By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

Some days will be amazing. Within a half hour of waking up, you receive an invitation to do a phone screen, notice another hiring manager accepted your LinkedIn connection request, and receive a message from a recruiter for a role that looks promising. Everything is going great for you. Hearing that good news fills you with hope about the future. You feel appreciated, valued, and worthwhile.

​Soon, you’re updating your budget, making that overdue phone call, and cleaning your whole kitchen. You use that extra burst of energy to start preparing for tomorrow’s phone screen. Today, you are productivity personified.

Then there are the other days. You check your email and read, “We will not be moving forward with your application,” then move on to “We regret to inform you,” then finish up with, “This position is no longer available.” You’re not even out of bed, and you already heard you weren’t good enough for three jobs you really wanted.

Now, all that good news from the previous day seems irrelevant. Your email has become a scary place where everyone is mean. You hop onto LinkedIn to look for new jobs. While looking at job listings, you fixate on the one or two preferred qualifications you don’t have. You start to customize a resume for one job, then stare at your screen, trying to figure out why anyone would bother hiring you. Now, you're not going to have it in you to be a high achiever. 

After a three-rejection morning, you may feel like a failure, and everything is hopeless. Despite how it feels right then, you are not lazy, a loser, or a failure. Instead, you have probably been going too hard for too long and have little to show for it yet. 

In addition, you have probably been relying on the overly simplistic getting-things-done strategies people often bluster about. If your only plan for success involves hammering away, powering through, or pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, you will have problems. It’s an excellent time to remind yourself that bucking/soldiering/cowboying up is not a long-term sustainable strategy. It is a short-term fix you can use occasionally when you have no other options. Making that once-in-a-while solution your go-to move will leave you irritable, burned out, and feeling like the failure you most certainly are not.

Yes, you are trying to find a job. Yes, you are trying to keep your finances in check. You also need to be able to continue to keep going sustainably so you can persevere as long as your career transition requires. You won’t be able to push yourself beyond your limits consistently for very long. Given that many job searches last between a few weeks and several months, you will need to find a way to sustain the effort you’ll need to achieve your job search goals. 

There is an art to writing a helpful task list. This basic self-care list includes items that are valuable, easy to achieve, and can be checked off definitely. You can also update these lists to reflect what makes the most sense to you in your life. This is not your "I have accomplished miracles" list. Instead, this is your "I did the basic things I need to stay well so I can prioritize to keep going" list. 

Morning

• Brush teeth.
• Take vitamins/medication.
• Shower.
• Drink a glass of water.

Afternoon

• Eat lunch, including a fruit or vegetable.
• Drink a glass of water.
• Move for 30 minutes.
• Go outside for 10 minutes.

Evening

• Eat dinner, including a fruit or vegetable. 
• Drink a glass of water.
• Stretch for 10 minutes.
• Brush your teeth.

This is a good starting point for a basic self-care list. If moving for 30 minutes is too much for you right now, make it 10. If making your bed helps you feel better, consider adding that to your morning list. If you do a load of laundry daily and put it away, fit that in where it makes sense. If you take your vitamins before bed, do that.

​Do what you need to to do make it yours. This basic self-care list will help you feel better on your hardest days. On an easier day, you'll breeze through these items with no problem and move on to conquering the world.

By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

Life is challenging when nothing in particular is happening. When you're going through a job change (especially one you didn't plan), it's even harder. While I'm a fan of self-reliance, I also know the value of finding people who want to support you and letting them do it. You're not weak for needing people. You are smart for planning ahead for what you will need.

I have been through a post-layoff job transition 7 times, and it is difficult each and every time. There is the fear that it will just never end, and you'll be drifting for eternity trying to find paid work where you can pay your bills--much less in a job you want. You worry that you'll have to settle for something that may be even worse than the worst job you've ever had. You also worry that you'll run out of money and not be able to pay your bills and lose everything you own and everyone you've ever loved. While your rational mind knows this is all pretty unlikely, there will be moments when everything seems hopeless. That's where your support network comes in. 

No matter how resilient and downright badass you are, doing this alone makes it way harder. 

As an extra added bonus, people want to help you! I'm always inspired by all the people who came out of the woodwork to check on me, told me about an open position, thanked me for helping them once upon a time, or offered to refer me for a role. Everyone has struggled with something at one time or another, and someone has helped them. Let other people help you. 

It also takes a village to get you through a career transition. Relying on one person for everything is all kinds of stressful. Know that people want to help, and it's a matter of figuring out what you need, letting people know, and reaching out to people as needed. Going through a job search is challenging, even in the best of circumstances.

