There are several days each year when people typically look back and assess their lives. This could be the anniversary of a death, a holiday full of memories, or your birthday. For me, the day I reflect is Groundhog Day.

That weekend, I was on a road trip to visit some of my high school friends for a fun weekend of reminiscing and going to the Snowflake Ski Jump. On my way there, a local cop pulled me over for speeding. As I sat there, I glanced at the notification I’d just received from unemployment sitting in my passenger seat—the one that said I’d receive less money than the last time I’d been laid off—meaning I wouldn’t be bringing enough money in to cover my half of the mortgage. As the officer approached my window, I could feel the tears well up. I could not get a ticket, too. I would cry (as I often heard people threaten to do), but this was no empty threat that would come to bear only through theatrics. I was legit going to fall apart if this happened.
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This moment—sitting in the car with indications of my life failures greatest hits smacking me in the face was a low point in my life—rivaled only by my dad’s unexpected death when I was still in high school.​

Fortunately, I think because of my street cred, which included being a native of a town nearby, I drove away ticket free. One thing had gone okay. Then I saw friends, connected with new people, and spent more time with my daughter. I also had the time and space to figure out what to do with myself now.

In October, on the same day, I was approved for a car loan and found out that my house in Madison had new owners. Over time, I made two great friends from my job and got comfortable in a new city. I started dating someone who was great, then bought a house with and married that guy--who is an awesome stepdad and cat dad.

I got laid off again and got another good job, then got laid off again and got an even better job. Things have gone pretty well through layoffs, reemployments, trials and tribulations​. Through it all, my husband is awesome, my now-adult daughter is amazing, and the cats mostly tolerate my presence. 

As our lives get busy, we feel like we're not accomplishing as much as we should be. Even if you're someone who makes a to-do list, too often, we quickly forget about all those things that are done and focus only on what else we should have accomplished. This is a great way to bring yourself down.

In life in general, and especially during a job search, it's easy to forget everything we managed to get done. Especially during challenging times, it's essential to make a note of what is going well. 

Your successes can be anything. They can be fun things you did, achievements, or accomplishments that made you let out a huge audible sigh of relief that they were finally complete.

​It's really about acknowledging that you did so that you realize that you're not just sitting around NOT ACCOMPLISHING ANYTHING. Instead, it's a reminder of how amazing you are. Chances are when you review your success list, you'll be reminded of even more things to add--and that's really the point. 

It's incredible, really. Creating a list of accomplishments, whether small, medium, or large, helps so much. When I started, I had a hard time thinking of anything to write. Then, as I got going, it was hard to stop. Taking time regularly to acknowledge positive actions and accomplishments makes all the difference. 

What would you include in your success list? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments. 

The first step of job searching is figuring out what kind of job you even want. Instead of jumping right into the same job you did before, it's wise to take a step back and reflect. A good starting point is thinking about what is truly important to you in your life and how you express those values. 

Identifying what matters to you is helpful whether you're thinking about how you spend your money, what kinds of activities appeal to you, who you want to spend time with, and (go figure) what type of work you want to do. Unfortunately, I also find that it takes a lot of work to find the right words to articulate those high-level ideas that matter to you. 

When designing a retirement planning seminar for clergy, I discovered the think2perform Online Values Exercise at a previous job. Since thinking about your money (or your work for that matter) starts with what you care about on a larger scale, this is a great starting point. Personally, I take this assessment on at least an annual basis because the process helps me revisit my values in general and helps me more thoughtfully talk about what I do and why I do it.

The assessment includes 51 named value cards and 4 rounds of reviewing the cards. The total time to complete this activity is about 15 minutes, and more, depending on how much contemplation you do during the process. You also have the option to add your own values as needed. In the end, you'll have 5 value cards with descriptions that name and describe key areas that matter to you. 

For me, as of the last time I completed this activity, my top 5 were (in no particular order) autonomy, education, helping others, health, and relationships. 

When I think about the type of work, my desired way of working, and my work preferences, using my values as a starting point helps me articulate how I think about these things in a more meaningful way.

• My value of autonomy reminds me that I like to have choices in the type of work I do and when I do it. For example, I like to have the option to work longer on a project when I hit flow or when a deadline is on the horizon. I also like to have the ability to come in later or leave earlier on other days. 
• My chosen field of learning and development is all about education. I literally help people learn for a living. I'm also a continuous learner who is constantly gathering information from industry best practices, to software skills, to a great book to read. This constant information gathering helps me to come up with solutions to problems as they arise. 
• I was drawn to learning and development, managing projects, and leading teams because of my overarching commitment to helping others. Ever since I was a small child growing up around a lot of adults, I found myself working to figure out details in any situation from context and then helping others who also looked like they didn't quite know what was going on. I always want to share a personal contact, organization, or website with someone if I think it can help them meet their goals. 
• Having been around people with health and mobility issues, my health is very important to me. This impacts my life including choices on exercise, diet, sleep, and overall wellness. Managing these factors helps improve my overall health, including my mental well-being. Therefore, I seek a challenging job where I can leverage my talents to create happiness in myself and within coworker relationships.
• I value relationships with people. I appreciate what is unique about each person and genuinely enjoy getting to know individuals personally and professionally. I also believe in building strong working relationships to collaborate to solve problems and ensure success as we partner.  

by Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

I'm currently working my way through layoff #7, which is also my fourth layoff in the late fall. Out of these fall layoffs, three of them went into the holidays.

