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By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady Learning About YourselfWhether you’re considering making a career change, are currently in the midst of a job transition, or want to be more effective in your role, increasing your self-knowledge is a great place to start. It's hard to figure out what kind of work will be the best fit for you if you're not clear on who you are, the life you want, and the role work plays in that equation. A Good Starting Point: Values and StrengthsIn other articles here on The Layoff Lady, I’ve outlined ideas for exploring your values and discovering your strengths. Knowing more about what you truly value and what you are good at will help you think about the why, what, and how of the type of work you are driven to do. Reflecting on your findings will also help you have better conversations about your skillset and what motivates you personally and professionally. A Solid Next Step: Discovering Your Saboteurs It’s incredible how our strengths and values also show up when we are in challenging situations—often in good ways, but sometimes in more destructive ways. Learning about how you can get in your own way is a valuable strategy for making better decisions when you’re mid-crisis. Enter Shirzad Chamine. He is a professor, professional coach, and the author of the best-selling book Positive Intelligence. He introduces strategies for how to be mindful of what we know (IQ) our overall emotional intelligence (EQ), and how to leverage our positive intelligence (abbreviated as PQ). The end result is learning to be more effective and increase our overall. Nine Ways We Self SabotageHere arer the nine saboteurs outlind in Positive Intelligence listed in alphabetical order along with my brief description of each:
Yikes. We're certanly not our best selves when we show up this way. Let's look at how you can identify your saboteurs and use that information to improve how you show up. About The Assessment To Find Your Top SaboteursSet aside time to take the 9 Ways We Self Sabatoge Assessment from Positive Intelligence. The assessment takes 5-10 minutes to complete. In addition, I suggest giving yourself 30-45 minutes to review your results and reflect. This assessment consists of 45 questions. Each question includes of a statement, and you'll rate your agreement with that statement on a 5-point scale ranging from strongly agree to strongly disagree. The directions encourage you to answer each question relatively quickly and go with your initial response. The final 7 questions are about demographics and finding out where they will send your assessment results. Your Assessment ResultsThe results you receive include a ranking of your top sabateurs and your score for each. In addition, you will receive the following information about each of your saboteurs:
Reviewing Your ResultsI find these types of assessments fascinating. As someone who is committed to ongoing professional development, I appreciate getting insights that might be hard for someone else to share. These insights are valuable, and also help me understand why I do what I’m doing as well as helping me to recognize those non-helpful patterns so I can adjust my approach going forward. Not at all surprising to me, my top three saboteurs are as follows:
My Initial Reflections On My ResultsHere were my initial thoughts as I saw my top three identified saboteurs:
My Additional Reflections On My ResultsUnder Controller, here are a few statements resonated with me from the details included within my report:
Reflecting on Your Results
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By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady Interview Progression IssuesAfter you apply for a job, your goal is to be selected for an interview. That process usually includes an initial phone screen, one or more face-to-face interviews (virtual and/or in-person), then a job offer. As you progress in your job search, it's important to take time on a regular basis to evaluate what you are doing and see if you need to modify your approach. Let's look at possible ways to proceed if you are not receiving callbacks from employers for initial phone screens. No Initial Interview InvitationsI’ve seen variations on the following LinkedIn post way too many times: “I’ve applied for 300 jobs over the last six months, and I have only gotten a couple of interviews.” Realize you won’t get a phone screen for every job application you submit, but you should be getting some. If you apply for even 20 jobs and don’t hear anything back from any of them, it’s time to reassess and figure out what you need to change to have more success. As an applicant, the first challenge is getting out of the virtual pile of job applications and into the much more selective “we gotta talk to this one” pile. Taking these steps can help. Step 1: Identify Your Target JobOften, people who struggle with getting job interviews need to revisit what they want in a job and target their job search toward that goal. Unfortunately, while applying for as many jobs as possible seems logical, it often backfires. Instead, job seekers who identify what they really want, then apply for those roles more closely matching their interests and qualifications get hired sooner. Step 2: Realign Goals and MessagingAnother problem shared by people who struggle with job searching is not talking about what they want, their work experience, and their most relevant qualifications. Ensure your resume has a strong Professional Summary highlighting the type of role desired and your value to your target role. Step 3: Focus on Fewer ApplicationsHow many applications should you do in a given week? Applying for 300 jobs over six months (26 weeks) is an average of 11.5 applications per week. That is A LOT. When I’m job searching, my weekly goal is three applications per week, and I might submit as many as six per week if I see a few more role roles that look especially promising. By focusing on fewer job applications, I increase my quality instead of relying too heavily on quantity. Step 4: Customize your Resume for Each ApplicationWhen I decide to apply for a role, I take 15-30 minutes per application to customize my resume. Taking this extra time to update my language helps potential employers understand how my skill set aligns directly with what they are looking for in a candidate. Ensuring the right keywords are present for an Automated Tracking System (ATS) and for the recruiter who initially reviews each resume will give you a better chance of being selected for a phone screen. To make these updates efficiently and effectively, I focus on two sections: Professional Summary and Skills & Competencies. Check out the Learn More section for additional information on strategies for customizing your resume. Learn More
