The Layoff Lady

The Ultimate Guide To Answering The Question, "I Just Got Laid Off--Now What Do I Do?"

9/1/2026

By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

Layoffs Happen All The Time

It starts like any other day. Then, it takes an ominous turn.

Whether you were invited to an ambiguously titled last minute meeting, received an awkward message in your personal email notifying you of your last day, or are perp walked to HR on your first day back from vacation, you are now among the newly unemployed.

Welcome to the suck.

Layoffs happen all the time.

Now What Do I Do?

Even if there were buyout rumors, a quarter with low sales, or a new company direction, being part of a reduction in force (RIF) is still surreal when it happens to you. It's hard to know what to do with yourself when you find yourself unexpectedly out of the job. It's time to redirect your attention.

Your New Focus Areas

The work problems you had an hour ago are gone. Along with your freed-up future come very different challenges. It’s time to shift to these top three focus areas:

Working through your initial feelings.
Assessing your current financial state.
Considering future employment options.

Your Guiding Principle

Along with your new focus areas, your overall guiding principle is not to do anything counterproductive (or downright dumb) as you figure out your post-layoff next steps.

Your Don't Do It List

Here are the career-limiting moves that will make your life harder. Instead of springing into action, stop, think, and then just don't do the following:

Talk trash about your former employer or layoff publicly.
Spew your unfiltered anger, sadness, fear, or hurt all over the interwebs.
Post on social media about how desperate you are for paid work.
Apply for all the jobs motivated solely by panic.
Take any old job.

Your Think-Before-You-Consider-Doing List

Here are a few things you may want to do at some point, but that require thought and a plan before you move forward. At the very least, sleep on it before you do any of the following:

Contact recruiters, hiring managers, or colleagues about job openings before thinking about what you really want to do next.
Make big life decisions with long-term consequences (like a cross-country move, selling your house, or getting rid of your car).
Act on anyone else's advice without thinking about what is right for you (including a cross-country move, selling your house, or getting rid of your car).

Now that you are at least somewhat inoculated against creating utter chaos for yourself, let's get back to those top three focus areas.

My white box from layoff #4.

Focus Area 1: Process Your Emotions

Losing your job can be an emotional roller coaster. An unplanned job change is a stressful life event on par with getting divorced or going to prison. Just like dealing with a death in the family, you’re dealing with the death of the future you thought you had. Losing that imagined future is a significant loss that needs to be addressed.

Figure out how you will cope with these changes. While distracting yourself from the unpleasant parts of the process is natural, building healthier coping mechanisms, like prioritizing self-care, is better for your long-term success.

While you can get away with avoiding your feelings for a while, eventually, you need to acknowledge each one so you can move on. If you don’t work through those difficult emotions, your ignored feelings will come out sideways at just the wrong time. It is better to work through your grief privately than to fall apart during an interview or snap at someone who is trying to help you.

Step 2: Review Your Finances

Disclaimer:

While I know quite a bit based on my previous work experience supporting financial coaches, my own research, and my personal life experiences, I do not currently hold a license or certification to give financial advice. Therefore, the information provided here is educational information provided as guidance.

I hope you can glean value from my lessons learned. Feel free to take my recommendations or not—but whatever you do, double-check my information (and everyone's facts, for that matter). This is your life, and you will care more about your finances and health care than anyone else. With that, read on.

Possible Money From Your Former Employer

Although your paychecks will eventually stop, you will receive your final paycheck, possibly vacation time that you have earned and, hopefully, a lovely parting gift from your former employer in the form of a severance package. Severance could be equivalent to a set number of weeks of pay or include an additional lump sum, continuation of some benefits, and job placement services. In most cases, employers do not have to give you any type of severance.

If you are eligible for a severance package, you will need to sign something before receiving that money. Once you sign, any thoughts you might have about legal action regarding your employment with the organization are pretty much over. Read the agreement given to you, consider having a lawyer look it over, and ask for clarifications (and any revisions) before signing it. After that, there is typically a waiting period before you receive that money. I also encourage you not just to sign whatever paper they put in front of you. Make sure you advocate for yourself.

Unemployment Income

After a layoff, most people will be eligible for unemployment insurance income, or UI. I encourage you to apply for unemployment payments. The money used to make unemployment payments comes from the payroll taxes that employers pay. That money is intended to help people who have been laid off to pay their bills as they search for something new.

Unemployment payments are administered at the state level and vary by state. After you apply, there may be a waiting period before you receive a payment. Your state will also outline the amount of each payment you will receive, the number of payments you are eligible to receive, and additional factors impacting your payments. You may also qualify for job search support services and even programs to help you upgrade your skills.

In short, apply for unemployment income right away. In most cases, there is not a good reason for most people to forgo unemployment payments.

A Note About Health Insurance

Since many people rely on their employers for health insurance coverage, consider how you’ll cover healthcare costs. If you have a spouse, domestic partner, or parent who can bring you onto their health insurance, that may be your best option. Check with the other person’s employer and let them know you no longer have health insurance through your employer because of a layoff. Their employer can talk you through your next steps and cost changes.

If that's not an option, consider COBRA coverage through your former employer. This means you could stay with your previous health insurance, but now you'd pay the whole premium cost. Brace yourself when you see your new premium amount because it is usually A LOT more than you spent as an employee.

Another option is going on the insurance exchanges at Healthcare.gov to find coverage. You may even be eligible for a subsidy to offset the cost. Alternatively, for less expensive coverage intended to cover a big expensive medical issue should it happen, short-term health care insurance may be a good interim option. Do your research and determine what makes the most sense for you and your household.

Step 3: Prepare For Your Job Search

Next, plan to launch your search for a new job. Start by thinking about what kind of job you want. Write down job titles, possible employers, and your target salary range. Update your resume to include details about your last position and showcase your unique skillset as it aligns with your target job.

From here, start letting people know your new status of being “in transition” and ask for help. They might be able to introduce you to a valuable business contact, keep an eye out for job openings that meet your needs, and introduce you to a hiring manager looking for someone just like you.

It Will All Work Out. It May Also Take A While.

All told, I’ve had seven workdays that started with lots of obligations then quickly evaporated into unemployment. The good news is that it will all work out. The bad news is that there is a lot of uncertainty between your last day of work and your first day of your fancy new job when it does arrive. Using these tips will set you right as you begin your career transition.