Being in a career transition is rough. Being in a career transition during the holidays—especially the week before Christmas through the new year—is soul-sucking.

I’ve read several of articles touting the benefits of job searching during the holidays--and I mean a lot, a lot of them. (No one else will be applying! You’ll get a leg up on other applicants! Tons of people are trying to fill positions before the year's end!) 

I'm sure somebody somewhere found the role of a lifetime on the day after Christmas interviewing with the one brand new HR rep with no vacation yet who was stuck working. I am not that person. I'm also not going to make the mistake of trying to be that person ever again.

Here is my advice to job seekers at the end of the year. Take a holiday break. Go do things you’d like to do when you’re gainfully employed but that are harder to find time to do. Go to a noon yoga class. Get together with friends for lunch. Read a novel with no obvious professional development benefit. Go to a matinee. Visit a museum. Take a road trip. Walk around the mall on a weekday. Buy fancy coffee in a café and people watch. Take some time for yourself. Take a break from pounding pavement on your job search and just breathe. I guarantee you'll feel better from giving yourself a reprieve.

Just like we all need vacation time to recuperate from our day jobs and be able to do good work, we also need to take a break from a job search so we can have the mental space to regroup. Take a couple of weeks off—like the week before and the week after Christmas—and reset. Your future self will thank you for this act of self-care.

by Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

Life is challenging when nothing in particular is happening. When you're going through a job change (especially one you didn't plan), it's even harder. While I'm a fan of self-reliance, I also know the value of finding people who want to support you and letting them do it. You're not weak for needing people. You are smart for planning ahead for what you will need.

I have been through a post-layoff job transition 7 times, and it is difficult each and every time. There is the fear that it will just never end and you'll be drifting for eternity trying to find paid work where you can pay your bills--much less in a job you want. You worry that you'll have to settle for something that may be even worse than the worst job you've ever had. You also worry that you'll run out of money and not be able to pay your bills and lose everything you own and everyone you've ever loved. While your rational mind knows this is all pretty unlikely, there will be moments when it all seems hopeless. That's where your support network comes in. 

No matter how resilient and downright badass you are, doing this alone makes it way harder. 

As an extra added bonus, people want to help you!

I'm always inspired by people who come out of the woodwork to check on me, tell me about an open position, thank me for helping them once upon a time, or offer to refer me for a role. Everyone has struggled with something at one time or another, and someone has helped them. Let other people help you. 

It also takes a village to get you through a career transition. Relying on one person for everything is all kinds of stressful. Know that people want to help, and it's a matter of figuring out what you need, letting people know, and reaching out to people when you need it. Going through a job search is challenging even in the best of circumstances. If you're starting from a layoff (especially the part where someone else got to make a big, uninvited life decision for you) it can be even more challenging. 

Here's a starter list of the types of help you may need during your job transition. More specifically, here is some of what I needed. Use this as a starting point and add details as it helps you:

• ​Emotional Support: You'll have all the feelings. Figure out who you can talk to about what. Sometimes you'll laugh, sometimes you'll cry, sometimes you'll vent, and on the most trying days, maybe all of the above. 
• Communication: Just telling people what is up can be draining--because people. Realize, too, that you telling them about your situation may result in them inadvertently trying to allay their fears that the same thing will happen to them. Find a friend who can help you spread whatever news there is to convey. Telephone. Telegraph. Tell a Karla. Find those people who love to connect with others (and even share some of the same social circles) and enlist their help.  
• Sounding Board: When you're making big decisions--or doing something you don't do very often, having someone to talk things through will is mission critical. Personally, I don't even always need my sounding board people to say much--just to sit there and listen (or at least just not talk over me) as I talk myself into or out of the idea I'm considering. There is so much value to writing or talking through ideas as you choose your next steps.
• Logistical Support: Sometimes, you'll need a hand figuring things out. Maybe it's having someone to watch your kids for a bit so you can have a phone interview. Maybe it's help with a ride if you're having car trouble. Whatever it is, it may seem small to them, but it'll solve a problem for you. 
• Fun: There will be many, many times when you just need a distraction. Watching a movie. Having coffee. Talking about non-job search related things. Having a conversation where you don't have to be "on" and can just chat with someone. It doesn't have to be elaborate. It just has to be a welcome break from all those "shoulds" to be something other than a job-searching human.
• Cheerleader: You also need someone to give you a pep talk. Whether it's someone who'll send you a quick "You've got this!" text or someone to remind you to take a deep breath and tell them your remarkable story, remember that encouragement is essential. They can also help you celebrate successes and remind you of your innate value when you're struggling.
• Accountability: You'll also need someone to help you keep on track. It may be as easy as them asking if you applied for that job you talked about. Or asking you if you updated your resume like you said you would do. I have people I text saying I'll do a given thing just so I have written it down, and I have the peer pressure to help me follow through. 
• New Ideas: There is a certain amount of trial and error when looking for a new job. Whether it's optimizing LinkedIn, figuring out how to network with new people, finding the best way to position your work experience, or where to find jobs, there's a lot to learn. Whether you tap into someone who works in that industry, or a hiring manager, or a resume writer, figuring out how to be a more effective job searcher is useful. 
• Connectors: Each of us has people in our personal and professional networks who seem to know all the things and/or all the people. Let them help you connect with helpful people, job leads, or ideas when you need them. 

When it comes to help, I start with my inner circle--close friends and family. I'm also sure to widen my support team beyond them, too.

I also move beyond that immediate group. I interact with my LinkedIn connections. I tap into online groups including job search groups, The White Box Club, and even LinkedIn groups focusing on networking or a content area (like sales enablement).

I interact with in-person membership groups like ATD or the Omaha OD Network. Or I seek out non-work connections through social Meetup groups or activities. Sometimes, I just spend time in coffee shops to indirectly interact with other people. It's a matter of figuring out what you need and finding a person to help.

Know, too, that there will be times when you need to straight up reach out to someone because you need help. Each person will have their areas of interest and expertise, so be sure to keep that in mind when asking for help.

It's helpful to consider who you might contact for different needs. Here are a few cases where I reach out to different people to ask for help:
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• Before a job interview, I will text my daughter, telling her I have a job interview. She will then text back words of encouragement.
• If I need non-job search social interaction, I'll reach out to my former "lunch ladies" coworkers with a link to my Calendly and ask if they're up for a catch-up conversation (then they can pick a time that works for them for us to chat.)
• If I'm having a rough day, I'll reach out to my best friend via text or phone to talk a bit. 
• If I'm unsure if my resume is clear, I'll contact a former coworker for his insights on what I might want to change. 
• If I want to talk shop but not directly job searching, I'll contact a LinkedIn connection I haven't chatted with in a while and see if they are up for a virtual coffee meeting. I get to have a fulfilling interaction with another person and glean a few professional insights, too. 

The process of being "in transition" is like no other. Not only do you have no outwardly dictated plans on any given weekday, but you don't know how long your unstructured time off will last (another week, another month, a few months?) or what your day-to-day life will look like once the transition is over.

​There's also the issue of figuring out what to do with yourself when you're not job searching--in addition to feeling guilty because you're not doing more job searching. As an extra added bonus, there are the occasional freakouts about money, nervousness about career prospects, and the once-in-a-great-while "I will never be employed ever again!" full-on panic.

Suffice it to say that job searching can be full of obstacles that make the process hard to manage. Knowing the possible issues is the first step towards figuring out how to mitigate each challenge and move forward. Here are five unfortunate reasons I have discovered about dealing with an unexpected career transition and a few coping strategies for dealing with each. 

Congratulations! You just found THE PERFECT JOB! You have all of the required and preferred qualifications!  It's at the right level with your dream company, and you even know someone who works there who will say great things about you! Surely your days of job searching are coming to a close because you are the purple squirrel for THE PERFECT JOB!

Enter reality. I'm sorry to say that you may not even manage to get so much as an initial phone screen for this position. Even when you feel like the job was tailor-made for you, someone in a decision-making position may not agree. Why might that happen? 

For one, the position may not actually be available. Some organizations post job openings to gauge interest in the position even though they have no plans to hire anytime soon. Conversely, the role may have been open for a while, and the selection process may be well underway. There could also be an internal person who will take the job without additional people being considered. In some cases, companies may have a policy that they need to post positions externally for a given length of time, even though they already have a candidate in mind.  Still other organizations may decide part way through the hiring process to leave a position unfilled but not remove it from their posted jobs.

Assuming the job is really, and for true accepting applicants, there may still be issues. For one, key organizational stakeholders may lack common agreement on what a job role will do and what constitutes being a well-qualified candidate. Decision makers may also each have their own non-negotiable requirements for the qualifications for the potential hire--which may or may not relate to the person's ability to do the job. Remember that no matter what the issue is, it seldom has anything to do with you personally. It's just the life of recruiting for and trying to fill positions with the best candidates they can find--sometimes with people who are (unfortunately) not you.