By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady A Time of ReflectionBeginnings and endings often make us think. When relationships, jobs, or projects end, we often reflect on recent events and our desired future state. Likewise, as we prepare to begin a new month, season, or year, we often set goals. Many times, we set big amorphous goals athat end up going nowhere fast. "Eat better," "get a better job," and "build my professional network" all sound fine, until you look back months later and realize that nothing much has changed. Sometimes we even write more specific goals like "eat a vegetable at every meal" or "make one new LinkedIn connection per week"--and even then they fall flat. Why is that? Turns out, it’s perhaps even more important to figure out what matters to you and why. This often skipped step is how we discover a deeper seated motivation, which can help us to actually make those goals into action and new habits. Where To Start: Your ValuesWhen you’re setting personal goals, and you want to make sure they stick, identifying your values is a great place to start. When thinking about the life you want to live, it's essential to start with what is truly important to you. Identifying those guiding principles will help you decide how you budget your money, how you want to spend your time, and what type of work is right for you. Finding the words to express your values can help you live in alignment and increase your overall wellbeing—as well as give you the much-needed motivation to progress towards goals that support your values. Step 1: Take The Values AssessmentI find it challenging to think of the right words to articulate what I value. While there are many lists online you can use as a starting point, I prefer using the think2perform Online Values Exercise. This free online assessment includes 51 named value cards and four rounds of reviewing the cards. The total time to complete this activity is about 15 minutes, and perhaps more depending on how much contemplation time you need. In the end, you'll have five value cards that name and start to describe key areas that matter to you. Recently, when I retook the values assessment, I identified these as my top 5 values:  Step 2: Personalize Your ValuesAfter you identify your top five values, think about how you live those values in your everyday life and even how they play out in your career. As I took the assessment this time, I found that I liked some of the value names, like autonomy and helping others, as well as parts of the value descriptions from other cards. I realized how important it was for me to personalize my values to make them truly my own. Fine Tuning Value Names For one, I work in the field of Learning and Development, and previous job titles I have had included the word “training” in the title. For me, the idea of education resonated with me, but the word "education" was not quite right. When I thought more about what matters to me, I landed on the word "learning." For me, "education" has the connotation that I need to take a class in order to learn. I'm a firm believer that learning comes from all directions all the time. Fine Tuning Value Descriptions I also took more time personalizing the descriptions. While I chose the word "relationships" to label one of my values, I incorporated details from descriptions for related terms like "family" and "community." I also included details that help inform how specifically I want to be sure to live those values. I included one line about different types of individual and groups, and what might bring us together, including this line: "Seeking out groups and individuals that align with my priorities, preferences, and interests." While I kept the word "health" as the value that mattered to me, I decided to update the standard description of “placing importance on physical and emotional wellbeing.” Instead, I thought about what health means to me and how I can live that value. My description for health included these details: "Leveraging habits and routines that maximize my energy and support my overall wellbeing. Prioritizing my physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing by focusing on nutrition, movement, and self-care. Honoring my need for social and alone time.” Value Evolution Over TimeI have completed this values exercise multiple times, and I find it comforting that the tend to be relatively stable, but always evolve as I do. I notice that my results change a bit depending on what personal challenges I've faced since my last assessment. The words that have remained in my top five consistently over time are autonomy, relationships, and health. When life has felt unpredictable, words like stability, security, and safety have moved up. Similarly, since work is such an important part of my life, there are always words directly related to what I do for a living. In this case, learning and helping others round out my top five, and represent not only my work, but my general approach to the world. What Do You Think?Do you take time to think about and name your personal values? How do you go about that process? Share your thoughts in the comments. Learn MoreBy Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady About ReferencesWhen you’re getting ready to apply for jobs, at some point, those companies will ask for professional references. Some organizations will ask for references during the initial application. Other employers will ask as they approach the final stages of their interview process. Let's look at how you can select and communicate well with these people who you want to vouch for you and your skills. About Professional ReferencesYour professional references will speak well of you and help potential employers see your value. While personal references are generally people who can vouch for your character, professional references can share their experience with you in a work-related capacity. Typically, you'll need the names and contact information for three people who can share their experiences with you. Selecting Your ReferencesWhen selecting your professional references, here are a few ideas on who you may want to use:
Overall, it's helpful to find people who have worked for you doing relevant work (paid or volunteer) and who can attest to your skills. Here are a few of the people I have used a reference in the past:
Which References To UseWhen I apply for jobs, I have two references I use consistently.