Seven Lessons From Seven Layoffs: A Guide

If you've recently been laid off, check out my book Seven Lessons From Seven Layoffs: A Guide. You can even buy the eBook to get help right now.

In this book, I cover seven lessons from my seven experiences with unplanned job losses. I include my personal stories alongside practical advice for navigating this tumultuous time.

You'll learn strategies for managing your mindset, finding the next right job for you, shaping your career story, and overcoming setbacks.

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Job Search Challenges: Assessments and Company-Specific Projects During the Hiring Process

8/25/2026

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By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

Demonstrating Your Skills

Employers are trying to find someone to solve the unique problems their business has. Recruiters and hiring managers will want to make sure that candidates have the skills and competencies included on their resume. Let's look at a few ways employers might verify candidate abilities during the hiring process.

About Assessments & Work Samples

Depending on the company, the newness of the position, and the level of the role, there may be more to the interview process than talking with all the stakeholders.
Potential employers may want additional assurances that you are able to complete the key functions included in the job posting.

Many employers will verify the information included in your job applicaiton to ensure it is accurate. It is common for a company to confirm your previous employment, certifications, education, and references. It is also common to ask to see previous work samples, often in the form of an online portfolio, for them to get examples of your previous work. For some roles, the organization, or a hiring manager, may ask you to do even more to ensure that you are the best candidate.

These additional steps often include two key components: pre-employment assessments or role-specific projects.

My Experience With Assessments

As a part of a few hiring processes, I’ve been asked to take various tests to assess my tendencies, abilities, and aptitudes. Key focus areas often include problem-solving, strengths, work style, spatial ability, logical thinking, and temperament.

For one role after layoff #7, the first two “interviews” with one organization were online assessments that compared my test results to a role-specific and company-specific ideal profile. For that job opening, I had 2 “interviews” like this and received a rejection email without interacting with actual people. For another hiring process, I took online exams on logical reasoning, general intelligence, and basic math before I was eligible for a phone screen.

Possible Issues With Assessments

As a hiring manager, your goal is to find a candidate who is a great fit for the open position. Assessments can be useful when they are used to verify skills relevant to performing a specific position well.

However, some assessments may be checking for skills not required for a given role. In addition, some assessments are not intended to be used during the hiring process and may introduce irrelevant or biased information into the hiring decision. In addition, while using assessments can help an organization to find better candidates, they may also cause some potential candidates to opt out of the process.

My Experiences: Work Samples & Small Assignments

As someone who works in the field of learning and development, I expect a potential employer to ask to see my portfolio. During the application process, they often ask for a link to an online collection of work samples. Sometimes, during an interview, an employer will ask me to "talk them through" my portfolio and highlight examples of a specific skill that they find particularly relevent. Alternatively, the hiring manager may commit to looking at my work samples later and ask which ones they should focus on to get the best sense of my skills.

Since I often work in roles where I present in front of groups, I am always ready to make a 10 minute presentation to the hiring team. While most interviewers let me know a presentation is expected, I have also had people ask me during the interview if I could "teach them something" right then.

For higher level roles, I've often been asked to create a "back of the napkin" plan for how I would onboard myself to the new organization. For example, for a Learning & Development Manager role where I would create the learnign function from the ground up, I was asked to create a 30-60-90 day plan outlining what I would do to get to know the organization and prioritize projects.

My Experiences: Interview-Specific Projects

For some roles, the projects have become much more time intensive and elaborate. In my experience, companies may ask for custom work samples based on the role being new, the role being pivotal to future success, the company having a history of them not finding the "right" person for a similar role.

Here are a few examples of the more involved projects and work sampels I've been asked to create as a part of the hiring process:

For a learning consultant role, I was tasked with creating an innovative plan for employee onboarding for new contractors and full-time employees. For this project, I designed a pitch deck to garner buy-in from stakeholders on the solution. I delivered that presentation to a group including the hiring manager, additional managers, and team members. I also designed a blended learning solution that leveraged subject matter presenters and accommodated people having distributed locations and start dates.
For a newly created learning manager role, in addition to a 30-60 day onboarding plan for myself, I was tasked with creating a list of the equipment, software, subscriptions, and additional resources needed to begin creating educational videos for the organization.

For an educational program manager role, I was tasked with creating an innovative onboarding program to teach new full-time staff about company products. I designed a new hire career fair with multiple tables showcasing different products, complete with a passport for trainees to collect stamps. Those trainees who visited each table and filled out their passports were enrolled in a prize drawing for a bigger company-branded prize. They also flew me across the country to deliver this idea to the rest of the team in person.
For a training director role, during the initial application, I answered several essay questions along with my resume and a cover letter. Later in the interview process, after taking two professional assessments, I was also tasked with these three projects:
- Complete data analysis and make three recommendations for next steps to improve the sales and customer satisfaction for three currently available courses.
- Create a project plan showcase my project plannign acumen. I created a 6-page document outlining roles, responsibilities, project objectives, the decision-making processes, core dependencies, timelines, and budget.
- Project future staffing needs and supporting budget based on current workload, job titles, staffing levels, and projected future needs.
For another training director role, I signed a non-disclosure agreement and was asked to design a section of a course for one of the company's current clients. I also completed a half-day of work (unpaid) in their office. That "in box experience" included running an internal meeting, doing additional work on one of their current projects, meeting with external clients, and presenting my proposed solution to the client.

Issues With Interview-Specific Projects

In the abstract, I’ve seen many people bluster on social media about what they absolutely will never do as part of a job interview process. I also know that the decision feels much different when you're in career transition than when you are gainfully employed. It's a lot harder to hold firm to your boundaries when you are just certain that going the extra mile now will give you and edge and help you land that job.

It's hard enough when you feel like you had a good phone screen and don't get invited back the next round. It's a whole new level of job search agony when you jump through hoop after hoop and learn that you were not selected. In fact, in all of these cases, I did not get the job. In one case, I got an offer that was later rescinded (because start-ups). In the final example listed--which also included 10 interviews, me reading the book written by the company's founder, and the aforementioned half day of work from me--the organization opted not to fill the position at all.