Remember a time at your last job when you had to deal with someone who was not good at what they did for a living? Like the rude salesperson who never did their paperwork right and missed deadlines? Or the recruiter who didn't keep good notes and forgot who they had phone screened? Or the company leader who wanted to approve every decision but would become unavailable for a week or more? During your job search, you'll realize those people exist in other organizations, too, and they sometimes stand between you and the job you want. 

It could come in the form of an administrative assistant who is supposed to coordinate your travel for an in-person interview--who didn't make reservations and then went on vacation, leaving you scrambling to find someone else to help. It may be the recruiter who doesn't realize that a learning management system and a learning content management system are roughly the same thing and wrongly screens you out early in the process. It may be the hiring manager who is overly concerned with your lack of industry knowledge and doesn't believe that anyone could just LEARN what they now know. It may be an insecure possible future coworker who wants to avoid hiring someone who might outshine them. Like the rest of life, things are not always "fair." You may not get the job, even if you are a strong candidate. And so it goes

I don't know about you, but I am friggin' delightful. I'm also able to connect and get along well with most people. However, during the interview process, no matter who I am or am not, it will not match what someone else thinks the candidate for the position should be. Whether they thought I should have smiled more, made a different outfit choice, or given more detailed examples, someone's negative reaction to who I am may take me out of the running for a job. 

People often have their own pet theories about what they'd like in a coworker, manager, or direct report. They may be convinced that having the title "account manager" is pivotal for success, that all candidates must have a master's degree, or that people who ride horses are pretentious. You might also have the misfortune of reminding them of the mean girl in high school and BOOM--instant dislike. Again, life isn't necessarily "fair."

The job interview process can be anything from one interview to many, many, many interviews, depending on the organization and the role. Typically, I expect to have a phone screen with an entry-level HR person to confirm that I can speak in sentences, an in-person interview with the manager and potential coworkers, and a final interview to demonstrate skills and/or meet with a company VP. In addition, a given employer may want you to do more to show that you have the skills necessary to do the job. For example, you might be asked to pass written assessments, submit work samples, present to a group or complete a project. They may even have you come into the office for the day and "work" as if you are already in the position you are applying for.

Interviews could take place over the phone, via web conference, through email, in person, or (more likely) a combination of all of the above. Some companies will have a pre-defined, structured process for the pacing and format of interviews. Other organizations will appear to be making it up as they go along. You may also inadvertently skip steps and realize near the end of the process that you should have talked about a basic topic like salary range or work location. Sometimes, it may seem that the interview process is never-ending because you have yet to talk with every single person in the organization. 

I remember being a child and how LONG the year seemed. It always took forever to get from my birthday at the end of August to Christmas. Enter adulthood. I find myself consistently marveling that it's already whatever day/month/season it is because it seems it was just that other day/month/season. In this scenario, your employer is the adult, and you are the child.
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​Some companies will be motivated to fill positions and move quickly. In contrast, others might have days, weeks, or even months between your contact with them--all because something that wasn't filling that position became a priority. 
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​What about that two days the employer estimated it would take them to contact you? It may turn into a week or two. Since they're busy addressing customer issues, traveling to client sites, and doing their expense reports, they didn't even realize it took that long. 

Or, as any job seeker doesn't want to hear, you may not be getting the job. Responding to a candidate quickly usually shows that the potential employer is interested. In many cases, taking longer to respond may indicate lagging interest. Such is how the whole process works.

Since forever, I have worked in the field of learning and development. I have been laid off a great many times due to economic downturns, companies being bought or sold, new company leadership, or good old fashion reorganizations. 

​While each period of unplanned job transition is rough in its own way, here are three core truths that help me weather the storm each time I search for a new work home.

When you're a hiring manager, you have a ton going on, and only one of those things is hiring a new person. You're still trying to manage your team, meet deadlines, troubleshoot customer problems, and juggle all the people you're considering for your open position. In an interview, when one candidate asks about the hiring process, you tell them you should know who will move on to the next steps in the process "by the end of this week"--and at the time, you believe that is a reasonable deadline. Then there is a software release with a bug that causes three meetings to be scheduled with big clients, or someone quits suddenly, leaving a lot of arrangements to be made, or your child has to be picked up from daycare with the flu. Friday comes and goes, and getting in touch with a candidate falls off your radar until next week. 

Meanwhile, as a job seeker, you put a note on your calendar that you'll know one way or another by Friday. Then you analyze every syllable you uttered in the interview, hoping you didn't say anything awful. You rethink a facial expression you interpreted as approving and wonder if it really was that at all. You suffer through Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, secretly worrying that you will never work again. Ever.  