Depending on the role for which I am applying, I will choose which other reference might be the most helpful:
Overall, make sure that your references can speak to your skills as they might pertain to the specific job. Information To IncludeMake sure to collect the following details on your potential references so you are ready to share it with possible employers:
Asking People To Be Your ReferenceBefore you start giving out people's contact information, be sure to confirm they are okay with being your reference. I suggest doing this before a specific job asks for references. I usually send them a message via email, LinkedIn, or text that reads something like this: --------------- Hi, [first name]. I'm launching my job search, and I'm wondering if you'd be willing to be one of my professional references. If so, please share the following contact information details with me:
Thanks for your help! -------------- The Heads Up MessageAfter you have their initial permission to give out their name as a reference, be sure to also inform them if they should expect someone to reach out to them. In addition to letting them know who may contact them and the type of position, it's also good to share a reminder of your previous work relationship so they aren't scrambling. Here is an example of that type of message. --------------- Hi, [first name]. Thanks for being willing to be my reference! I recently applied for a [job title] position with [company name]. I am in the final stages of their interview process, and they may contact you via phone or email. As a reminder, you and I worked together at [company] from [date range] when I was a [my job title] and you were the [their job title]. Thanks again! --------------- Learn MoreBy Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady It's Interview Time! Make It Count!No doubt, you've been applying for a lot of jobs--and now a company wants to talk to you! Since you're over the first hurdle, it’s time to get ready to make a good impression. Your goal is to help your interviewers see how amazing you are! To do that, you need to figure out how to shape and share your story. Let's look at what you're likely in for and how to set yourself up for success. About Behavioral Interviewing QuestionsDuring the job interview process, hiring managers and recruiters often ask behavioral interview questions since past actions often predict future behavior. Old-school interview questions rely on asking how you would handle a hypothetical situation (which, of course, would be perfectly). Conversely, behavioral interview questions require you to share a story of what you actually did in a similar situation. The stories you share come from your previous work experience and demonstrate how you think, solve problems, measure success, and overcome obstacles. Anticipating Behavioral Interview QuestionsTraditional interview questions usually start with, "How would you?" while behavioral interview questions often begin with, "Tell me about a time." Here are a few examples of old-school questions and behavioral alternatives:
Finding Your StoriesWhen answering behavioral interview questions, you will tell a story. It's valuable to think about your previous jobs and be ready to mine that experience for stories to explain key points to your interviewers. Your goal should be to give a 1-3 minute answer that showcases your skills in ways that address the question. The tendency is for people to either not know what to say or to ramble and hope they stumble upon something useful. For the next little part of this article, we'll explore different strategies you could use to answer the following question: Tell me about a time when you had to finish a project with a short turnaround time. The Non-Plan: Start Talking and Hope For The BestHere goes nothing: Gosh. I've done a lot of projects where I had to get something done quickly. Those have included software implementations, making a video, and even designing or updating a class with little to no notice. I usually just work really hard and put in extra hours to get something done. So, one case I can think of was right when the pandemic started in 2020. I worked for a software company that delivered most of its training in person at customer sites. Since government guidelines for dealing with COVID were changing daily during the early part of the pandemic, over the course of a couple of days--maybe it was like two weeks. I can't quite remember. Anyway, we realized