My Insights On Company-Specific Projects

I also have a few additional insights from all of these company-specific I have completed for this laundry list of jobs I did not get.

By the time I was doing more elaborate company-specific projects, I was in the final round of interviews for these jobs.
Much of the work I completed specifically as a part of these interview processes I now include in my professional portfolio.
I often built relationships with people at those organizations which will help me in the future.
I always had lessons learned from each of those experiences about how I now approach conversations about a new role with potential employers.
I found important boundaries that will serve me well in the future.
I identified a few key red flags I now use to evaluate companies, job opportunities, and hiring managers.

My Lessons Learned and Future Strategies

Decide in advance how much time you are willing to spend completing projects as part of the job application process. For example, would you be okay with 1, 2, or 5 hours of project work to demonstrate your skills? Determine the maximum hours of work you are willing to do before you are in front of a potential employer. This will help you make a better decision when the situation arises. Only you can decide how much unpaid work you’re willing to do for any given job.
Think about how you might communicate your boundaries during the interview process. You might commit to a specific number of hours of work, offer to do paid work for a reduced hourly rate, or decide to withdraw. Thinking about this before an actual situation is presented to you will help you make a better decision when the question comes up for you.

Consider having a conversation with the hiring manager. Typically, I've been pretty far along in the hiring process before custom projects became part of the equation. If you are a strong candidate, and know what you are and aren't willing to do, having a frank conversation with a hiring manager could help resolve the issue.
Assess the projected workload against your interest and likelihood of getting the job. You may need to revisit your previously made decision at the time the work is presented. As you are closer to the final stage in the hiring process, you may be more willing to take part in a project. Know that your decision on what or how much to do will vary with each opportunity.

What Do You Think?

What are your personal guidelines for how much time you will spend creating custom work samples during the interview process for a given job? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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How To Create Your Professional Portfolio in Five Easy Steps

8/18/2026

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By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

Where Do I Even Start?

If you work in an industry where potential employers want to see examples of your previous work, putting together a portfolio is a good idea. As someone who works in the field of learning and development, I know that it's valuable for me to have additional evidence to prove that I actually have all of those skills I brag so much about on my resume. Whether you're job searching or building your overall career resilience and opportunity readiness, having an online portfolio is a good step to take.

Like any new endeavor, figuring out where to start can be challenging. There are countless options, and even more opinions, on what the ideal portfolio looks like. Here is my five-step process for helping you to create a portfolio that works for you.

Step 1: Identify Your Goals

This is the step you might be tempted to skip. However, if you don't take a little time to figure out what you're trying to accomplish with your portfolio, you most certainly won't reach your goals.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself to help you clarify what you want:

Who do you want to see your portfolio?
When do you want them to access your portfolio?
Which of your skills do you want to showcase?
What stories are you trying to tell?

Depending on your answers to these questions, your goals may include one or more of the following:

Have work samples available on-demand.
Share lessons learned with select people.
Tell the story of past projects.
Showcase evidence of specific work skills.
Support a job search.
Build opportunity readiness.

The answers to these questions will influence your portfolio creation choices.

Step 2: Decide What To Include

The specific content you include in your portfolio will depend on your overall goals. In my chosen field of learning and development, here are a few of the kinds of work samples I might want to include:

Communications plan
eLearning module
Facilitator guide
Job aid
Learning strategy document
PowerPoint presentation
Project plan
Storyboard
Technical documentation
Video
Webinar recording

Remember, your portfolio is not just about the documents you include. It's also about the story you tell about how you solved a problem and how the artifact you include supports that narrative.

Step 3: Gather Work Samples

Once you have identified your goals and thought about the skillset you want to showcase, it's time to choose the specific documents you will include. Here are a few possibilities for locating or creating your actual work samples:

Class projects
Previous work (anonymized as needed)
Projects completed for other organizations
Publicly available resources
Re-creations of past work
Sample projects
Work samples created as a part of a hiring process

Whether you have existing documents you used in previous roles, re-create samples similar to past work projects, or re-purpose project documents created as part of another interview process, determine what you will include.

Step 4: Choose and Implement Technology

Since you are creating an online portfolio, choosing the underlying technology is an important step. While there are countless options available, here are three viable choices to consider:

A file-sharing platform: Using Google Drive, DropBox, or OneDrive is a way to stand up a portfolio quickly. You can enable sharing for anyone with the link or set permissions for each person who you might want to access your work. If you have a Gmail account, you already have access to Google Drive without any extra cost.
A Canva portfolio: Canva includes templates to create a free portfolio. Canva provides video tutorials and several examples from which to choose. Overall, this is a website with a specific focus. While there will be a bit of a learning curve to set up the site, you'll also have additional options for including the story behind each work sample instead of just a list of documents.
A website: While most people think of WordPress when they think of website creation, tools like Weebly and Wix have free options with more user-friendly interfaces. You can create a website with multiple pages or a page on an existing website accessible by a direct link. Websites have various options, meaning you have more control over how you create a site but have many more decisions to make upfront.

Step 5: Share Your Portfolio.

Depending on your goals, you may have your portfolio as a website that someone could discover on their own or a link that can only be accessed after you share it with someone. Regardless of your portfolio format, there are a few cases where you will proactively share your portfolio link:

In a job application.
Included with your contact information in your LinkedIn profile.
As a link at the top of your resume or cover letter document shared online.
In an email to a colleague or hiring manager.

Make Your Portfolio 1.0

At this point, you may be excited about all the possibilities and overwhelmed with uncertainty. Here's my recommendation for creating at least a starter portfolio for yourself.

If needed, create a Gmail account, then access Google Drive.
Create a folder called [FirstName] [LastName] Portfolio. In my case, Brenda Peterson Portfolio.
Upload six documents you created that showcase your skills.
Set sharing options to view only and copy the link for later use.

Congratulations. You now have a portfolio. Take a week off from looking at it, and then make an appointment with yourself to revisit your portfolio goals and next steps.

What Do You Think?

What goals and design choices did you make with your online portfolio? Include your thoughts in the comments.

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Work Samples and Portfolios: Your Why and Your Goals

8/11/2026

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By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

Thinking Through Your Why

When creating an online portfolio, identifying what you are trying to accomplish is a great place to start. Depending on your wants, needs, industry, and timeline for completion, your portfolio could take any number of forms. Thinking it through now will help you to create a portfolio that meets your short and longer-term goals.

