like a networking group they might want to join, a company to check out, someone to follow on LinkedIn) and even put in a good word for them to have a networking meeting with someone else who might get them closer to their goals. In addition, if it goes REALLY well, this is a person who I'll refer to others for openings, pass on job opportunities, and maybe even hire someday. If the meeting doesn't go well, I'll share a few resources, but I may not be willing to help them as actively moving forward. Remember, any interaction you have with people will impact their desire to help you in the future. Types of Networking MeetingsHere are a few common types of networking meetings:
Networking Meeting Best PracticesHere are a few best practices for networking meetings:
The True Power of Networking MeetingsWhen people talk about how they "networked" into a new job, typically, that means they leveraged their initial connections to help make inroads with new contacts, who helped them get closer to a new position. The holy grail of networking meetings is when the person you meet with agrees to introduce you to someone else they know who could help you. That process repeats until you're talking to a hiring manager or influencer who can help you get an interview for a job. Having good networking meetings is a critical step in that process. Learn More |
Just get laid off?
Click here for info on what to do first. Author7-time layoff survivor Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady, waxes poetic on layoffs, job transitions, & career resilience. Buy The Book!Were you recently laid off from your job and need a roadmap for what's next? Pick up a copy of my book, Seven Lessons From Seven Layoffs: A Guide!
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