Here's a starter list of the types of help you may need during your job transition. More specifically, here is some of what I needed. Use this as a starting point and add details as it helps you:
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• ​Emotional Support: You'll have all the feelings. Figure out who you can talk to about what. Sometimes you'll laugh, sometimes you'll cry, sometimes you'll vent, and on the most trying days, maybe all of the above. 
• Communication: Just telling people what is up can be draining--because people. Realize, too, that your telling them about your situation may result in them inadvertently trying to allay their fears that the same thing will happen to them. Find a friend who can help you spread whatever news there is to convey. Telephone. Telegraph. Tell a Karla. Find those people who love to connect with others (and even share some of the same social circles) and enlist their help.  
• Sounding Board: When you're making big decisions--or doing something you don't do very often, having someone to talk things through will is mission critical. Personally, I don't even always need my sounding board people to say much--just to sit there and listen (or at least just not talk over me) as I talk myself into or out of the idea I'm considering. There is so much value to writing or talking through ideas as you choose your next steps.
• Logistical Support: Sometimes, you'll need a hand figuring things out. Maybe it's having someone to watch your kids for a bit so you can have a phone interview. Perhaps it's help with a ride if you're having car trouble. Whatever it is, it may seem small to them, but it'll solve a problem for you. 
• Fun: There will be many, many times when you just need a distraction. Watching a movie. Having coffee. Talking about non-job search related things. Having a conversation where you don't have to be "on" and can just chat with someone. It doesn't have to be elaborate. It just has to be a welcome break from all those "shoulds" to be something other than a job-searching human.
• Cheerleader: You also need someone to give you a pep talk. Whether it's someone who'll send you a quick "You've got this!" text or someone to remind you to take a deep breath and tell them your remarkable story, remember that encouragement is essential. They can also help you celebrate successes and remind you of your innate value when you're struggling.
• Accountability: You'll also need someone to help you keep on track. It may be as easy as them asking if you applied for that job you talked about. Or asking you if you updated your resume like you said you would do.­­­ Create the positive peer pressure to help you follow through on what you need to do.
• New Ideas: There is a certain amount of trial and error when looking for a new job. Whether it's optimizing LinkedIn, figuring out how to network with new people, finding the best way to position your work experience, or where to find jobs, there's a lot to learn. Whether you tap into someone who works in that industry, or a hiring manager, or a resume writer, figuring out how to be a more effective job searcher is useful. 
• Connectors: Each of us has people in our lives who seem to know all the things and/or all the people. Let them help you connect with the right person, opportunity, or idea at the right time.

When it comes to help, I start with my inner circle--close friends and family. I'm also sure to widen my support team beyond them, too.

I also move beyond that immediate group. I interact with my LinkedIn connections. I tap into online groups including job search groups, The White Box Club, and even LinkedIn groups focusing on networking or a content area (like sales enablement).

I interact with in-person membership groups like ATD or the Omaha OD Network. Or I seek out non-work connections through social Meetup groups or activities. Sometimes, I just spend time in coffee shops to indirectly interact with other people. It's a matter of figuring out what you need and finding a person to help.

Know, too, that there will be times when you need to straight up reach out to someone because you need help. Each person will have their areas of interest and expertise, so be sure to keep that in mind when asking for help.

It's helpful to consider who you might contact for different needs. Here are a few cases when I was job searching and I reached out to people to ask for help:
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• Before a job interview, I would text my daughter to let her know I had an interview. She woudl then text back encouraging words and follow up afterwards to see how it all went. 
• If I need non-job search social interaction, I'd reach out to my former "lunch ladies" coworkers with a link to my Calendly and ask if they're up for a catch-up conversation (then they would pick a time for us to chat.)
• If was having a rough day, I'll reach out to my best friend to talk a bit. 
• If was unsure if my resume was clear, I'll contact a former coworker to give it a look and make suggestions on what I could do better.
• If I wanted to talk shop but not directly job searching, I'd contact a LinkedIn connection I hadn't chatted with in a while and see if they were up for a virtual coffee meeting. I got to have a fulfilling interaction with another person and glean a few professional insights, too. 

By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

Many people equate productivity with making progress on a task list. When you're going through a trying time, everything can feel harder. Whether you are navigating family drama, work burnout, or a post-layoff job search, there will be times when you can't just "buckle down" and get things done--no matter how efficient your to-do list is. Managing your energy levels, not just your ever-growing task list is the key to making progress. 

As you think about how to spend your time, learn about yourself and when you will be the most productive and happiest with each activity. I interact with LinkedIn posts during my first cup of coffee, enjoy afternoon walks, and do yoga at night before bed. There are no absolute right or wrong times for many things, just ones that are a better fit for you. 