Identifying Your Portfolio Goals

Here are a few questions to ask yourself as you determine your portfolio goals:

What is your main purpose for having a portfolio? Do you need work samples to show hiring managers? Are you interested in sharing examples of websites you've built to entice potential clients to want to work with you? Is it just because someone told me I should have one? Figure out your why, then plan accordingly.
Who is your primary audience? Who specifically are you creating this for? Answers may include recruiters, hiring managers, potential employers, or people who may be looking for a freelancer.

Who are your additional audiences? Who else might you want to access your portfolio? Perhaps the main goal is to share this with hiring managers, but a secondary goal is to share it with a colleague looking for ideas.
What would you like your primary audience to learn about you from your portfolio? Is your goal to show your wide range of skills? Are you trying to do a deeper dive into your whole work process by sharing details on one comprehensive project? Do you want to show how you've used project management principles by highlighting projects in three very different industries? Choose your focus, then create accordingly.
How much context or positioning does each work sample need? Can your primary audience just look at a work sample and garner what they need? If not, what context is needed, and how can you provide that?
How and when do you want to share your work samples? Do you want them readily available? Does a potential employer ask you to include a link when you apply? Can you share work samples as needed? Would you prefer a URL that not just anyone can access?
How fancy does it need to be? This will help you decide what technology to use, your budget, and your minimum viable product (MVP).
What is your level of commitment? Consciously decide how much time, energy, brainpower, and money you are willing to dedicate right away and on an ongoing basis to creating your portfolio.

My Portfolio Lessons Learned

A few years ago, when applying for jobs, I realized I needed an online portfolio to show hiring managers supporting evidence that I could use the learning and development skills included in my resume. I looked at job descriptions for training leadership roles that interested me and noted the specific keywords and skills that were most often included.

From there, I chose work samples to showcase those identified skills. For each sample, I included a brief introduction to position the value of each artifact. I shared a project plan, a pitch deck promoting a company-wide change, a facilitator guide, and microlearning videos on technical, soft skills, and business-related topics.

From a technology standpoint, my portfolio was a hidden page on my existing website. That portfolio page was non-searchable and not listed in website navigation, but it was available directly through the page's web address. As needed, I could include that URL on my resume, email it to hiring managers, or include it in an online job application.

What Do You Think?

What are your goals for your portfolio? What kind of content do you think it makes sense for you to include? As you are comfortable, share your ideas in the comments.

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Work Samples and Portfolios: Getting Started

8/4/2026

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By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

About Portfolios

Depending on your chosen field, you may be asked to submit work samples at some point during the hiring process. The collection of examples of your work product is often called a portfolio. The content of your portfolio will vary depending on your goals, your industry, and the type of roles for which you are applying.

Portfolios in Days of Yore

Earlier in my career, I had my "me book" that I woudl bring with me when I had in-person job interviews. It was a three ring binder the included neatly organized printed samples of my previous work. I did not give this to a hiring manager, but I would do a brief show and tell and explain each document. In addition, I also included a copy of my resume, certificates from classes I had taken and certifications I had achieved, and transcripts from college and graduate school.

When I attended and interview with a hiring manager or potential coworkers, often someone would ask if I happend to bring any work samples with me. I would often walk them through one or more of my work samples, described the design decisions involved in its creation, and told them the story of how I solved a work problem and how that work sample fit in.

Portfolios Now

Now, typically a portfolio is expected to be available online. You should have a link that you can share with a potential employer. In some cases, employer may review your work samples later on in the hiring process. Many times, employers may ask for a portfolio link during the application process. Depending on the role and organization, companies may even not consider applications for some jobs which do not include a portfolio link.

What To Include

When it comes to determining what to include in your portfolio, it comes down to your overall goals. At it's most basic, you need to make sure you include samples of your work that align with the tasks and projects included in the jobs you would like to do. Here are a few examples:

If you are a web designer, you may include a brief description of three websites designed, unique featurs of each, and URLs for each of those sites.
If you are an eLearning developer, you may include a few examples of eLearning courses you created leveraging different technologies and topics. Perhaps you would would share a Rise course on a new process, a video on customer service skills, and an online assessment on an industry-specific compliance topic.
If you are a software trainer, you may share a webinar recording of you facilitating a software training session, a video where you did the voiceover and were on-camera, and a job aid you made including tips and tricks.

Overall, you need to figure out what skills are required, and show examples of how you have done that type of work in the past.

What You Can Showcase

Your overall goals for your portfolio will help you determine what to include. Depending on what skillset you are trying to demonstrate, here are just a few of many possible focus areas for someone who is an instructional designer:

Show skill mastery. Include lessons from eLearning modules created in the same technology, but demonstrating different features and how they can be used for varying types of content like compliance, customer service, delivering presentations, and completing a process.
Show range. Include a video, an eLearning module, a job aid, a quick reference guide, and a facilitator guide created to support a team responsibile for customer-facing new product training.
Show a project: Show the process and materials created to do initial training needs assessment, course design, creating course materials, facilitating learning, and results.

None of these examples is right or wrong. Instead these are alternate approaches you might want to take to support your overall professional goals.

What Do You Think?

What skills do you want to showcase in a portfolio? What skills and work examples might you include? What approach might you take to organizing your portfolio? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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Asking for Help Using LinkedIn Messaging

7/21/2026

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By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

Messaging With Your Connections

One of the benefits of having connections on LinkedIn is that you can directly send them messages without having a paid subscription. However, this feature has also been used poorly on several occasions. Let's look at how to use LinkedIn messaging effectively to continue building professional relationships and provide some guidelines for how to use this feature well.

The Value of Mutually Beneficial Relationships

To have a valuable professional newtork, make sure those relationships are mutually beneficial. Networking is about give and take. Make sure that you are adding value along the way. This includes sharing useful content, congratulating people on their accomplishments, and answering one-off questions when people ask for advice. In short, be a good LinkedIn neighbor. If you give more than you take, your LinkedIn connections will be more likely to help you when you need it.