that we would not be able to travel to customer sites to deliver their training like we had always done. We had to figure out how to deliver what was usually a week or so of in-person training without traveling to a customer site. We really didn't know how we were going to pull that off--and we were really worried that we were going to totally screw it up. I mean, who even knew what was going on early pandemic? What a mess that whole thing was. So anyway, we had to figure out how to do that well--and we had to figure it out in literally days. I had the trainer cancel their travel plans. Then, a few of us--including a salesperson, a trainer, and an instructional designer--sat down and tried to figure out what to do. We didn't want to bore people to death or make it an awful experience. We thought about doing videos, but those take a lot of time to create and produce. We also had to figure out a short-term plan for the next week and figure out a more interim plan after that. It was really hard to figure out. I mean--the whole WORLD had changed! [Note: we're still on the stage setting part of this and not even on to the question answer. So. Much. Talking.] PAR: Problem/Project, Action, ResultsHaving a plan for your answers will make the whole interviewing process better. PAR is one method you can use to structure your answer. Here are key components and what each letter represents:
A PAR AnswerProject/Problem: In March of 2020, when COVID was declared a pandemic, I worked at XYZ Software Company, and my team trained new users right after their software went live for each customer. Because we did new user training in person at each customer's site, and travel restrictions were going into place, we had to figure out what to do instead--and we only had a few days to figure something out. Action: I talked with my manager about how to deliver this training the following week to ABC Company. We thought through options and decided to use a combination of Zoom meetings and hands-on practice. I repurposed some of our materials to be self-paced activities, and my manager and I talked with the customer about our plans. We agreed to do a 90-minute instructor-led session in the morning and another one in the afternoon each day that week. Learners would also do self-paced activities, and the instructor would be available to answer questions as needed. Result: This resulted in us delivering the training during the planned week using the time already scheduled, but in a different way. In the end, the customer was happy that we were still on schedule, and end users appreciated the combination of instructor-led training and self-directed time. CARL: Context, Action, Results, LearningCARL is another method you can use to structure your answers. Here are key components and what each letter represents:
A CARL AnswerContext: In March of 2020, when COVID was declared a pandemic, I worked at XYZ Software Company and my team trained new users right after their software went live for each customer. Because we did new user training in-person at each customer's site, and travel restrictions were going into place, we had to figure out what to do instead--and we only had a few days to plan. Action: I talked with my manager about how to deliver this training the following week to ABC Company. We thought through options and decided to use a combination of Zoom meetings and hands-on practice. I repurposed some of our materials to be self-paced activities, and my manager and I talked with the customer about our plans. We agreed to do a 90-minute instructor-led session in the morning, and another one in the afternoon each day that week. Learners would also do self-paced activities, and I would be available to answer questions as needed. Result: This resulted in us delivering the training during the planned week using the time already scheduled, but in a different way. In the end, the customer was happy that we were still on schedule, and end users appreciated the combination of instructor-led training and self-directed time. Learning: Through this process, we learned more about how we could deliver effective learning at a distance. We also found that encouraging learners to turn their cameras on during training helped build a sense of community among class members. We built upon our lessons learned to improve our training with each customer. Additional Question Answering ModelsIn addition to PAR and CARL, here are two more question answering models.
