Managing Job Search Rejection

By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

Rejection and Negative Emotions

Searching for a new role is a rough process riddled with rejection, which is never pleasant.

If you're in a post-layoff career transition, It starts with your former employer kicking you out of the whole company and, in essence, saying, “You are no longer one of us.” At every step of the way, you’ll experience people telling you no in a variety of ways--and it hits hard since you're navigating so much uncertainty and so many life changes. 

Even if you are currently employed, job searching and the associated rejection is still no picnic. You're also dealing with the uncertainty of knowing how long it will take to find something new and the challenge of doing passable work at your current job while not knowing how long you'll be in limbo. 

Here is how that rejection may look.

 Applying for a job and:

• Hearing the booming emptiness of no reply at all.
• Receiving a rejection email in what feels like moments after hitting submit. 
• Seeing that role repeatedly reposted as if to say, “We can’t find anyone—but certainly not you.” 

Having what felt like a great interview for a job and:

• Hearing a fat lot of nothing back. Ever.
• Finding out the job is on hold, they made an internal hire, or they went with another candidate.
• Receiving a canned “thanks, but no thanks” email months after your last conversation.

Receiving a job offer and:

• Seeing that the pay rate is significantly below the salary range you had discussed.
• After a long delay, receiving an offer with the demand that you accept immediately and start right away. 
• Wishing it was from another company for a different role.

Accepting a job offer and:

• Hearing nothing from your new employer about the details of your first week. 
• Getting a last-minute call from the recruiter that your start date has been postponed. 
• Having the offer rescinded due to company changes.

​The Necessity of Experiencing Your Emotions

Because of all of the uncertainty and rejection, this whole process can be a lot to bear. It’s hard to keep going when there are obstacles at every turn. Sometimes, even well-intentioned people who are genuinely trying to be supportive ask just the wrong question and make you feel even worse. 

It is paramount that you experience your emotions, then manage your mindset so you don’t let your feelings make the already complicated process of finding a new job even harder.

Coping Strategies

Here are a few ideas to help you work through the unpleasant emotions that will pop up during your quest for a new role. 

Acknowledge Each Emotion

Befriend your feelings. Don’t pretend that you don’t feel how you do. Name them, acknowledge them, and then move on. Pretending those unpleasant feelings don’t exist will not make them disappear. Instead, it may silence them for a bit, but they will pop up later, usually at the worst possible time. Acknowledging each one will help them run their course–and also help you to increase your ability to manage the ups and downs of this process.

Wallow a Little

It’s impossible to will yourself into feeling better. Sometimes, you need to just sit with an uncomfortable feeling for a while and let it run its course. Cry a little. Rewatch your favorite movie for the bijillionth time. Have a little ice cream. Do a puzzle. Take a walk. Take the afternoon off from your to-do list. Some will run their course more quickly than others. 

Research The Problem 

​If you’re worried about something, researching answers and managing your expectations often helps. How many job applications does it typically take to get an interview? How long does it take most people to find a new role post-layoff? Which companies are hiring? You'll probably feel a little better by researching options, clarifying goals, and taking useful action.

​Even if you don’t find a complete solution, you at least know more. Having added knowledge will help you worry less or at least direct your worry toward taking productive action that will help you solve a problem.

Take a Social Media Break

Social media, specifically LinkedIn, can be a great job search tool. Unfortunately, it can also give you the illusion that everyone else is doing great and you are downright hopeless. Posts like “It only took me a week to find my dream job,” or "I just got an awesome job (aka the one you were interviewing for)," “I’m still employed but I feel SO BAD for my former coworkers who are jobless,” or “Every company ever is doing more layoffs (which means more competition for each job)” will only make you feel worse. Remind yourself that social media isn’t real life and disengage. 

Leverage Basic Self Care

When everything feels hard, taking care of yourself needs to be your top priority. Here are a few quick and easy ideas to make you feel almost instantly better: 

• Breathe.
• Drink water. 
• Eat regularly.
• Rest.
• Shower.
• Take a break.
• Move your body.
• Go outside.

Learn More

• ​Podcast Appearance: Unfiltered Unspoken Connecting Through Life Experiences: Finding Hope After Layoffs, Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady
  
• The Layoff Lady's Ultimate Guide To Answering The Question, "I Just Got Laid Off--Now What Do I Do?"​
• The Layoff Lady Book: Seven Lessons From Seven Layoffs: A Guide​