Instead of spiraling, take action to get you closer to your job of being happily,  gainfully employed. 

After the interview, email the hiring manager a thank you message and send them a personalized connection request on LinkedIn. Put a note on your calendar for a few days after the hiring manager said they would contact you. Reach out to them at that time, including a few pleasantries, reiterating your interest in the role, and asking for an update. Will you get the job? Who knows. You did your part, identified what you can work on, and will continue to learn and grow as you go through the process for more roles. 

In addition, network with three more people and apply for three more jobs.

Inevitably as a job searcher, you run across it. THE job. It's the one you know is meant to be yours. It's perfect--easy commute, a great title, the go-to company, exactly what you are qualified (and want) to do. In your head you know it--this is MY job. You picture your new business cards, where you'll park, and how you'll introduce yourself as the "Director of Awesomeness" for this perfect company. You think--why should I even bother applying for anything else because this is SO my job!

Except, well, it's not actually your job yet. You're looking at it and seeing yourself in it, but it's not real. You don't work there. No one is sending you a paycheck for it. They don't even know your name yet. This MAY be the job you eventually get, but nothing is done yet. You know what else? It may not end up being your job. You need to remind yourself that it's not a done deal. Apply for that job--even work hard to get it. Know, though, that you may end up not even getting called in for an interview. This doesn't mean you're not still awesome. There's just a lot going on. There may be an internal candidate, or a previous coworker of the hiring manager, or someone who has a referral from a college friend, or someone who has even slightly more of a qualification that didn't make that job posting. 

Instead of spiraling, take action to get you closer to your job of being happily,  gainfully employed. 

Whenever you fall in love with a job or think of something as "your job,” make an extra effort to apply for additional jobs. If the job you see yourself in works out, great. If not, you're still working towards your ultimate goal of finding a new role (complete with a paycheck), whichever one that might be. 

In addition, network with three more people and apply for three more jobs.

Applying for jobs is a process. Looking back at my records, I have typically applied for between 40 and 100 jobs when I've been in career transition. It's easy to get discouraged. Sometimes you apply and hear back a fat lot of nothing. Sometimes my stomach sinks when I see a job that I've applied for (and was quickly rejected), and it's reposted, and realizing that they will hire "not me" for that role.  It's hard when the job where you interviewed a ton of times tells you they really liked you, but went with an internal candidate. It's rough to hear that you were great, but that you came in second. There is so much rejection in the job search process that you’ll inevitably feel down, like a loser, and like there is no hope. 

At the end of the day, though, you only need one job. You need one organization to tell you "yes.” You need one place where you and the employer agree to work together. When I remind myself that I only need an ultimate success rate of 1 in 100 to be happily, gainfully employed, it makes it all seem much more manageable. All those no answers get you to the one yes you need. The trick is that you don't know which one will be that yes. 

Instead of spiraling, take action to get you closer to your job of being happily,  gainfully employed. 

In addition, network with three more people and apply for three more jobs. 

You get up and get ready for work. It starts like any other day. Then, something happens that is a portent of doom:
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• An unexpected meeting (with an ominously ambiguous title) pops up on your calendar last minute. 
• You try to log into your work computer and are locked out. 
• You attend a hastily scheduled webinar where you find out that you and everyone else in the meeting is no longer employed with the company.
• You are called to an in-person meeting in a different room from your immediate coworker--and find that you are in the "bad room" of people who have lost their jobs. 
• You check your email on your phone to discover that today is the last day of your role. 

Whether you have a one-on-one (plus an HR representative) meeting with your soon-to-be-former boss or receive an awkwardly worded email that part of you thinks must be spam or a joke, you are now among the newly unemployed. 

Some days, you go to work with lots of plans and come home with a white box filled with all of your workly possessions. 

​Welcome to the suck.

It's hard to know what to do when you suddenly find yourself out of work. Even if there were rumblings about a possible reduction in force (RIF) at your company, it's still surreal when you realize your job is now over.

Whether you loved your job, hated it, or felt somewhere in between, it's time to deal with your current emotions, assess your current state, and (above all) not do anything particularly counterproductive as you figure out what to do with yourself. 

Based on the crazy number of layoffs I've navigated, here are my suggestions for your next steps. 

Curse you, feelings!

Losing your job, even through no fault of your own, is an emotional roller coaster. Given how much of your life you spend at work, suddenly not having the same job is a huge change. In fact, it’s the same level of change as things like getting divorced, having a close friend die, or going to prison. You may feel fine one moment, angry the next, then ecstatic, then in tears. Realize this is completely normal.

