As our lives get busy, we feel like we're not accomplishing as much as we should be. Even if you're someone who makes a to-do list, too often, we quickly forget about all those things that are done and focus only on what else we should have accomplished. This is a great way to bring yourself down.

In life in general, and especially during a job search, it's easy to forget everything we managed to get done. Especially during challenging times, it's essential to make a note of what is going well. 

Your successes can be anything. They can be fun things you did, achievements, or accomplishments that made you let out a huge audible sigh of relief that they were finally complete.

​It's really about acknowledging that you did so that you realize that you're not just sitting around NOT ACCOMPLISHING ANYTHING. Instead, it's a reminder of how amazing you are. Chances are when you review your success list, you'll be reminded of even more things to add--and that's really the point. 

It's incredible, really. Creating a list of accomplishments, whether small, medium, or large, helps so much. When I started, I had a hard time thinking of anything to write. Then, as I got going, it was hard to stop. Taking time regularly to acknowledge positive actions and accomplishments makes all the difference. 

What would you include in your success list? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments. 

The first step of job searching is figuring out what kind of job you even want. Instead of jumping right into the same job you did before, it's wise to take a step back and reflect. A good starting point is thinking about what is truly important to you in your life and how you express those values. 

Identifying what matters to you is helpful whether you're thinking about how you spend your money, what kinds of activities appeal to you, who you want to spend time with, and (go figure) what type of work you want to do. Unfortunately, I also find that it takes a lot of work to find the right words to articulate those high-level ideas that matter to you. 

When designing a retirement planning seminar for clergy, I discovered the think2perform Online Values Exercise at a previous job. Since thinking about your money (or your work for that matter) starts with what you care about on a larger scale, this is a great starting point. Personally, I take this assessment on at least an annual basis because the process helps me revisit my values in general and helps me more thoughtfully talk about what I do and why I do it.

The assessment includes 51 named value cards and 4 rounds of reviewing the cards. The total time to complete this activity is about 15 minutes, and more, depending on how much contemplation you do during the process. You also have the option to add your own values as needed. In the end, you'll have 5 value cards with descriptions that name and describe key areas that matter to you. 

For me, as of the last time I completed this activity, my top 5 were (in no particular order) autonomy, education, helping others, health, and relationships. 

When I think about the type of work, my desired way of working, and my work preferences, using my values as a starting point helps me articulate how I think about these things in a more meaningful way.

• My value of autonomy reminds me that I like to have choices in the type of work I do and when I do it. For example, I like to have the option to work longer on a project when I hit flow or when a deadline is on the horizon. I also like to have the ability to come in later or leave earlier on other days. 
• My chosen field of learning and development is all about education. I literally help people learn for a living. I'm also a continuous learner who is constantly gathering information from industry best practices, to software skills, to a great book to read. This constant information gathering helps me to come up with solutions to problems as they arise. 
• I was drawn to learning and development, managing projects, and leading teams because of my overarching commitment to helping others. Ever since I was a small child growing up around a lot of adults, I found myself working to figure out details in any situation from context and then helping others who also looked like they didn't quite know what was going on. I always want to share a personal contact, organization, or website with someone if I think it can help them meet their goals. 
• Having been around people with health and mobility issues, my health is very important to me. This impacts my life including choices on exercise, diet, sleep, and overall wellness. Managing these factors helps improve my overall health, including my mental well-being. Therefore, I seek a challenging job where I can leverage my talents to create happiness in myself and within coworker relationships.
• I value relationships with people. I appreciate what is unique about each person and genuinely enjoy getting to know individuals personally and professionally. I also believe in building strong working relationships to collaborate to solve problems and ensure success as we partner.  

by Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

I'm currently working my way through layoff #7, which is also my fourth layoff in the late fall. Out of these fall layoffs, three of them went into the holidays.

Being in a career transition is rough. Being in a career transition during the holidays—especially the week before Christmas through the new year—is soul-sucking.

I’ve read several of articles touting the benefits of job searching during the holidays--and I mean a lot, a lot of them. (No one else will be applying! You’ll get a leg up on other applicants! Tons of people are trying to fill positions before the year's end!) 

I'm sure somebody somewhere found the role of a lifetime on the day after Christmas interviewing with the one brand new HR rep with no vacation yet who was stuck working. I am not that person. I'm also not going to make the mistake of trying to be that person ever again.

Here is my advice to job seekers at the end of the year. Take a holiday break. Go do things you’d like to do when you’re gainfully employed but that are harder to find time to do. Go to a noon yoga class. Get together with friends for lunch. Read a novel with no obvious professional development benefit. Go to a matinee. Visit a museum. Take a road trip. Walk around the mall on a weekday. Buy fancy coffee in a café and people watch. Take some time for yourself. Take a break from pounding pavement on your job search and just breathe. I guarantee you'll feel better from giving yourself a reprieve.

Just like we all need vacation time to recuperate from our day jobs and be able to do good work, we also need to take a break from a job search so we can have the mental space to regroup. Take a couple of weeks off—like the week before and the week after Christmas—and reset. Your future self will thank you for this act of self-care.

by Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

Life is challenging when nothing in particular is happening. When you're going through a job change (especially one you didn't plan), it's even harder. While I'm a fan of self-reliance, I also know the value of finding people who want to support you and letting them do it. You're not weak for needing people. You are smart for planning ahead for what you will need.

