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Asking for Help Using LinkedIn Messaging

4/11/2023

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By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

Messaging With Your Connections

One of the benefits of having connections on LinkedIn is that you are able to directly send them messages. This is also a feature that I've seen used poorly on several occasions. Let's look at how to use LinkedIn messaging effectively to continue to build professional relationships. Let's also look at some guidelines for how to use this feature well. 

The Value of Mutually Beneficial Relationships

To have successful professional networking relationships, make sure those relationships are mutually beneficial. Networking is about give and take. Make sure that you are adding value along the way. This includes sharing useful content, congratulating people on their accomplishments, and answering one-off questions when people are asking for advice. In short, be a good LinkedIn neighbor. If you give more than you take, your LinkedIn connections will be more likely to want to help you. This is the real secret to successful professional networking--make sure it's a two-way street. 

Messages That Add Value

When you contact people directly, be sure your messages are not all you asking others to do things for you. Here are a few types of messages you can send to your connections that add value to the relationship and give more than they take:

  • Wishing them a happy holiday
  • Congratulating them on a promotion, job, degree, personal milestone, or accomplishment
  • Thanking them for sharing useful content that helped you personally
  • Thanking them for helping people in general
  • Checking in on them to see how they are
  • ​Telling them it was nice seeing them at an in-person or online event
  • Following up on a previous topic of conversation
  • Offering help on one of your areas of expertise
  • Sharing a resource, article, or piece of information that would benefit them

Make sure you are not THAT PERSON who only reaches out when they need a favor. 

Direct Asks For Help: Worst Practices

Asking for help is an art. First, you need to be willing to ask for help. Next, you need to craft your ask in a way that you have a higher likelihood of getting that help.
Here are the most significant issues I’ve seen with how people ask for job search help:
  • Connect and pitch
  • Making a big ask early on
  • Making a vague ask
  • Making an ask that is disproportionate to how well you know someone
  • Making frequent asks
  • Being aggressive in asks
  • Re-asking too many times
  • Not being able to hear no
  • Being angry if they don’t get what you want

The Worst Asks 

Even though I am, by nature, a helper, here are the types of requests I receive via LinkedIn messages that will not get much of a response from me.

  • Can you get me a job at your company?
  • Can you introduce me to people?
  • If you hear of any openings, let me know.

​Why are these not good asks?  For one, these are big asks. These are also the types of requests that would require me to do a lot of investigation to be truly helpful.
  • I’m not going to magically get you a job at my company. Being hired isn't quite as simple as that.
  • I’m also not going to go through my list of professional contacts, prioritize who I think you should meet, and facilitate multiple introductions.
  • I will also not be your personal job searcher and send you roles—partly because there is no guarantee that my assumptions based on our past experience working together will align with your current job search goals.
​
When you ask people to help you, put in your work first. Then, when they know you are committed to being successful, they are much more likely to help you clarify details.  

Direct Asks For Help: Better Practices

Here are a few better asks, but may only work with connections who you know very well and who you have helped in the past:
​
  • Would you review my resume?
  • Would you review my LinkedIn profile?
  • Would you refer me for a position at your company?
  • Would you pass my resume on to your connection, the hiring manager?
  • Would you meet with me for 30 minutes to discuss [a professional topic]?

​These requests are specific, which is better, but each is still a sizeable request. The first two may be time intensive. The next two involve me putting my reputation on the line to recommend you for a role. The final one requires a block of my time on my calendar. Depending on our interactions prior to these requests, my response may vary from “of course!” to no response at all. 

Again, remember to make sure your asks are aligned with how well you know one another. 

Direct Asks for Help: Best Practices

Asks are better when they are more specific and less time intensive. It’s also helpful if there is context. Here are a few asks that are more likely to get responses. The requests earlier in this list are more likely to get a response than the ones later on:
​
  • I just made a job search post on LinkedIn. Would you be willing to visit the post [link here] and like, comment on, or share this post to help me boost my signal?
  • I’m considering applying for the Associate Project Manager position with Super Cool Company. How do you like working there? Would you recommend it as a workplace?
  • I am working on a career transition from being a software trainer to a project manager. What do you like about your current role as a project manager? What skills would help me in that role?
  • I am working on a career transition from being a software trainer to a project manager. I see you’re connected to Alonzo Johnson, a project manager with Super Cool Company. Would you be willing to facilitate an introduction between us on LinkedIn?
  • I’m considering applying for the Associate Project Manager position with Super Cool Company. As I get my application materials together, I’d appreciate your insights on the company and how to position myself for success. Would you be willing to have a 15-minute phone call sometime over the next week to talk?
  • I’m considering applying for the Associate Project Manager position with Super Cool Company. As I get my application materials together, I’d appreciate your insights on the company and how to position myself for success. Would you be willing to have a 30-minute virtual coffee zoom meeting sometime over the next week?
  • I’m considering applying for the Associate Project Manager position with Super Cool Company. As I get my application materials together, I’d appreciate your insights on the company and how to position myself for success. Would you be willing to meet for a coffee at the local coffee shop of your choosing? The first cup is on me!

People Get To Say No

Remember, when you are asking for help, people will tell you no. More likely than telling you a direct no, they may just not respond. Ever. Keep in mind that job searching, like sales, means that you're going to hear a whole lot of no on the way to that one yes you need. When you need a specific thing, it's useful to ask multiple people for help to give you a better chance of getting a response. It's also not personal. We're each on LinkedIn using it to varying degrees and all trying to accomplish our own goals. 

Making sure that you are making the relationships mutually beneficial will make it much more likely that people will respond to you and want to lend you a hand when you need it. 

Learn More

  • The Layoff Lady: Growing Your Professional Network: Adding LinkedIn Connections
  • The Layoff Lady: Using 1:1 Networking Meetings for Job Searching
  • The Layoff Lady: Growing Your Professional Network: Attending Webinars
  • The Layoff Lady: I Just Got Laid Off--Now What? ​
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    7-time layoff survivor Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady, waxes poetic on layoffs, job transitions, & career resilience.

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