Take time to reflect on your most and least productive times. Use these questions as a starting point: 
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• Are you a morning person, a night person, or somewhere in between?
• What time of day do you seem to get the most done?
• Do you think about something for a while before doing it, or do you jump right in?
• What tasks take you very little time? What tasks seem to take a long time?
• Do you prefer to work on the same task for while? Or do you prefer switching between tasks regularly? 
• How much structured time do you need? How much unstructured time do you need?

​Remember, there are no right or wrong answers, just what is true for you.

In addition, reflect on the following factors and their impact on your energy levels:

• ​How do you feel when you have too much or too little social contact?
• How do you feel when you have too much or too little time at home? 
• How do you feel when you have too many or too few new experiences?
• How do you feel when you have too much or too little routine?

​Remember, there are no right or wrong answers, just what is true for you.​

Based on your responses to those questions, you may have identified factors that energize you and those that deplete you. 

• For me, I am energized by having enough alone time, having time to think about a task before doing it, and having a balance of unstructured and structured time. 
• I also know that I am depleted when I have too much structured time, too little time at home, and too many new experiences all at once. 

Knowing these things about myself helps me know how to organize my time to maximize my energy.  Letting family and friends know what I need also helps them understand and support me as I work towards my goals. 

After you identify your energy depleters, here are a few steps you can take to build your energy:

• Basic self-care: eating, drinking water, showering, walking outside, breathing deeply, and stretching can help make you feel better almost immediately. 
• Accomplishing something: sending an email, making a phone call, paying a bill, or wiping down your kitchen counters will help you feel like you made even the most minor contribution to the world today. There is something inherently satisfying about crossing one task off of your list.
• Changing it up: taking breaks, going to a different grocery store, walking in a new place, driving a different route as you run errands, working from your kitchen table, or doing whatever you can to add newness to your daily routine.
• Recovering: sleeping, walking in nature, watching a movie you’ve seen before, reflecting on your day, playing games, journaling, and meditating are all great ways to heal.

When I identify my energy patterns and take steps to recover when needed, I have more capacity. Having my energy in a good place helps me accomplish more in less time. Then, I can leverage my to-do lists and make real progress towards my goals.

By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

Searching for a new role is a rough process riddled with rejection, which is never pleasant.

If you're in a post-layoff career transition, It starts with your former employer kicking you out of the whole company and, in essence, saying, “You are no longer one of us.” At every step of the way, you’ll experience people telling you no in a variety of ways--and it hits hard since you're navigating so much uncertainty and so many life changes. 

Even if you are currently employed, job searching and the associated rejection is still no picnic. You're also dealing with the uncertainty of knowing how long it will take to find something new and the challenge of doing passable work at your current job while not knowing how long you'll be in limbo. 

Here is how that rejection may look.

Because of all of the uncertainty and rejection, this whole process can be a lot to bear. It’s hard to keep going when there are obstacles at every turn. Sometimes, even well-intentioned people who are genuinely trying to be supportive ask just the wrong question and make you feel even worse. 

It is paramount that you experience your emotions, then manage your mindset so you don’t let your feelings make the already complicated process of finding a new job even harder.

Here are a few ideas to help you work through the unpleasant emotions that will pop up during your quest for a new role. 

Befriend your feelings. Don’t pretend that you don’t feel how you do. Name them, acknowledge them, and then move on. Pretending those unpleasant feelings don’t exist will not make them disappear. Instead, it may silence them for a bit, but they will pop up later, usually at the worst possible time. Acknowledging each one will help them run their course–and also help you to increase your ability to manage the ups and downs of this process.

It’s impossible to will yourself into feeling better. Sometimes, you need to just sit with an uncomfortable feeling for a while and let it run its course. Cry a little. Rewatch your favorite movie for the bijillionth time. Have a little ice cream. Do a puzzle. Take a walk. Take the afternoon off from your to-do list. Some will run their course more quickly than others. 

​If you’re worried about something, researching answers and managing your expectations often helps. How many job applications does it typically take to get an interview? How long does it take most people to find a new role post-layoff? Which companies are hiring? You'll probably feel a little better by researching options, clarifying goals, and taking useful action.

​Even if you don’t find a complete solution, you at least know more. Having added knowledge will help you worry less or at least direct your worry toward taking productive action that will help you solve a problem.

Social media, specifically LinkedIn, can be a great job search tool. Unfortunately, it can also give you the illusion that everyone else is doing great and you are downright hopeless. Posts like “It only took me a week to find my dream job,” or "I just got an awesome job (aka the one you were interviewing for)," “I’m still employed but I feel SO BAD for my former coworkers who are jobless,” or “Every company ever is doing more layoffs (which means more competition for each job)” will only make you feel worse. Remind yourself that social media isn’t real life and disengage. 

