The Emotional Side of a Layoff

By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

All The Feels

Whether due to an economic downturn, an acquisition, or a company reorganization, layoffs hapen all the time. Each person will experience a range of emotions when it happens to them. Even for someone who has gone through a layoff before, it is a tumultuous experience each and every time. Here is the good, the bad, and the ugly of the feelings people often experience surrounding an unplanned job loss.  

Shock

The phone call from HR, the perp walk through the office to the dreaded conference room, the last-minute ominous meeting invite, or the oddly timed tap on the shoulder all seem to come out of nowhere. There is something surreal about being pulled into a virtual or in-person room and having someone look you dead in the eye and tell you that you are going to go through a significant life change starting, well, now.
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Even if there were layoff rumors, news about leadership changes, or low sales reported for the quarter, it’s always a surprise on the date and time when layoffs go down. It’s the feeling of the ground being pulled out from under you. It’s the gap between expecting a full day of meetings and finding yourself in your car mid-morning with a white box.

Anger

Even if you were actively looking for a new role, a certain amount of anger goes along with a layoff. It could be frustrating learning about the people who didn’t get laid off (like that guy whose messes you've been cleaning up for the last year) and comparing your perceived value to theirs.

It could be irritation at the timing (right after vacation, right before a holiday) and how that makes finding something new an even longer process. It might be the insult to injury when you realize that yesterday’s mission-critical work-all-night project has become irrelevant. In many cases, it might just be the maddening nature of someone else deciding when you don't get to do that job anymore instead of you getting to choose when it was time. Feeling that lack of control can be the most challenging part.

Sadness

Exiting a job abruptly leaves a big hole in your life, starting with a 9+ hour workday being replaced with dead air and uncertainty. People who earlier that day were coworkers, casual work friendships, or confidants now may be nothing at all now that you no longer share an employer.  

​The consistency of a morning routine, daily commute, and regularly scheduled meetings are replaced with a battle with the unknown that may last a week or a year. Sometimes, it’s easy to be hopeful about the future, and other times, it’s hard not to be mired in sadness about all the things you can’t control.

Fear

There is plenty to be afraid of. First, the idea of not having a paycheck is horrifying. Not knowing how long your severance check has to last is unnerving. Not having any idea how long your jobless period will last and what job you’ll end up with is sometimes unbearable.

​You may fear being unemployed endlessly and not being able to support yourself. You might worry about panicking and taking the first job offered to you. You could worry about holding out for something closer to the “perfect” job that may never come. You may even fear you will never get a job as good as the one you just had. On the worst days, when fear has given way to full-on catastrophizing, you could worry that you will lose your house, car, professional reputation, and everyone you've ever loved.

Relief

Here's the one that might seem unexpected. If you've been at a company and "made it" through multiple rounds of layoffs, you may be waiting for your luck to run out.  While you're certainly relieved to still be employed, each time you hear rumblings about reorganizations or start seeing those empty white dots pop up on Microsoft Teams, you may have had that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach waiting for it to be your turn.

The strange benefit of finally being laid off is that you don't have to worry if it will happen (and when) because it just happened. At that moment, you also realize it's not as bad as you imagined, and now what there is to do is pick yourself up and create your fantastic new future. 

The Good News

Through the tumult of emotions, it’s important to acknowledge each one and process those feelings. From there, you can think about what is next for you and focuson your next steps toward the next right job for you. 

Learn More

• ​Podcast Appearance: Unfiltered Unspoken Connecting Through Life Experiences: Finding Hope After Layoffs, Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady
• The Layoff Lady: Creating Your Career Transition Support Team
• ​The Layoff Lady's Ultimate Guide To Answering The Question, "I Just Got Laid Off--Now What Do I Do?"​
• The Layoff Lady Book: Seven Lessons From Seven Layoffs: A Guide​