In the end, it doesn't matter as much which one you choose, just that you structure your answers to minimize rambling. Learn More
By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady Your LinkedIn Profile: PurposeWhile your resume is a concise 1-2 page marketing piece intended to showcase your skills as they apply to a specific job, LinkedIn is your professional billboard to the whole working world. When actively searching and applying for a job, you’ll include your LinkedIn profile on your resume. Hiring managers and recruiters will often view your profile to see which connections you might have in common and to learn more about you in general. Furthermore, recruiters may source you (invite you to apply or interview for an opportunity) based on the content of your profile. Whether you are actively applying for a new job or simply building your professional network, it's a good idea to review your LinkedIn profile regularly and make updates to ensure your information is current and complete. Your LinkedIn Profile: The BasicsFilling in these fields on your LinkedIn profile will make it an even more valuable tool as you build and grow your professional network:
Your LinkedIn Profile: Next LevelHere are a few ways to make your LinkedIn profile even more impactful:
What Do You Think?What information do you include on your LinkedIn profile and why? What details do you skip and for what reason? Share your thoughts in the comments. Learn MoreBy Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady The Challenge: Describing What You DoWhether you're searching for a new role or thinking about your professional development, not having the right words to describe your skillset can hinder your progress. Identifying your career keywords will help you create effective messaging for your LinkedIn profile, resume, conversations with colleagues, and other written communications like email and social media posts. Where To Start: LinkedIn and KeywordsHere is my recommendation for how to begin gathering keywords that align with your chosen profession:
Let me take you through an example. Search for Your Target Job TitleI searched LinkedIn's Jobs section for Business Partner Organizational Development in the United States. From the results, I selected ten currently open positions to review further (because I'm an overachiever like that). Here are those job titles:
Lesson Learned: When you search for a job title, your results will include a variety of titles different companies use. Be sure to review the job description to learn more about what that company expects from that role. The duties for the same job title might vary widely from company to company, as might the terminology they use to describe it. Identifying Skills and KeywordsTotal Number of Different Skills Returned for All Ten Jobs For the 10 jobs I reviewed, 69 different skills were included in the results. For context, if all roles had the exact same skills, this number would be 10. If all of the roles had different skills, this number would be 100. Lesson Learned: Not only will job titles vary across organizations, but what skills they value can also differ. Be sure to review the job description to learn more about what skills the company thinks will help make someone in that role successful. Specific Skills Returned For More Than One Job Several skills came up more than once across those ten jobs. Here is the number of times a specific skill appeared for more than one role:
Lesson Learned: Even if there is not widespread agreement on the terminology used across organizations, some keywords will show up more often. Consider including popular keywords in your skills section on your LinkedIn profile and in your resume. Different Keywords for Similar Skills While specific keywords like "communication" and "problem solving" appeared more than once within the 10 job descriptions, several related terms might be included instead. Here are a few groups of terms that take different approaches to describing similar concepts:
Lesson Learned: When you look at the groupings of keywords, you can see the broader areas where roles like this would operate. Each company may use slightly different terminology regarding the skills that they value. When you talk about the work you do, consider weaving some of these words into your stories. What Do You Think?How do you identify the right keywords to use to describe what you do? How could you loop in AI into this process? Share your thoughts in the comments. Learn MoreBy Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady What Do You Want To Be Next?We often ask children, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” As an adult thinking about your future, it’s time to ask yourself, “What do I want to be next?” Whether you are lookinh got your first professional role, in a post-layoff career transition, or you're employed and contemplating your future, it's always a good time to think about what you want from your professional life going forward. Shouldn't I Just Take What I Can Get?As a job seeker who is unhappy with their current situation, I understand the tendency to feel like you are in no position to be picky. However, when I talk with job searchers having difficulty landing a new role, not having a focus for their job search actually slows their progress considerably. Most of the time, employers are less likely to hire someone who wants what I would call “any old job.” Most companies would rather hire a person who genuinely wants to do a specific type of work, has the necessary skills, and is targeting an identified role. One of the best things you can do for the success of your job search is to figure out what you really want to do, then use your resume and LinkedIn profile to promote yourself as a match for your desired role. Take a BeatWhen you're not currently employed and nervous about your future, it's natural to think, “I need a job as quickly as possible.” or to skip thinking altogether and seek out exactly the same job you had before. It’s not that you can’t seek the same type of work—because you can. Just