When everything feels hard, taking care of yourself needs to be your top priority. Here are a few quick and easy ideas to make you feel almost instantly better: 

• Breathe.
• Drink water. 
• Eat regularly.
• Rest.
• Shower.
• Take a break.
• Move your body.
• Go outside.

By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

Beginnings and endings often make us think. When relationships, jobs, or projects end, we often reflect on recent events and our desired future state. Taking time to reflect on what went well, areas for improvement, and lessons learned can give us clarity on what matters to us and how to set goals that help us achieve what is most important to us.

It’s human nature to want to keep the past in the past and move boldly into the future. Consequently, we often skip over self-reflection that could help us learn from the past, select the right goals, and identify the why that will help us succeed. We may also want to skip self-reflection to avoid dealing with unpleasant truths or uncomfortable emotions. While pausing to reflect can be hard, it can help prevent you from patterns of behavior that keep you stuck.
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Let’s look at a straightforward self-reflection activity that can help you select the right goals and make the progress you want.

I use Gallup’s Five Elements of Wellbeing model as a starting point. This model identifies and labels five important areas that work together to form our overall wellbeing:

• Career Wellbeing: You like what you do every day.
• Social Wellbeing: You have meaningful friendships in your life.
• Financial Wellbeing: You manage your money well.
• Physical Wellbeing: You have energy to get things done.
• Community Wellbeing: You like where you live.

In short, if you’re struggling in one area of wellbeing, it will harm your overall wellbeing. By reflecting on each area, you will start to see connections between the different areas, how the areas impact one another, and how you could make positive changes to improve your overall wellbeing. 

​Use these questions to reflect on each of those five elements of wellbeing:

• In a sentence or two, what does _______ wellbeing mean to you?
• On a scale of 1-5, with 5 being the best, how would you rate your current satisfaction with your ______ wellbeing?
• Over the past few months, list one thing that positively affected your _____ wellbeing.
• Over the past few months, list one thing that may have negatively affected your _____ wellbeing.
• List one way you could improve your ____ wellbeing. 

Here's an example of what this reflection might look like as you think about community wellbeing:

• In a sentence or two, what does community wellbeing mean to you?
  For me, community wellbeing is about being a part of different groups of people that matter to me. That includes relationships with co-workers, professional colleagues, neighbors, and people with similar interests.
  
  
• On a scale of 1-5, with 5 being the best, how would you rate your current satisfaction with your community wellbeing?
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• Over the past few months, list one thing that positively affected your community wellbeing.
  I took on a volunteer role within one professional development group.
  
  
• Over the past few months, list one thing that may have negatively affected your community wellbeing.
  When work was hectic, I had less time to dedicate to that volunteer role. 
  
  
• How have the other areas of wellbeing impacted your satisfaction with this area of wellbeing?
  When I was part of a big work project, it required more of my energy than usual. This left me with less energy for social interactions, and I felt stressed out because of work and my community involvement.
  
  
• List one way you could improve your community wellbeing.
  ​Looking at my calendar and making sure I proactively manage my time can help me not overcommit myself to do too many community activities when I have other commitments.
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After reflecting separately on each element of wellbeing, ask yourself the following question about your overall wellbeing:

​Based on your reflection on each element of wellbeing, which area do you want to focus on?​

By going through this activity and evaluating your lived experiences through the lens of each area of wellbeging, you may notice trends. For example:

• You may notice that not having enough energy is a common theme, which may prompt you to focus on areas of your physical wellbeing like getting more sleep, healthier eating, or addressing emotional/mental health concerns. 
• You may notice that your job satisfaction is not where it should be and that you need to focus on your career wellbeing like figuring out your longer term career aspirations, having a conversation about your work future, or considering other employment options. 

Use what you learn from your reflection to inform how you focus your attention and what goals you set.

Do you factor your wellbeing into your overall goal setting? How do you do that? Include your thoughts in the comments.

It starts like any other day. Then, it takes an ominous turn. 
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Whether you were invited to an ambiguously titled last minute meeting, received an awkward message in your personal email notifying you of your last day, or are perp walked to HR on your first day back from vacation, you are now among the newly unemployed. 

​Welcome to the suck.

Even if there were buyout rumors, a quarter with low sales, or a new company direction, being part of a reduction in force (RIF) is still surreal when it happens to you. It's hard to know what to do with yourself when you find yourself unexpectedly out of the job. It's time to redirect your attention.

Along with your new focus areas, your overall guiding principle is not to do anything counterproductive (or downright dumb) as you figure out your post-layoff next steps.

