Three Unfortunate Job Searching Truths (And How To Manage Each)

By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

The Adventure of Finding a New Job

Whether you're gainfully employed but looking for the next right opportunity for you, or you're in career transition, job searching is hard. Here are three unfortunate job searching truths that can help you manage your mindset and emotions as you work through the ups and downs of this process. 

​Truth 1: Job Seeker Time Goes Slower Than Hiring Organization Time

When you're a hiring manager, you have a ton going on, and only one of those things is hiring a new person. You're still trying to manage your team, meet deadlines, troubleshoot customer problems, and juggle all the people you're considering for your open position. In an interview, when one candidate asks about the hiring process, you tell them you should know who will move on to the next steps in the process "by the end of this week"--and at the time, you believe that is a reasonable deadline. Then there is a software release with a bug that causes three meetings to be scheduled with big clients, or someone ends up out on sick leave unexpectedly, or your child has to be picked up from daycare with the flu. Friday comes and goes, and getting in touch with a candidate falls off your radar until the next week. 

Meanwhile, as a job seeker, you put a note on your calendar that you'll know one way or another by Friday. Then you analyze every syllable you uttered in the interview, hoping you didn't say anything awful. You rethink a facial expression you interpreted as approving and wonder if it really was that at all. You suffer through Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, secretly worrying that you will never find another job. Ever. 

Instead of spiraling, take action to get you closer to your goals.
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After the interview, email the hiring manager a thank you message and consider sending them a LinkedIn connection request. Put a note on your calendar for a few days after the hiring manager said they would contact you. Reach out to them at that time, including a few pleasantries, reiterating your interest in the role, and asking for an update.

Will you get the job? It's hard to tell. Either way, you did your part. Remind yourself that you won't get every job you apply for, and reflect to see what you can learn from it. At the very least, pat yourself on the back that you didn't over-follow up (which is often worse than not following up at all), and be sure to focus on more than one job opportunity at a time.

In addition, network with three more people and apply for three more jobs.

Truth 2: It's Not "Your Job" Until You Receive A Paycheck

Inevitably as a job searcher, you run across it. THE job. It's the one you know is meant to be yours. It's perfect--easy commute, a great title, the go-to company, exactly what you are qualified (and want) to do. In your head, you think--this is MY job. You picture your new business cards, where you'll park, and how you'll introduce yourself as the "Director of Awesomeness" for this perfect company. If you're still working, you may be dreaming about the day you hand in your notice--or get excited knowing you won't have to finish a dreaded project because you'll be elsewhere. You think--why should I even bother applying for anything else because this one is SO my job!

Except, well, it's not actually your job yet. You're looking at it and seeing yourself in it, but it's not real. You don't work there. No one is sending you a paycheck for it. They don't even know your name yet. You may very well still work at your company in a few months when the project you're not excited about is due. While this MAY be the job you eventually get, it's not a done deal yet.

You know what else? It may not end up being your job. Apply for that job--even work hard to get it. Know, though, that you may end up not even getting called in for an interview. This doesn't mean you're not still an amazing professional with valuable qualifications. Remember, there are always many things going on when companies hire. There may be an internal candidate, a previous coworker of the hiring manager, someone who has a referral from a college friend, or someone who has even slightly more of a qualification that didn't make that job posting. 

When you're a hiring manager, you have a ton going on, and only one of those things is hiring a new person. You're still trying to manage your team, meet deadlines, troubleshoot customer problems, and juggle all the people you're considering for your open position. In an interview, when one candidate asks about the hiring process, you tell them you should know who will move on to the next steps in the process "by the end of this week"--and at the time, you believe that is a reasonable deadline. Then there is a software release with a bug that causes three meetings to be scheduled with big clients, someone unexpectedly ends up on sick leave, or your child has to be picked up from daycare with the flu. Friday comes and goes, and getting in touch with a candidate falls off your radar until the next week. 

Meanwhile, as a job seeker, you put a note on your calendar that you'll know one way or another by Friday. Then you analyze every syllable you uttered in the interview, hoping you didn't say anything awful. You rethink a facial expression you interpreted as approving and wonder if it really was that at all. You suffer through Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, secretly worrying that you will never find another job. Ever. 

Instead of spiraling, take action to get you closer to your goals.

After the interview, email the hiring manager a thank you message and consider sending them a LinkedIn connection request. Put a note on your calendar for a few days after the hiring manager said they would contact you. Reach out to them then, including a few pleasantries, reiterating your interest in the role, and asking for an update.

Will you get the job? It's hard to tell. Either way, you did your part. Remember that you won't get every job you apply for and reflect to see what you can learn from it. At the very least, pat yourself on the back that you didn't over-follow up (which is often worse than not following up at all), and focus on more than one job opportunity at a time.

Whenever you fall in love with a job or think of something as "your job,” make an extra effort to apply for additional jobs--or at least game out what happens if you do not get the job. If the job you see yourself in works out, great. If not, you're still working towards your ultimate goal of finding a new role (complete with a paycheck), whichever one that might be. 

In addition, network with three more people and apply for three more jobs

Truth 3: You Only Need One Job.

Applying for jobs is a process. Looking back at my records, I have typically applied for between 40 and 100 jobs when I've been in career transition. It's easy to get discouraged. If you're working and looking for something else, you might be more selective in your applications and feel especially attached to an opening you see. Remember, not every personal referral, application, or interview will lead to an offer.

Again--sometimes you apply and hear back a fat lot of nothing. Sometimes, you might get a quick rejection from a job only to see it reposted a week later. In those cases, it can be hard to see that they don't even have a good candidate, but they know it's not going to be me. That one smarts.

It's also hard when you interview for a role multiple times only to hear that you didn't get the job. Even though they genuinely liked you, you didn't get it. Maybe you were a close second, perhaps they went with an internal candidate, or they ended up not filling the position. There is so much rejection in the job search process that you’ll inevitably feel sad and like maybe there is no hope for you finding the right next job for you.

Instead of spiraling, take action to get you closer to your goals. 

At the end of the day, though, you only need one job. You only need one organization to tell you “Yes.” You only need one place where you and the employer agree to work together. Sometimes, it's helpful to remind yourself that all those no answers get you to the one yes you need. The trick is that you don't know which one will be that yes. You have to keep on keeping on until you find it.

In addition, network with three more people and apply for three more jobs.

Learn More

• The Layoff Lady's Ultimate Guide To Answering The Question, "I Just Got Laid Off--Now What Do I Do?"​
• The Layoff Lady Book: Seven Lessons From Seven Layoffs: A Guide​