Messages That Add Value

When directly contacting your LinkedIn connections, make sure you are not overfocused on asking for favors. It is important to provide value first. Here are a few types of messages that give more than they take:

Wishing them a happy holiday
Congratulating them on a promotion, job, degree, personal milestone, or accomplishment
Thanking them for sharing useful content that helped you personally
Thanking them for helping people in general
Checking on them to see how they are
Telling them it was nice seeing them at an in-person or online event
Following up on a previous topic of conversation
Offering help on one of your areas of expertise
Sharing a resource, article, or piece of information that would benefit them

Make sure you are not THAT PERSON who only reaches out when they need a favor.

Direct Asks For Help: Worst Practices

Asking for help is an art. First, you need to be willing to ask for help. Next, you need to craft your ask in a way that you have a higher likelihood of getting that help.
Here are a few significant issues I’ve seen from people attempting to ask for job search help:

Connect and pitch
Making a big ask early on
Making a vague ask
Making an ask that is disproportionate to how well you know someone
Making frequent asks
Being aggressive in asks
Re-asking too many times
Not being able to hear no
Being angry if they don’t get what they want

The Worst Asks

Here are a three questions that may not get you much of a response:

Can you get me a job at your company?
Can you introduce me to people?
If you hear of any openings, let me know.

Why are these not good asks? For one, these are big requests that require a lot of effort to do well. For example:

I’m not going to magically get you a job at my company. Being hired isn't quite as simple as that.
I’m also not going to go through my list of professional contacts, prioritize who I think you should meet, and facilitate multiple introductions.
I will also not be your personal job searcher and send you roles—partly because there is no guarantee that my assumptions based on our past experience working together will align with your current job search goals.

Direct Asks For Help: Better Practices

Here are a few better asks, but may only work with connections who you know very well and who you have helped in the past:

Would you review my resume?
Would you review my LinkedIn profile?
Would you refer me for a position at your company?
Would you pass my resume on to your connection, the hiring manager?
Would you meet with me for 30 minutes to discuss [a professional topic]?

These requests are specific, which is better, but each is still a sizeable request. The first two may be time intensive. The next two involve your connection putting their reputation on the line to recommend you for a role. The final one requires a block of time on your connection's calendar. Depending on our interactions prior to these requests, their response may vary from “of course!” to no response at all.

Again, remember to make sure your asks are aligned with how well you know one another.

Direct Asks for Help: Best Practices

Asks are better when they are more specific and less time intensive. It’s also helpful if there is context. Here are a few asks that are more likely to get responses. The requests earlier in this list are more likely to get a response.

I just made a job search post on LinkedIn. Would you be willing to visit the post [link here] and like, comment on, or share this post to help me boost my signal?
I’m considering applying for the Associate Project Manager position with Super Cool Company. How do you like working there? Would you recommend it as a workplace?
I am working on a career transition from being a software trainer to a project manager. What do you like about your current role as a project manager? What skills would help me in that role?
I am working on a career transition from being a software trainer to a project manager. I see you’re connected to Alonzo Johnson, a project manager with Super Cool Company. Would you be willing to facilitate an introduction between us on LinkedIn?
I’m considering applying for the Associate Project Manager position with Super Cool Company. As I get my application materials together, I’d appreciate your insights on the company and how to position myself for success. Would you be willing to have a 15-minute phone call sometime over the next week to talk?
I’m considering applying for the Associate Project Manager position with Super Cool Company. As I get my application materials together, I’d appreciate your insights on the company and how to position myself for success. Would you be willing to have a 30-minute virtual coffee zoom meeting sometime over the next week?
I’m considering applying for the Associate Project Manager position with Super Cool Company. As I get my application materials together, I’d appreciate your insights on the company and how to position myself for success. Would you be willing to meet for a coffee at the local coffee shop of your choosing? The first cup is on me!

People Get To Say No

Remember, when you are asking for help, people will tell you no. More likely than telling you a direct no, they may just not respond. Ever. Keep in mind that job searching, like sales, means that you're going to hear a whole lot of no on the way to that one yes you need. When you need a specific thing, it's useful to ask multiple people for help to give you a better chance of getting a response. It's also not personal. We're each on LinkedIn using it to varying degrees and all trying to accomplish our own goals.

Making sure that you are making the relationships mutually beneficial will make it much more likely that people will respond to you and want to lend you a hand when you need it.

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Interview Follow Up: Thank You Notes

7/14/2026

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by Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

Adding Value Through Communication

It’s amazing how much of the job search process involves waiting to hear back and trying to communicate with the hiring team in a way that adds value. One easy way to strengthen your relationship with the hiring team is by sending a thank you note. While you could send a paper thank you note, I usually opt for a thank you email message given the prevalence of virtual interactions.

But Why?

During the interview process, your main goal is to position yourself as someone who would be an excellent direct report to the hiring manager and an awesome team member for your future coworkers. One easy way to be more likable is to be grateful and appreciative of people and their time. Sending a thank you email is a great way to do just that.

Thank You Message Basics

Sending a thank you message is another chance for your interviewers to see your name and have a positive experience with you. Who doesn’t like to be thanked for doing a thing?

Here are key details to include in your post-interview thank you message:

Their first name
Names of other people in your interview
That you are still interested in the role
The position for which you applied and when you interviewed
Your contact information

Here’s the core content to include in a thank you message:

Hi, Peter.

Thanks so much for meeting with me earlier this week to discuss the Super Cool Support Manager position with Best Company Ever. It was great getting a chance to talk with you, Paul, and Mary about the support team and this opportunity. I am definitely interested in learning even more about the role.

If you have additional questions, feel free to contact me via email at [email protected] or via text/phone at 555-555-5555.

Thanks again!

--Brenda

Next Level Thank You Message Magic

In addition to the basic message, without writing a full-on manifesto, take the time to add a little more relevant information. This is an excellent opportunity to add more details and value to the interaction. This will also help make you more memorable. Here are a few suggested points to cover:

Include something you discussed during the conversation or detail they mentioned about themselves or the role.
Send a separate thank you email to each of your interviewers. Add details specific to each person.
Include a list of skills you bring to the table.
Include work samples or follow up on any questions they had during your interview.
Share a resource to follow up on a topic you discussed.

Here's what the message to the hiring manager might look like:

Hi, Peter.