Your Never-Do List

Here are the career-limiting moves that will make your life harder. Instead of springing into action, stop, think, and then just don't do the following:

• Talk trash about your former employer or layoff publicly.
• Spew your unfiltered anger, sadness, fear, or hurt all over the interwebs.
• Post on social media about how desperate you are for paid work.
• Apply for all the jobs motivated solely by panic.
• Take any old job.

Your Think-Before-You-Consider-Doing List 

Here are a few things you may want to do at some point, but that require thought and a plan before you move forward. At the very least, sleep on it before you do any of the following:

• Contact recruiters, hiring managers, or colleagues about job openings before thinking about what you really want to do next.
• Make big life decisions with long-term consequences (like a cross-country move, selling your house, or getting rid of your car).
• Act on anyone else's advice without thinking about what is right for you (including a cross-country move, selling your house, or getting rid of your car).

Now that you are at least somewhat inoculated against creating utter chaos for yourself, let's get back to those top three focus areas. 

Losing your job can be an emotional roller coaster. An unplanned job change is a stressful life event on par with getting divorced or going to prison. ​Just like dealing with a death in the family, you’re dealing with the death of the future you thought you had. Losing that imagined future is a significant loss that needs to be addressed.
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Figure out how you will cope with these changes. While distracting yourself from the unpleasant parts of the process is natural, building healthier coping mechanisms, like prioritizing self-care, is better for your long-term success.  

While you can get away with avoiding your feelings for a while, eventually, you need to acknowledge each one so you can move on. If you don’t work through those difficult emotions, your ignored feelings will come out sideways at just the wrong time. It is better to work through your grief privately than to fall apart during an interview or snap at someone who is trying to help you.

Disclaimer: 

While I know quite a bit based on my previous work experience supporting financial coaches, my own research, and my personal life experiences, I do not currently hold a license or certification to give financial advice. Therefore, the information provided here is educational information provided as guidance.

I hope you can glean value from my lessons learned. Feel free to take my recommendations or not—but whatever you do, double-check my information (and everyone's facts, for that matter). This is your life, and you will care more about your finances and health care than anyone else. With that, read on. 

Although your paychecks will eventually stop, you will receive your final paycheck, possibly vacation time that you have earned and, hopefully, a lovely parting gift from your former employer in the form of a severance package. Severance could be equivalent to a set number of weeks of pay or include an additional lump sum, continuation of some benefits, and job placement services. In most cases, employers do not have to give you any type of severance.

If you are eligible for a severance package, you will need to sign something before receiving that money. Once you sign, any thoughts you might have about legal action regarding your employment with the organization are pretty much over. Read the agreement given to you, consider having a lawyer look it over, and ask for clarifications (and any revisions) before signing it. After that, there is typically a waiting period before you receive that money. I also encourage you not just to sign whatever paper they put in front of you. Make sure you advocate for yourself. 

After a layoff, most people will be eligible for unemployment insurance income, or UI. I encourage you to apply for unemployment payments. The money used to make unemployment payments comes from the payroll taxes that employers pay. That money is intended to help people who have been laid off to pay their bills as they search for something new.

Unemployment payments are administered at the state level and vary by state. After you apply, there may be a waiting period before you receive a payment. Your state will also outline the amount of each payment you will receive, the number of payments you are eligible to receive, and additional factors impacting your payments. You may also qualify for job search support services and even programs to help you upgrade your skills. 
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In short, apply for unemployment income right away. In most cases, there is not a good reason for most people to forgo unemployment payments. 

​Since many people rely on their employers for health insurance coverage, consider how you’ll cover healthcare costs. If you have a  spouse, domestic partner, or parent who can bring you onto their health insurance, that may be your best option. Check with the other person’s employer and let them know you no longer have health insurance through your employer because of a layoff. Their employer can talk you through your next steps and cost changes.  

If that's not an option, consider COBRA coverage through your former employer. This means you could stay with your previous health insurance, but now you'd pay the whole premium cost. Brace yourself when you see your new premium amount because it is usually A LOT more than you spent as an employee.

Another option is going on the insurance exchanges at Healthcare.gov to find coverage. You may even be eligible for a subsidy to offset the cost. Alternatively, for less expensive coverage intended to cover a big expensive medical issue should it happen, short-term health care insurance may be a good interim option. Do your research and determine what makes the most sense for you and your household.

Next, plan to launch your search for a new job. Start by thinking about what kind of job you want. Write down job titles, possible employers, and your target salary range. Update your resume to include details about your last position and showcase your unique skillset as it aligns with your target job.

From here, start letting people know your new status of being “in transition” and ask for help. They might be able to introduce you to a valuable business contact, keep an eye out for job openings that meet your needs, and introduce you to a hiring manager looking for someone just like you.