make sure to reconfirm with yourself that you are going toward a role you want. Here are ideas for how to go about that process. Reflect on Your ValuesA good starting point is thinking about what really matters to you in life and how you express those values. Personally, I also find that it's challenging to think of the right words to articulate those high-level ideas that matter to you. I discovered the think2perform Online Values Exercise at a previous job when I was designing a retirement planning seminar. Since thinking about your money (or your work, for that matter) starts with what you care about on a larger scale, this is a great starting point. Personally, I take this assessment on at least an annual basis because the process helps me revisit my values in general and helps me more thoughtfully talk about what I do and why I do it. The assessment itself includes 51 named value cards and 4 rounds of reviewing the cards. The total time to complete this activity is about 15 minutes, and perhaps more, depending on how much contemplation you do during the process. You also have the option to add your own values as needed. In the end, you'll have 5 value cards with descriptions that name and describe key areas that matter to you. After you identify your top 5 values, think about how you live those values in your life and how you would like to express those values in your work. Use these as your guideposts as you move on to the next steps. Identify Your Work StrengthsThe CliftonStrengths Assessment (previously known as Clifton StrengthsFinder) is a wonderful tool for identifying what you are good at, how that manifests, and how your version of each strength shows up. It not only helps you identify your top strengths but also gives you language to talk about skills you didn't even realize everyone else didn't have. To access this assessment, you can purchase the StrengthsFinder 2.0 Book (which includes a code for the new CliftonStrengths Online Assessment) or you can directly pay for and access the CliftonStrengths Top 5 Assessment on Gallup.com. Either option should cost around $25 for the basic assessment and results, with the option to purchase additional assessments or training based on your level of interest. The 30-minute online assessment includes 177 questions including paired statements. On a scale you select which of the statements is more like you. From there, you'll receive a report identifying your top five strengths along with a more detailed description of how those strengths are exhibited in how you interact with the world. Reading a report about yourself (one that is freakishly accurate, by the way) is downright life changing. After taking the assessment, you'll be able to see your unique talents and have language to explain how what you do sets you apart from others. Having a way to put your abilities into words can translate directly into your resume, and how you talk about who you are and what you bring to the table. Reflect on Roles and Identify What You WantThink about your previous jobs and life experiences and reflect on what you liked and didn't like. As yourself the following questions and write down your answers:
Talk To People In Roles of InterestOne helpful way to find out more about possible career options is to talk to people who are currently in those roles. By reaching out to individuals in your professional network and asking them to put you in touch with people they know who could help, you can make new connections and find out more. This will help you start to bridge the distance between your skills, and possible job titles and companies that might be a good fit for you. Learn More
By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady Managing Curious and Well-Intentioned PeopleOne of the hardest things about being laid off is telling other people about it--specifically fielding their uninvited questions. I'm not talking about work people or your professional network, either. I'm talking about the family friend you run into at the grocery store, that parent you went to a PTA meeting with once, seldom-seen relatives at a holiday gathering, and the neighbor you pass by only occaisionally. Worse yet, it is interacting with a group of well-intentioned people who express their curiosity, worry, and opinions regarding your wellbeing. Here are a few suggested talking points for managing those conversations that pop up at just the wrong time. Getting Your Patter DownAfter you've chatted with your inner circle, it’s time to think about addressing this topic with everyone else. This includes people who make random comments about your situation, those who don't really know how layoffs work, and the ones who genuinely want to help but may not have the best advice. These conversations may be rough, especially if you feel vulnerable. Your goal may be to get through the awkwardness and move on to other topics. To prepare, it is helpful to know how to respond. Here are a few suggestions for talking points to get you through. Talking About Your Current State and Plans
Talking About The Job You No Longer HaveThe question: I heard you’re unemployed. What happened there! Your core message: My job ended. It is a thing that happened.
Talking About What Is Next For YouThe question: What are you going to do now? I would be freaking out! Or I’d be scared to death if I were you. Are you sure you’ll be okay? Or A person I sort of know lost their house/was unemployed for years/had to take a pay cut/never worked again. Your core message: I’m going to keep on keeping on and also look for a new job.
Talking About STILL Not Having a JobThe question: So--do you have a job yet? Or Are you STILL unemployed? Or Did that thing you were interviewing for work out? Your core message: I am job searching and something will work out.
Acknowledging People's ReassurancesThe question/comment: Don’t worry. It’ll be fine. Hang in there! You’re so talented! Your response: Thanks. Addressing Well Intentioned and/or Awful AdviceThe comments:
Your core message: I appreciate you. I will make the right decision for me.