​Just like dealing with a death in the family, you’re dealing with the death of the future you thought you had. Losing that imagined future, regardless of your job’s role in your life, is a significant loss that needs to be addressed. Figure out how you will cope with these changes. You might choose positive ways (exercise, reconnecting with friends, journaling) or negative (overeating, overthinking, or a good old-fashioned bender). Find your emotional support people and confide in them. Talk to your partner, family, and friends. Find a support group (in-person, online, or both) to help you work through it.

As much as you may want to jump over the part where you have to admit you have feelings that influence how you live your day-to-day life, you need to address them—whether it happens now or later. During one of my layoffs, I was going through many new and exciting (read "stressful”) life changes all at once. Then, I compartmentalized and focused on the business of moving and finding a new job. Once I was in my new job, I pretty much worked during the day and went through the process of dealing with all of the life changes at night. Do what works for you.

As you process your feelings, be cautious about sharing right away (and/or in great detail) on social media. Give yourself 24-72 hours to feel your feelings and talk to the individuals in your support system offline. After you have had a little time to process, then decide what to post publicly. Be sure to get your head straight before sharing anything with the masses.

Disclaimer: (You know there has to be one of these now that we're talking about topics like personal finances and health insurance.)

While I know quite a bit based on my previous work experience supporting financial coaches, my own research, and my personal life experiences, I do not currently hold a license or certification to give financial advice. Therefore, the information provided here is educational information provided as guidance.

I hope you can glean value from my lessons learned. Feel free to take my recommendations or not—but whatever you do, double-check my facts (and everyone's facts, for that matter). This is your life, and you will care more about your finances and health care than anyone else. With that, read on. 

​Most of us work because we have expensive habits to support—like living indoors and eating on a regular basis. When a job ends, there are financial concerns that need to be addressed pretty quickly. The money coming into your household will change A LOT, and it's time to get your arms around those changes. 

While you won’t have the income from your job, you will receive your final paycheck, possibly vacation time that you have earned and, hopefully, a lovely parting gift from your former employer in the form of a severance package. 

If you do receive severance, the amount can vary wildly. In fact, it could be between a fat lot of nothing, to the equivalent of a paycheck or two, to 1-2 weeks of pay for each year you were with the organization, to a big old check from a tech firm doing widespread changes and wanting to be spoken well of in the media. As an extra added bonus, if you do receive severance, realize that it may be less money than you think because of taxes withheld or other various and sundry deductions. 

If you get a severance package, realize you will need to sign something before receiving that money. Once you sign, any thoughts you might have about legal action regarding your employment with the organization are pretty much over. Read the agreement given to you, consider having a lawyer look it over, and ask for clarifications (and any revisions) before signing it. After that, there is typically a waiting period before you receive that money. This is big-time adulting here, so enlist help as needed.

While your regularly scheduled income from your previous employer may end, in most cases with a layoff, you will be eligible for unemployment income. In short, apply for unemployment payments. The money used to make unemployment payments comes from the payroll taxes that employers pay. This money is intended to help people who have been laid off from their jobs to help fund the time it may take them to find a new, comparable job. 

Unemployment payments are administered by each state and vary from state to state. (I'll include a link at the end of this article.) After you apply for unemployment payments, there may be a waiting period before you receive a payment (in Minnesota, there is one "nonpayable week" before payments begin.) Your state will also outline the amount of each payment you will receive, the number of payments you are eligible to receive, and additional factors impacting your payments. You may also be eligible for job search support services and even programs to help you upgrade your skills. To learn more, visit this link and click on your state for additional details about unemployment and related benefits and services. 

In short, apply for unemployment income right away. In most cases, there is not a reason to forgo unemployment payments. 

​In the United States, where health insurance for people of working age is often employer paid, thinking through health insurance implications of a job change is critically important.

Since many people rely on their employer for health insurance coverage, figuring out this aspect can be tricky. If you are fortunate enough to have a  spouse/domestic partner/parent who can bring you onto their health insurance, check that out right away. In general, if you were covered by an employer's plan, and lose that coverage, you will be eligible to switch to another employer sponsored plan. Be sure to at least ask that question of that other potential employer-sponsored health care coverage.

If that's not an option, you have a few more decisions to make. If you do receive a severance package, health insurance coverage for some period of time may be included. Find out if your previously employer sponsored health insurance coverage is paid for by the employer, or if you will receive money to cover the cost of coverage. (These are two very different things.) You may also be eligible for COBRA coverage, which means that you would continue your previously employer paid health insurance, but pay for it yourself. Be sure to brace yourself when you see the amount that you will now be charged for that coverage--because it is usually A LOT more than you paid as an employee.

If you are not willing and/or able to continue with your previous employer's health plan, you may be able to go on the insurance exchanges to find coverage--which may even be subsidized given your new lower income level. Alternatively, for shorter term coverage against something super big and awful happening, you can check out short-term health care options. The coverage is not as comprehensive as what is on the exchange, but it's also way less expensive. Depending on your situation, you may also opt for the “be careful” health plan (no health coverage, but no sky diving either). Figure out what makes the most sense to you, and how to mitigate any risks you take.​

First off, this is A LOT of information to manage, and you don't have to do all of this alone. Be nice to yourself and know that you can totally do this.