Thanks so much for meeting with me earlier this week to discuss the Super Cool Support Manager position with Best Company Ever. It was great talking with you, Paul, and Mary about the support team and this opportunity. Learning about your new knowledge base and help desk ticket prioritization model was great. I’m excited to join an organization committed to documentation and continuous process improvement.

As we discussed, here are a few relevant skills I bring to the table:

Technical writing and setting up knowledge base categories and hierarchies
Implementing informal mentoring programs
Leveraging projects as developmental opportunities for call center staff
A methodology for keeping KB articles current

In addition, here is the link to the article I mentioned entitled “18 Knowledge Base Examples That Get It Right." Chapter 9 in this article covers some of the metrics we were discussing:

https://www.helpscout.com/helpu/knowledge-base-examples/

If you have additional questions, please feel free to contact me via email at [email protected] or by text/phone at 555-555-5555.

It was great getting a chance to talk with you—and I hope you have a great time on your fly-fishing trip this weekend!

--Brenda

Here's what a message to one of your future coworkers, Mary, might look like:

Hi, Mary.

It was great meeting you earlier this week to discuss the Super Cool Support Manager position with Best Company Ever. I enjoyed talking with you, Paul, and Peter about the support team and this opportunity. My experience working at Not Quite As Cool Company will help me add value to the team.

I also hope you have fun on your upcoming trip to Minneapolis. As a fellow coffee lover, I suggest you stop at Dogwood Coffee Company. It’s honestly the best cup of coffee I’ve ever had and well worth the trip. It sounds like you’ll be staying not too far from their Northeast location. Here is the address:

https://www.dogwoodcoffee.com/pages/locations

If you have additional questions for me (professional or coffee related), feel free to contact me via email at [email protected] or via text/phone at 555-555-5555.

Thanks again!

--Brenda

Thank You Note Timing

I used to quickly send thank you messages right after I completed an interview. That way, the message would arrive in each person's inbox within a half hour after our conversation.

Now, I wait until the next day, or even two days, to send the thank you. This puts time between our initial conversation and when they get this "remember me--I exist, and I'm awesome" message. Much like commercials, ads, or billboards remind you of the existence of a product or service you might want, I used my thank you messages as a second touchpoint with that person.

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Learning About Yourself to Tell Your Story: Values

7/7/2026

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By Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

Learning About Yourself

When thinking about the life you want to live, it's essential to start with what is truly important to you. Identifying those guiding principles will help you make decisions about how you budget your money, which people you will surround yourself with, and what type of work is right for you. Finding the words to express your values can help you live in alignment and increase your overall wellbeing. Let's look at where you can start.

The Question: What is Important to Me?

In the abstract, it can be hard to figure out what really matters to you. It's even harder trying to convert your thoughts and feelings into words that can help you express what is meaningful to you. Fortunately, there is a tool you can use as a starting point to help you find the right words.

Part of the Answer: think2perform Values Exercise

At a previous job, when designing a retirement planning seminar, I discovered the think2perform Online Values Exercise. I take this assessment on at least an annual basis. Even though the words that resonate with me stay very similar over time, the process helps me revisit what matters to me most at that point in time.

The assessment includes 51 value cards and four rounds of reviewing the cards. The total time to complete this activity is about 15 minutes or more, depending on how much contemplation you do. In the end, you'll have five value cards remaining with descriptions that name and describe key areas that matter to you.

The Words You Choose May Change Over Time

I have completed this values exercise multiple times. My results vary depending on what is happening in the rest of my life right then. The words that have remained in my top five consistently over time are autonomy, relationships, and health.

When lilfe has felt unpredictable, words like stability, security, and safety have moved up. Similarly, since work is such an important part of my life, there is always a word directly related to what I do for a living. In the past, terms like work, education, or helping others indicated what work meant to me at that time.

Applying Your Values To Your Life

In the final phase of the values activity, I thought very hard about which words were the best guiding principles for me. Here are the values that resonated with me this time around.

Happiness is defined as feelings of contentment, satisfaction, or fulfillment. After a few challenge-filled years, now I'm creating my new normal. I appreciate what I have and feel good about my progress. I appreciate things others might consider simple, from alone time to quiet yoga, writing, and a good cup of coffee.
Autonomy is defined as freedom, independence, and individual discretion. Autonomy is about options and my ability to choose my path. It’s as simple as picking which day I want to go to an exercise class, deciding how to spend my free time, and which project to work on when. I enjoy being in a place in life where I’m less overscheduled and more empowered to direct my time.
Meaningful work is defined as doing work that has purpose and significance. My work is not just my paid work for a company helping promote learning and development. In addition, it's everything I do for The Layoff Lady. During my last career transition, I feel like I reclaimed what work is for me. Now, my meaningful work includes writing this article on values, thinking about what I'll talk about on an upcoming podcast, and outlining a book on career resilience. I love doing work that leverages my knowledge, enables me to grow, and helps others.
Relationships is defined as connections between and among people. I appreciate my husband, college-age daughter, two cranky cats, family, and friends. I also value my coworkers, neighbors, the people I interact with on an ordinary day, and the human connection we all share.
Health is defined as physical and emotional wellbeing. Having been around people with health and mobility issues, my health is vital to me. I do yoga daily to increase my flexibility and balance. Roller skating combines speed, agility, music, and fun for me. Walking outside helps me with idea generation and clearing my head. Being mindful of nutrition, sleep, physical activity, and my energy levels dramatically enhances my life.

Applying Your Values To Your Work

Be sure to use your values as you consider the type of work you want to do and the workplace environment that will help you succeed.

For me, happiness at work means I have a reasonable commute, an inviting office, and various projects. It also means I can work from home sometimes and have in-person meetings other times. It's also having challenging but not impossible work and growth opportunities.
For me, autonomy at work means I have choices. If I have a later-in-the-day webinar, I can head out early and attend that meeting from home. I can take a break during the day and walk around the block to clear my head as I work on a challenging project. I can also leave early if I have an appointment or work later when I’m hitting flow.
For me, meaningful work means that what I'm doing makes a difference. I can talk with a people leader about an issue within their department and coach them on a technique that could help. I can ask people what areas of job searching are struggles and create articles on that topic. I can also assess the skills people need to build and find unique ways for them to develop their proficiency.
For me, relationships at work mean I can get to know people in a meaningful way. I may run a meeting on a topic in my area of expertise and learn something else from a subject matter expert. I get to interact with people at lunch or just work side by side and help one another as needed. I get a chance to know my coworkers as professionals and as people.
For me, health at work means what I do is intellectually stimulating and the environment is positive. I have a supportive boss who wants me to be successful and gives me feedback to help me improve. I can choose to stand and work for a while, then sit to work on something else. People say hi and are inclusive, so I feel like part of the group.