I have been through a post-layoff job transition 7 times, and it is difficult each and every time. There is the fear that it will just never end and you'll be drifting for eternity trying to find paid work where you can pay your bills--much less in a job you want. You worry that you'll have to settle for something that may be even worse than the worst job you've ever had. You also worry that you'll run out of money and not be able to pay your bills and lose everything you own and everyone you've ever loved. While your rational mind knows this is all pretty unlikely, there will be moments when it all seems hopeless. That's where your support network comes in. 

No matter how resilient and downright badass you are, doing this alone makes it way harder. 

As an extra added bonus, people want to help you!

I'm always inspired by people who come out of the woodwork to check on me, tell me about an open position, thank me for helping them once upon a time, or offer to refer me for a role. Everyone has struggled with something at one time or another, and someone has helped them. Let other people help you. 

It also takes a village to get you through a career transition. Relying on one person for everything is all kinds of stressful. Know that people want to help, and it's a matter of figuring out what you need, letting people know, and reaching out to people when you need it. Going through a job search is challenging even in the best of circumstances. If you're starting from a layoff (especially the part where someone else got to make a big, uninvited life decision for you) it can be even more challenging. 

Here's a starter list of the types of help you may need during your job transition. More specifically, here is some of what I needed. Use this as a starting point and add details as it helps you:

• ​Emotional Support: You'll have all the feelings. Figure out who you can talk to about what. Sometimes you'll laugh, sometimes you'll cry, sometimes you'll vent, and on the most trying days, maybe all of the above. 
• Communication: Just telling people what is up can be draining--because people. Realize, too, that you telling them about your situation may result in them inadvertently trying to allay their fears that the same thing will happen to them. Find a friend who can help you spread whatever news there is to convey. Telephone. Telegraph. Tell a Karla. Find those people who love to connect with others (and even share some of the same social circles) and enlist their help.  
• Sounding Board: When you're making big decisions--or doing something you don't do very often, having someone to talk things through will is mission critical. Personally, I don't even always need my sounding board people to say much--just to sit there and listen (or at least just not talk over me) as I talk myself into or out of the idea I'm considering. There is so much value to writing or talking through ideas as you choose your next steps.
• Logistical Support: Sometimes, you'll need a hand figuring things out. Maybe it's having someone to watch your kids for a bit so you can have a phone interview. Maybe it's help with a ride if you're having car trouble. Whatever it is, it may seem small to them, but it'll solve a problem for you. 
• Fun: There will be many, many times when you just need a distraction. Watching a movie. Having coffee. Talking about non-job search related things. Having a conversation where you don't have to be "on" and can just chat with someone. It doesn't have to be elaborate. It just has to be a welcome break from all those "shoulds" to be something other than a job-searching human.
• Cheerleader: You also need someone to give you a pep talk. Whether it's someone who'll send you a quick "You've got this!" text or someone to remind you to take a deep breath and tell them your remarkable story, remember that encouragement is essential. They can also help you celebrate successes and remind you of your innate value when you're struggling.
• Accountability: You'll also need someone to help you keep on track. It may be as easy as them asking if you applied for that job you talked about. Or asking you if you updated your resume like you said you would do. I have people I text saying I'll do a given thing just so I have written it down, and I have the peer pressure to help me follow through. 
• New Ideas: There is a certain amount of trial and error when looking for a new job. Whether it's optimizing LinkedIn, figuring out how to network with new people, finding the best way to position your work experience, or where to find jobs, there's a lot to learn. Whether you tap into someone who works in that industry, or a hiring manager, or a resume writer, figuring out how to be a more effective job searcher is useful. 
• Connectors: Each of us has people in our personal and professional networks who seem to know all the things and/or all the people. Let them help you connect with helpful people, job leads, or ideas when you need them. 

When it comes to help, I start with my inner circle--close friends and family. I'm also sure to widen my support team beyond them, too.

I also move beyond that immediate group. I interact with my LinkedIn connections. I tap into online groups including job search groups, The White Box Club, and even LinkedIn groups focusing on networking or a content area (like sales enablement).

I interact with in-person membership groups like ATD or the Omaha OD Network. Or I seek out non-work connections through social Meetup groups or activities. Sometimes, I just spend time in coffee shops to indirectly interact with other people. It's a matter of figuring out what you need and finding a person to help.

Know, too, that there will be times when you need to straight up reach out to someone because you need help. Each person will have their areas of interest and expertise, so be sure to keep that in mind when asking for help.

It's helpful to consider who you might contact for different needs. Here are a few cases where I reach out to different people to ask for help:
​

• Before a job interview, I will text my daughter, telling her I have a job interview. She will then text back words of encouragement.
• If I need non-job search social interaction, I'll reach out to my former "lunch ladies" coworkers with a link to my Calendly and ask if they're up for a catch-up conversation (then they can pick a time that works for them for us to chat.)
• If I'm having a rough day, I'll reach out to my best friend via text or phone to talk a bit. 
• If I'm unsure if my resume is clear, I'll contact a former coworker for his insights on what I might want to change. 
• If I want to talk shop but not directly job searching, I'll contact a LinkedIn connection I haven't chatted with in a while and see if they are up for a virtual coffee meeting. I get to have a fulfilling interaction with another person and glean a few professional insights, too.