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Looking BackThere are several days each year when people typically look back and assess their lives. This could be the anniversary of a death, a holiday full of memories, or your birthday. For me, the day I reflect is Groundhog Day. February 2, 2006Early in 2006, my life was at a crossroads. My then-husband and I were in the process of getting divorced, and I was figuring out how to transition from a house to two houses and what co-parenting my 2-year-old daughter would be like. The one shred of stability I had was my job. I was happy to have one thing I could count on not changing. …and then February 2 happened. That morning, I went to work. I took a few minutes between meetings to create a spreadsheet to figure out if I could afford to buy a condo I’d looked at the night before on my own. As I saved my file, I got a tap on the shoulder that I had an impromptu meeting. I grabbed a pen and a legal pad and walked into a conference room full of executives who informed me that my position was eliminated due to restructuring because of the company being acquired. Welcome to layoff #2. I was in shock. I returned to my desk, deleted my spreadsheet (which had just become irrelevant), told my coworker Brad “I’m gone,” and found myself sitting in my car with a box containing all of my formerly workly possessions. From the parking lot of my ex-workplace, I called my soon-to-be ex-husband to tell him about my now ex-job. His only response was, “Huh.” Then, It Got A Little WorseThat weekend, I was on a road trip to visit some of my high school friends for a fun weekend of reminiscing and going to the Snowflake Ski Jump. On my way there, a local cop pulled me over for speeding. As I sat there, I glanced at the notification I’d just received from unemployment sitting in my passenger seat—the one that said I’d receive less money than the last time I’d been laid off—meaning I wouldn’t be bringing enough money in to cover my half of the mortgage. As the officer approached my window, I could feel the tears well up. I could not get a ticket, too. I would cry (as I often heard people threaten to do), but this was no empty threat that would come to bear only through theatrics. I was legit going to fall apart if this happened. This moment—sitting in the car with indications of my life failures greatest hits smacking me in the face was a low point in my life—rivaled only by my dad’s unexpected death when I was still in high school. Then, It Got a Little BetterFortunately, I think because of my street cred, which included being a native of a town nearby, I drove away ticket free. One thing had gone okay. Then I saw friends, connected with new people, and spent more time with my daughter. I also had the time and space to figure out what to do with myself now. The Transition BeginsIt was an ugly, ugly few months. I applied for countless jobs. I put our house up for sale. My daughter’s dad (new language from the book Mom’s House, Dad’s House) and I decided to move in tandem to Minneapolis, Minnesota from Madison, Wisconsin. I looked for jobs, made business connections, and stayed with friends on the way to and from my regular trips to Minneapolis. I didn’t sleep well for months. A tree fell down in my front yard the day of my open house, so I figured out how to have a giant tree removed while driving on I-90 back home from a job interview. That May, I found a job, a preschool for my daughter, a new place to live, and reconnected with one of my best friends from high school. Later, my daughter's dad found a job and moved to Minneapolis, along with his new girlfriend (a lovely person and good to my daughter). Then, to mix it up, I totaled my car, dated and broke up with a couple of people, and got Shingles three times in a row. Some days, after work, I would lie on my floor and look at the ceiling in my apartment, my low-cost therapy as I acclimated to all of the life changes. I adjusted to my new normal after going through every significant life change (save a death in the family and someone I love going to prison) I could think of to endure. Then, It Kept Getting BetterIn October, on the same day, I was approved for a car loan and found out that my house in Madison had new owners. Over time, I made two great friends from my job and got comfortable in a new city. I started dating someone who was great, then bought a house with and married that guy--who is an awesome stepdad and cat dad. I got laid off again and got another good job, then got laid off again and got an even better job. Things have gone pretty well through layoffs, reemployments, trials and tribulations. Through it all, my husband is awesome, my now-adult daughter is amazing, and the cats mostly tolerate my presence. A Frame of Reference for GratitudeSometimes, I see people who are unhappy with what they have. The strange upside of having gone through rough times is that it gives you a frame of reference. It reminds me to be grateful for the roof over our heads, my husband playing video games with our two cats in his lap, my healthy, happy daughter, and an ongoing stream of new challenges and adventures. I’m grateful for being active, able-bodied, and having a strong sense of well-being. I am grateful for winter heat, summer air conditioning, and all the machines that do my housework. I treasure mother/daughter movie nights, trips to the skating rink, and building relationships with new friends and colleagues. I value my roller derby skates, my outside roller skates, and my inline skates. I appreciate my cats, Zippy and Meathook, and the combination of disdain and affection they have for me. I am genuinely grateful for it all. Groundhog Day is my annual reminder to remember all these things. Learn More
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Author7-time layoff survivor Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady, waxes poetic on layoffs, job transitions, & career resilience. Buy The Book!
Were you recently laid off? Need a roadmap for what's next? Or planning just in case? Check out my book, Seven Lessons From Seven Layoffs: A Guide!
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