What Do You Think?

How do your values influence your career decisions? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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Interview Preparation: The Initial Phone Screen

6/30/2026

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Hooray! You Have an Interview!

After goodness knows how many applications, FINALLY, you have heard back from a company who wants to talk with you! There is hope after all! Welcome to what is often step one of the interview process: the phone screen.

Remember, each company may handle their interview process just a little differently. Regardless, some version of a phone screen is the starting point. A phone screen can be anywhere from the basic 30-minute voice-only call where they make sure you can speak coherently and understand what you applied for all the way up to a full-blown deep dive into your resume. Typically, you'll be speaking with a recruiter, not the hiring manager, at this point in the process.

In this article, we'll talk about the more basic initial phone screen, how to prepare, and typical questions asked.

...And So It Begins: Message From a Recruiter

In many cases, a recruiter will reach out to you directly to schedule a phone screen through email. Many companies are using a scheduling program (like Calendly) so you can select a time that works for you. If this is the case, I would suggest taking a slot as soon as you can get in and comfortably complete the interview. For me, that would be the next day if possible.

In other cases, you may receive a phone call from a recruiter that invites a callback. In these cases, they may be asking to schedule a phone interview with you, or they may just launch right into the phone screen while they have you on a call. Personally, I'll usually do my interview preparation before making that initial phone call back to the recruiter just in case they want to do it right then and there.

Interview Prep: Questions

Don't let the supposed informality of a phone call fool you. This is for reals an interview. You need to be ready to make a good impression. Here are the phone screen interview questions that you need to be ready to answer. Keep these in mind as you research the role, the company, and your interviewer. (We'll talk more about answering these questions well in a bit.)

Here are the most common questions I have experienced on a phone screen:

Is this still a good time for us to talk?
Tell me about yourself.
Why are you looking for a new job?
Why are you interested in this role?
What do you know about our company?
What is your desired salary?
What questions do you have for me?

Interview Prep: The Role

Given that you may have applied for many, many jobs since the one for which you are interviewing, it's important to refamiliarize yourself with this role. Make sure that when you speak to your interviewer, you are positioning yourself as a strong candidate who is able to do (and wants to do) this specific job.

Review the job description. Remind yourself of what you applied for, the title, and what they indicated were the desired qualifications.
Get out your Googles: Look up any acronyms you aren't sure of, and make sure you can speak to the skills they say they need. Be ready to speak in the terms they use in the job description and relate your experience to that particular job.
Skim your resume. If you customize your resume for each role, it's good to reacquaint yourself with how you described your skills in this specific resume. This review will also help you use the points you included in your resume as a basis for the stories you'll tell to illustrate your skills.

Interview Prep: The Company and Your Interviewer

Now that you remember what the role is about, take time to learn more about the company. Remember, you're learning information to help you present yourself well, answer questions about the company and what they do, and even know about current initiatives and news about the organization.

Check out the company on LinkedIn. Note the industry they are in, what their products and services are, their size, headquarters location, and their recent posts. If you haven't done so already, follow their company page.
Visit the company’s website. Take a look at their mission, vision, and values. See what press releases are on their site and any awards they may have received. Look at their marketing materials. Review information on their leaders. Consider signing up for their newsletter.
View your interviewer's LinkedIn profile. Do this the day before or the day of your interview. Note the schools they attended, where they currently live, their work history, and any posts they may have made, and any LinkedIn connections you share. This is a great way to find out what you and your interviewer might have in common so you can have a more robust conversation. Consider following your interviewer on LinkedIn.
Reach out to connections. If you know anyone who is a current or recent employee, reach out and ask about their first-hand experience.

Interview Prep: Your Answers

Now, back to those questions and strategies for answering each one.

Is this still a good time for us to talk?

Ideally, the answer is yes. This is a courtesy question recruiters often ask.

Tell me about yourself.

This is your opportunity to tell the recruiter a quick summary of your professional history and the unique knowledge, skills, and attitudes you bring to this role.

Bad answer: Not much to tell.
Another bad answer: My name is Julie. I'm 42 years old, happily married, have 4-year-old twins, love riding horses, and volunteer weekly at my synagogue.
(Note: Julie's life is in no way bad. Julie's answer is bad because it does not focus on professional skills, the ability to do the job, and why the employer should hire her. Taking this approach misses a HUGE opportunity to set the tone for the interview and put your best foot forward. Instead, Julie shares a whole bunch of information that is not directly applicable to her ability to do the job--much of which an employer cannot legally ask her about due to laws regarding possible discrimination.)
Good answer: I'm Julie, and I have ten years of experience in social media specialist roles with small community organizations. I'm excited about this role because I can use my knowledge of content marketing and event promotion with a larger company that does larger conferences and road shows. I'm looking forward to finding out how my skill set could help me make a strong contribution in this senior media specialist role.

Why are you looking for a new job?

Companies are interested in why you want to make a change. They might also be leery if they perceive that you have made many changes within a short time. They may be wondering if how they are promoting the position is working. They may just want to see if you trash your previous/current employer or are respectful. Again, be truthful, stay positive, and keep it short.

Bad answer: My last company was a financial nightmare and I got fired.
Another bad answer: My current job is stupid and I hate my boss.
Good answer: I'm looking for a role with additional growth opportunities.
Another good answer: My former co-worker, Alexander Nevermind is currently a Super Important Person at Super Cool Company, and thought I would be a good fit for this role.
Yet another good answer: My previous position ended, so I'm looking for a new challenge.

Why are you interested in this role?

Companies often want to make sure you actually want the available position, not just any old job. Speaking about why you want to work in this particular role is a way to show you are being intentional about your next career move. This question also allows you to talk about who you are, what you know about the role, and the skills you bring.