Through my many, many layoffs, one thing has remained true. I have always ended up in a better place, both personally and professionally, than I would have expected. I learned new skills, met new people and made life changes that I probably needed to make, but I only did when life gave me the shove I needed

Remember, this whole process is a lot, but you can totally do this. I, for one, am here with information and resources to help you navigate some of the yuck as you create your new reality. You've got this. 

As a many-time layoff survivor, I have done quite a few job searches and had lots of interviews. Recently, I read an article about a job searcher who opted out of one hiring process. He did this after making it through three rounds of interviews and having the organization ask about arranging the next six (yes, six) rounds of interviews. 
​
I felt compelled to share my story about one seemingly never-ending interview process. Unfortunately, like with many things in life, it took a bad experience to teach me how to make better decisions.

Let me start by taking a moment to acknowledge that this is not always easy to do. It is hard to set boundaries when you’re hip-deep in a job search, especially when you’re unemployed. The longer the search goes on, the easier it is to tell yourself that you’ll summit Everest if a potential employer asks you to as part of possibly FINALLY getting a paying job.

Consider this your reminder to realize that jumping through more and more hoops doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll end up with a job at the end of the process. Do your future job-searching self a favor and think through what your boundaries are when it comes to participating in a given company's hiring process. (We'll revisit this a little later.)

During this particular job search, I was laid off at the end of the summer. From previous job searches, I hoped to find a new position before Thanksgiving because otherwise, it might be until February or March before I secured a new role.  

I was very excited when I ran across THE PERFECT JOB! It was an opening for a training director position within an easy commuting distance where I even knew someone who had connections within the organization.

Lesson Learned: Don’t fall in love with a job. Even if it seems like “the perfect job,” it is not yet “your job.” Apply, and hope for the best, but keep on applying. Until you have an actual accepted job offer, it is not “your job.

I met with my professional connection, and they filled me in. I learned about the organization, their clientele, their mission, the key players in the hiring process, and helpful background information. My connection even put in a good word with the organization (they had left on good terms.) I also learned that the company had some turnover in this position, so they were trying to make sure they did their due diligence and hired the right person this time around. 

Lesson Learned: Gather and synthesize information even when you’re excited because you found THE PERFECT JOB. This company having gone through two people in the role in a relatively short time period and being concerned about making another hiring misstep is something I heard and noted. Still, I didn't really take it to heart. In this case, the company was trying (maybe a little too) hard to hire the right person for the role. It may have also indicated something about the company or the position that caused people not to stay. My future self knows to synthesize information more carefully--and not overemphasize only the good things. 

I applied, and my connection put in a good word for me. The company quickly reached out to me for an initial phone screen. Then a phone interview. Then another phone interview. Then yet another phone interview. After four phone calls—each where the new interviewer seemed excited about me as a candidate and talked about who else I needed to talk to—I started to wonder what the game plan was for this whole process (aside from their overwhelming and often stated goal of not to make a hiring mistake).

Lessons Learned: In the initial phone screen or the first interview, ask about the hiring process. This includes their estimate of when this process will be over (a week? a month? 6 months?) and the critical steps in the process. Decide your boundaries and be ready to decide the number of hours you are willing to dedicate to interviewing for this role.

​Remember, you are interviewing them, too. Make no assumptions. Don't get so excited that they keep wanting to talk with you that you keep going, not knowing how many hoops there are to jump through.​

In addition to talking to different interviewers on multiple occasions, the company wanted to see instructional design work samples from me. I emailed work samples and reviewed them with a subject matter expert who was well-versed in adult education and instructional design. They complimented me on the trainer guide, videos, and job aids I had created. They told me they were impressed with my work and learned from what I told them. At this point, they told me the next step was for me to meet with the company founder. 

Lessons Learned: Have a portfolio online that people can access, or let people know that you are happy to review work samples (and your process) with them in an in-person or Zoom meeting. I keep my work samples online with a note that these are intended to showcase my work and that they are not to be downloaded and distributed.

I was excited to meet the company founder, who was also a published author. In preparation,  I bought and read their most recent book, researched their accomplishments, read their blog articles, and reviewed their body of work. During the interview, we had a great conversation, which included a lot of “when we work together” and “next steps” language. 

This meeting was followed by multiple Zoom meetings with different stakeholders (again, one at a time) explaining the next steps in this process—which they called an “in-box experience.” During this phase, I would come into their office and work for a half day. I would have a chance to interact with multiple people I would work with, including consultants and a client. This would require me to sign a non-disclosure agreement, work on a project for an actual client, and present information to a client.  