If you've recently been laid off, check out my book Seven Lessons From Seven Layoffs: A Guide. You can even buy the eBook to get help right now.
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In this book, I cover seven lessons from my seven experiences with unplanned job losses. I include my personal stories alongside practical advice for navigating this tumultuous time. 
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You'll learn strategies for managing your mindset, finding the next right job for you, shaping your career story, and overcoming setbacks.

by Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

Of my seven total layoffs, three began with my role being eliminated in the fall and ended with me starting a new job well into the new year. Being in a career transition always has rough patches. Being in a career transition during the holidays—especially the week before Christmas through the first full work week of January—is soul-sucking.

I’ve read several articles touting the benefits of job searching during the holidays--and I mean a lot, a lot of them. (No one else will be applying! You’ll get a leg up on other applicants! Tons of people are trying to fill positions before the year's end!) 

I'm sure somebody somewhere found the role of a lifetime the day after Christmas interviewing with the one HR rep who was out of vacation and stuck working. I am not that person. I'm also not going to make the mistake of trying to be that person ever again.

Not even considering each organization's busy season, making progress on finding a new job in December is challenging. In addition to whatever year-end tasks need to happen, people are also focusing on holiday parties and family commitments, and sometimes using their vacation so they don't lose it. Consequently, focusing on getting people through the hiring process ranks lower on the priority list. 

Here is my advice to job seekers at the end of the year. Take a break from pounding pavement on your job search, and just breathe. Stop applying for a week or two. This break will do you good. 

Instead, take some time for you. Go do a few things you enjoy but don't always get to while you are gainfully employed. Go to a noon yoga class. Get together with friends for lunch. Read a novel with no obvious professional development benefit. Go to a matinee. Visit a museum. Call a friend and talk on the phone. Take a road trip. Walk around the mall on a weekday. Buy fancy coffee in a café and people watch. Whatever it is, do some things that bring you joy.

Just like we all need vacation time to recuperate from our day jobs and be able to do good work, we also need to take a break from a job search so we can have the mental space to regroup. If you want to do something for your job search, revisit what you want in a new role and ensure your goals are still the right ones. Then, you can move forward and have more success in the new year.

By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

When life is run-of-the-mill, it’s still hard to accomplish essential tasks on your to-do list. Losing your job upends your life and gives you a whole new set of challenges. These include uncertainty about the future, new complexities in your financial life, and general worry about how long it might take for things to get back to “normal.” You are now entering a challenging phase in your life where you will experience more rejection in a shorter period of time than ever before. All these factors will inhibit your ability to progress on your goals. 

Some days will be amazing. Within a half hour of waking up, you get a phone screen invite, notice a hiring manager accepted your LinkedIn connection request, and read a message from a recruiter for a role that looks promising. Hearing good news fills you with hope and boosts your energy. Soon, you’re updating your budget, making that overdue phone call, and cleaning your whole kitchen. You use that extra burst of energy to start preparing for tomorrow’s phone screen. On that very good day, you may even check a few extra things off your to-do list.
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Then there will be other days. Before you’ve had your first cup of coffee, you’ll check your email and find a “we’re moving forward with other candidates” message after a “the position has been filled” followed by a “this position has been put on hold indefinitely” message. After a triple dose of rejection, the rest of the day’s planned activities may fall by the wayside. 

You have probably been relying on the overly simplistic getting-things-done strategies people often bluster about. If your only plan for success involves hammering away, powering through, or pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, you will have problems. It’s an excellent time to remind yourself that bucking/soldiering/cowboying up is not a long-term sustainable strategy. It is a short-term fix you can use occasionally when you have no other options. Making that once-in-a-while solution your go-to move will leave you irritable, burned out, and feeling like the failure you most certainly are not.
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To find the right new job for you, even the best to-do list won’t ensure success all by itself. You won’t be able to push yourself beyond your limits consistently for very long. Given that many job searches last between a few weeks and several months, you will need to find a way to sustain the effort you’ll need to achieve your job search goals. 

When I’m in career transition, I spend a lot of time writing, applying for jobs, and interacting on LinkedIn. I also tend to rewatch tv shows and movies. Conventional time management would say that I’m wasting a good chunk of my life watching fictional people live theirs and that I should spend that wasted time on the higher-value items on my to-do lists.

​In reality, it is not feasible to be hyper-productivey all the time. Achieving at a high level requires preparation and adequate recovery time. That means if I have two video interviews in one day, I will appear to be doing a lot of nothing for those hours right afterward. The only way I can knock those interviews out of the park is by managing my energy well. 

Remember, it’s not just about tallying up those hours and having a brag-worthy number. Instead, work with your energy levels, balance planning and doing, and align your activities with your peak productivity times. 
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Prioritizing self care, so you have enough energy to perservere, is a great first step.