Lessons Learned: No matter how many interviews you have, or how much they seem to like you, remember you do not have the job until they have made you an offer and you have come to an agreement about your compensation. Remember that the goal of this process is that the employer decides if they want to work with you, and you decide if you want to work with them. Looking back, I'm frustrated with myself that I invested SO MUCH TIME with this potential employer without talking about salary expectations.

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving, at 8:00 am, I arrived at the company's downtown office location for my in-box experience. I brought my computer and the work I had done so far. (BTW--there was a project and pre-work that I did, which took way too long. Holy time suck.) I was told that I needed to use their computer for my work that day.

During the four hours that I was there working (for free) for them, I had an in-person panel interview with people I had talked with via phone, interviewed via Zoom with a consultant, ran a project meeting, completed work on instructional materials for a client, and got feedback on my performance along the way.  I had a final conversation with one of the decision-makers before ending my day. I was told I'd hear back early the following week. 

Lessons Learned: Determine ahead of time how much you are willing to do for a role, and when to call it. Remember, you're interviewing them, too. And, for the love of God, don't do a ton of unpaid labor for a business that is not paying you for your work product.

In the middle of the following week, I got a call. It was very brief. Thanks for my time, but they had decided not to proceed with me as a candidate. If I like, though, they would be willing to add me to their possible consultant database for future contract work. 

​Lesson Learned: Never again. In short, I spent about 45 hours total, including about 15 hours of unpaid work that I did for the company, to end up with no job offer. Time to transition all of these lessons learned into new personal guidelines.

Remember the boundary setting I mentioned before? Here's where we revisit it. After going through this process (and getting mad all over again while writing this article), I am reminded of the outcome of those lessons learned for me.

• Ask about the hiring process in the initial phone screen. Ask about timelines and next steps. 
• Sometime during the interview process, have an initial conversation about salary and benefits. Let the organization know that it's to make sure their benefits and total compensation is aligned with my expectations. End the process early on if they are significantly out of line, or at least manage expectations on next steps. 
• Evaluate my feeling about the role and organization at each step in the process. Be ready to withdraw from the process as needed. Be polite when communicating my desire to not continue with the hiring process. 
• If the idea of doing work as part of the hiring process comes up, discuss the details and time commitments involved. Offer to review my work samples with them and spend up to 2 hours showcasing my skills. Set expectations that beyond that, my time is valuable and billable. 

Even in cases where I was actively looking for a new role, a certain amount of anger goes along with a layoff. I was angry learning about the people who didn’t get laid off (like that guy whose messes I’ve been cleaning up for the last year) and comparing my perceived value to theirs.

​I’ve been angry at the timing (right after vacation, right before a holiday) and how that makes finding something new an even longer process. I’ve been mad that yesterday’s mission-critical work-all-night project has become irrelevant. But, mostly, I’ve been mad that someone else decided when I didn’t get to do that job anymore instead of me getting to choose when it was time for me to move on. Feeling that lack of control is often the most challenging part.

Exiting a job abruptly leaves a big hole in your life, starting with the 9+ hours per workday being replaced with dead air and uncertainty. People who earlier that day were coworkers, casual work friendships, or confidants now may be nothing at all now that you no longer share an employer.  

​The consistency of a morning routine, daily commute, and regularly scheduled meetings are replaced with a battle with the unknown that may last a week or a year. Sometimes it’s easy to be hopeful about the future, and other times it’s hard not to be mired in sadness about all the things you can’t control.

There is plenty to be afraid of. First, the idea of not having a paycheck is horrifying. Not knowing how long your final payout or severance check has to last is unnerving. Now knowing how long your jobless period will last and what job you’ll end up with is sometimes unbearable.

​I fear being unemployed endlessly and not being able to support myself. I worry about panicking and taking the first job offered to me. I worry about holding out for something closer to the “perfect” job that may never come. I fear that I will never get a job as good as the one I had. On the worst days, when fear has given way to full-on catastrophizing, I worry that I will lose my house, car, professional reputation, and everyone I’ve ever loved.

Here's the one that might seem unexpected. At one point, during an ongoing economic downturn, I made it until the seventh round of company layoffs. While I was happy to be employed that long, each time we heard rumblings about reorganizations or started seeing those empty white dots pop up on Microsoft Teams, I had that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach waiting for it to be me.

The strange benefit of finally being laid off is that you don't have to worry if it will happen (and when) because it just happened. At that moment, you also realize it's not as bad as you imagined it might be, and now what there is to do is pick yourself up and create your fantastic new future. 

Through the tumult of emotions, it’s important to acknowledge each one and process those feelings. It’s helpful to grieve, then focus on all the possibilities to come.