Whether you're gainfully employed but looking for the next right opportunity for you, or you're in career transition, job searching is hard. Here are three unfortunate job searching truths that can help you manage your mindset and emotions as you work through the ups and downs of this process. 

When you're a hiring manager, you have a ton going on, and only one of those things is hiring a new person. You're still trying to manage your team, meet deadlines, troubleshoot customer problems, and juggle all the people you're considering for your open position. In an interview, when one candidate asks about the hiring process, you tell them you should know who will move on to the next steps in the process "by the end of this week"--and at the time, you believe that is a reasonable deadline. Then there is a software release with a bug that causes three meetings to be scheduled with big clients, or someone ends up out on sick leave unexpectedly, or your child has to be picked up from daycare with the flu. Friday comes and goes, and getting in touch with a candidate falls off your radar until the next week. 

Meanwhile, as a job seeker, you put a note on your calendar that you'll know one way or another by Friday. Then you analyze every syllable you uttered in the interview, hoping you didn't say anything awful. You rethink a facial expression you interpreted as approving and wonder if it really was that at all. You suffer through Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, secretly worrying that you will never find another job. Ever. 

Instead of spiraling, take action to get you closer to your goals.
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After the interview, email the hiring manager a thank you message and consider sending them a LinkedIn connection request. Put a note on your calendar for a few days after the hiring manager said they would contact you. Reach out to them at that time, including a few pleasantries, reiterating your interest in the role, and asking for an update.

Will you get the job? It's hard to tell. Either way, you did your part. Remind yourself that you won't get every job you apply for, and reflect to see what you can learn from it. At the very least, pat yourself on the back that you didn't over-follow up (which is often worse than not following up at all), and be sure to focus on more than one job opportunity at a time.

In addition, network with three more people and apply for three more jobs.

Inevitably as a job searcher, you run across it. THE job. It's the one you know is meant to be yours. It's perfect--easy commute, a great title, the go-to company, exactly what you are qualified (and want) to do. In your head, you think--this is MY job. You picture your new business cards, where you'll park, and how you'll introduce yourself as the "Director of Awesomeness" for this perfect company. If you're still working, you may be dreaming about the day you hand in your notice--or get excited knowing you won't have to finish a dreaded project because you'll be elsewhere. You think--why should I even bother applying for anything else because this one is SO my job!

Except, well, it's not actually your job yet. You're looking at it and seeing yourself in it, but it's not real. You don't work there. No one is sending you a paycheck for it. They don't even know your name yet. You may very well still work at your company in a few months when the project you're not excited about is due. While this MAY be the job you eventually get, it's not a done deal yet.

You know what else? It may not end up being your job. Apply for that job--even work hard to get it. Know, though, that you may end up not even getting called in for an interview. This doesn't mean you're not still an amazing professional with valuable qualifications. Remember, there are always many things going on when companies hire. There may be an internal candidate, a previous coworker of the hiring manager, someone who has a referral from a college friend, or someone who has even slightly more of a qualification that didn't make that job posting. 

When you're a hiring manager, you have a ton going on, and only one of those things is hiring a new person. You're still trying to manage your team, meet deadlines, troubleshoot customer problems, and juggle all the people you're considering for your open position. In an interview, when one candidate asks about the hiring process, you tell them you should know who will move on to the next steps in the process "by the end of this week"--and at the time, you believe that is a reasonable deadline. Then there is a software release with a bug that causes three meetings to be scheduled with big clients, someone unexpectedly ends up on sick leave, or your child has to be picked up from daycare with the flu. Friday comes and goes, and getting in touch with a candidate falls off your radar until the next week. 

Meanwhile, as a job seeker, you put a note on your calendar that you'll know one way or another by Friday. Then you analyze every syllable you uttered in the interview, hoping you didn't say anything awful. You rethink a facial expression you interpreted as approving and wonder if it really was that at all. You suffer through Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, secretly worrying that you will never find another job. Ever. 

Instead of spiraling, take action to get you closer to your goals.

After the interview, email the hiring manager a thank you message and consider sending them a LinkedIn connection request. Put a note on your calendar for a few days after the hiring manager said they would contact you. Reach out to them then, including a few pleasantries, reiterating your interest in the role, and asking for an update.

Will you get the job? It's hard to tell. Either way, you did your part. Remember that you won't get every job you apply for and reflect to see what you can learn from it. At the very least, pat yourself on the back that you didn't over-follow up (which is often worse than not following up at all), and focus on more than one job opportunity at a time.

Whenever you fall in love with a job or think of something as "your job,” make an extra effort to apply for additional jobs--or at least game out what happens if you do not get the job. If the job you see yourself in works out, great. If not, you're still working towards your ultimate goal of finding a new role (complete with a paycheck), whichever one that might be. 

In addition, network with three more people and apply for three more jobs

Applying for jobs is a process. Looking back at my records, I have typically applied for between 40 and 100 jobs when I've been in career transition. It's easy to get discouraged. If you're working and looking for something else, you might be more selective in your applications and feel especially attached to an opening you see. Remember, not every personal referral, application, or interview will lead to an offer.

Again--sometimes you apply and hear back a fat lot of nothing. Sometimes, you might get a quick rejection from a job only to see it reposted a week later. In those cases, it can be hard to see that they don't even have a good candidate, but they know it's not going to be me. That one smarts.

It's also hard when you interview for a role multiple times only to hear that you didn't get the job. Even though they genuinely liked you, you didn't get it. Maybe you were a close second, perhaps they went with an internal candidate, or they ended up not filling the position. There is so much rejection in the job search process that you’ll inevitably feel sad and like maybe there is no hope for you finding the right next job for you.

Instead of spiraling, take action to get you closer to your goals. 

At the end of the day, though, you only need one job. You only need one organization to tell you “Yes.” You only need one place where you and the employer agree to work together. Sometimes, it's helpful to remind yourself that all those no answers get you to the one yes you need. The trick is that you don't know which one will be that yes. You have to keep on keeping on until you find it.

In addition, network with three more people and apply for three more jobs.

Whether due to an economic downturn, an acquisition, or a company reorganization, layoffs hapen all the time. Each person will experience a range of emotions when it happens to them. Even for someone who has gone through a layoff before, it is a tumultuous experience each and every time. Here is the good, the bad, and the ugly of the feelings people often experience surrounding an unplanned job loss.  

The phone call from HR, the perp walk through the office to the dreaded conference room, the last-minute ominous meeting invite, or the oddly timed tap on the shoulder all seem to come out of nowhere. There is something surreal about being pulled into a virtual or in-person room and having someone look you dead in the eye and tell you that you are going to go through a significant life change starting, well, now.
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Even if there were layoff rumors, news about leadership changes, or low sales reported for the quarter, it’s always a surprise on the date and time when layoffs go down. It’s the feeling of the ground being pulled out from under you. It’s the gap between expecting a full day of meetings and finding yourself in your car mid-morning with a white box.

Even if you were actively looking for a new role, a certain amount of anger goes along with a layoff. It could be frustrating learning about the people who didn’t get laid off (like that guy whose messes you've been cleaning up for the last year) and comparing your perceived value to theirs.

It could be irritation at the timing (right after vacation, right before a holiday) and how that makes finding something new an even longer process. It might be the insult to injury when you realize that yesterday’s mission-critical work-all-night project has become irrelevant. In many cases, it might just be the maddening nature of someone else deciding when you don't get to do that job anymore instead of you getting to choose when it was time. Feeling that lack of control can be the most challenging part.

Exiting a job abruptly leaves a big hole in your life, starting with a 9+ hour workday being replaced with dead air and uncertainty. People who earlier that day were coworkers, casual work friendships, or confidants now may be nothing at all now that you no longer share an employer.  

​The consistency of a morning routine, daily commute, and regularly scheduled meetings are replaced with a battle with the unknown that may last a week or a year. Sometimes, it’s easy to be hopeful about the future, and other times, it’s hard not to be mired in sadness about all the things you can’t control.

There is plenty to be afraid of. First, the idea of not having a paycheck is horrifying. Not knowing how long your severance check has to last is unnerving. Not having any idea how long your jobless period will last and what job you’ll end up with is sometimes unbearable.

​You may fear being unemployed endlessly and not being able to support yourself. You might worry about panicking and taking the first job offered to you. You could worry about holding out for something closer to the “perfect” job that may never come. You may even fear you will never get a job as good as the one you just had. On the worst days, when fear has given way to full-on catastrophizing, you could worry that you will lose your house, car, professional reputation, and everyone you've ever loved.

Here's the one that might seem unexpected. If you've been at a company and "made it" through multiple rounds of layoffs, you may be waiting for your luck to run out.  While you're certainly relieved to still be employed, each time you hear rumblings about reorganizations or start seeing those empty white dots pop up on Microsoft Teams, you may have had that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach waiting for it to be your turn.

The strange benefit of finally being laid off is that you don't have to worry if it will happen (and when) because it just happened. At that moment, you also realize it's not as bad as you imagined, and now what there is to do is pick yourself up and create your fantastic new future. 

Through the tumult of emotions, it’s important to acknowledge each one and process those feelings. From there, you can think about what is next for you and focuson your next steps toward the next right job for you.