Bad answer: Which job is this again?
Another bad answer: I need a job. You have an opening. Isn't that enough?
Yet another bad answer: My current job is stupid and I hate my boss.
Good answer: My recent work experience is as a marketing coordinator with a large pharmaceutical company. I have extensive experience creating and executing marketing campaigns aligned with product launches. I'm interested in this role because it involves those duties and additional areas where I have expertise. I am excited to grow in this new role.
Another good answer: My work experience is as a technical project manager. Joey Coco is a former coworker of mine, and he suggested I apply because it aligns with the work I enjoy. Joey also can't say enough good things about your company.

What do you know about our company?

Each company has its own personality. This question shows that you, as a job candidate, are a good fit for the organization and that you've taken the time to learn a little more.

Bad answer: Which job is this again?
Another bad answer: Not a thing.
Good answer: XYZ Loans is a mortgage company focusing on VA and FHA loans. I see you recently rolled out a new veteran appreciation program and hired a new VP of Veteran Relations and that you just received an award for your charity work with DAV.
Another good answer: I know ABC Manufacturing just acquired CBA Manufacturing. This makes you the second-largest company making and selling plastic cups in the Midwest. I also know that my friend and former coworker, Jamie Starr, really enjoys being a part of the Women in Manufacturing group you started three years ago.

What is your desired salary?

While having salary ranges in job descriptions is becoming more common, it is not included in all job descriptions. Often, this question comes up very early in the process. You need to have a sense of your desired range and what is a typical range for the type of role for which you are interviewing.

Bad answer: I have no idea.
Good answer: What is the salary range for this position? (and following that up with a conversation about where your desired range fits in with that range.)
Another good answer: My general salary range is [low end of your range] to [high end of your range]. I'd like to revisit this topic as I learn more about the position, including bonus and benefits.

What questions do you have for me?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. Given that you have a job description and not much else about this role at this point, take time to think about questions to ask. There are also countless lists online of possible questions you could review. Google them and see which ones seem right for you. Remember, too, that some of these questions might be more appropriate for the hiring manager than the recruiter. (If you continue in the hiring process, you'll meet with the hiring manager soon.)

Bad answer: Nope.
Good answers:
- Is this a new position? Or a replacement role?
- What does success look like for this role?
- What are the first projects this role would tackle?
- What are the next steps in the hiring process?
- When can I expect to hear back from you?
- What is your performance review process like?

What Do You Think?

What questions do you prepare for when getting ready for a phone screen? Include your thoughts in the comments.

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Growing Your Professional Network: Attending Webinars

6/23/2026

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by Brenda L. Peterson, The Layoff Lady

Network Building in the Beforetimes

Pre-pandemic, "networking" typically meant attending in-person events, shaking a few hands, and having a somewhat meaningful conversation with another human. While in-person opportunities are again plentiful, webinars continue to be popular since they are a flexible way to bring people together to learn. Be sure to think of your network during virtual events, too.

Connect with Webinar Attendees

Like many people, I have attended (and delivered) approximately a bijillion online meetings, trainings, and interactive instructor-led sessions. I've been approaching these sessions with a mind towards not just attending, but also making new connections. Although the process differs from in-person interaction with people, I have managed to connect with more people (and often form more meaningful connections) than attending in-person meetings and “working the room.” As someone who is introverted by nature, and communicates effectively in writing, this was an opportunity to turn webinars into a bonus network-building exercise.

Your Personal Webinar Branding

When attending a webinar, I make sure that people are able to see who I am, my full name, and a picture, if at all possible. I use the same photo I use on LinkedIn so that people associate me with that picture. I also make sure that my first and last name are present so people have a chance of being able to find me after the session--or will recognize my name.

In addition, during the webinar, I interact during the session. This usually involves commenting in the chat when prompted--which is also an opportunity for other attendees to see my full name. During any small group interactions, I'm sure to turn my camera on so people can see my face, hear my voice, and see my name. If the presenter asks people to share out loud, I usually turn on my camera, and share my thoughts. Again, this is another opportunity for people to hear my voice, see my face, and see my name. Each of these "impressions" helps people start to get to know me at least a little bit.

Finding Potential Connections

During a webinar, I often take a screenshot of the participant list and a gallery of attendees if people are on camera. Whenever possible, download the chat from the session. This helps me identify who was active in the webinar and gives me additional information on anything they might have shared during the session. I also often write handwrittern notes to help me remember attendees and their conributions during the webinar. These details can help me build a personal connection with these people later when I sent LinkedIn connection requests.

Researching Potential Connections

After attending a webinar, here is my process for adding new LinkedIn connections:

Refer to the list of attendees at a webinar.
Search for each person on LinkedIn.
Skim their profile for things we might have in common or ways that we might be able to help one another. These might include our geographical location, people who we both know, their industry, their current role, if they are looking for work, and if they had any recent activity (posts, articles, or likes) on their account.
Decide whether or not to send them a connection request.

One Option: Personalizing a Connection Request

Personalizing connection requests is a great way to start building a relationship with a new professional contact. Here are the key components I include:

Personalized greeting
Statements on what we have in common
Invitation to become part of one another's professional network
Optional: suggested next step
- Offer of job searching help
- Suggestion on something in particular to do
- Sharing additional information
- Suggest a phone call, virtual/in-person meeting
Signature

Personalized Connection Request Examples

Here are a few examples of messages that you can use to invite people to connect. Currently, LinkedIn allows you to include up to 300 characters when personalizing connection requests.

Hi, Jen. I see we both attended today’s White Box Club meeting. I’m also in career transition and seeking a new role in learning and development. Let's connect!

I'm also always up for a 30-minute "virtual coffee" meeting to discuss how we can help one another as we job search.

--Brenda

Hi, Jack. Great to interact with you a bit at this morning's Excellence Share. I love sharing ideas with fellow L&D professionals. Let's connect!

--Brenda

Hi, Javier. I see we both attended today's "Sales Enablement Best Practices" webinar. I definitely enjoy learning from this group.

You mentioned reading a few books on sales enablement recently. Can you please share those titles with me?

Let's connect!

--Brenda

Other Options: Showing Your Value as a Connection

Now that LinkedIn limits the number of personalized connection requests those with the basic membership receive each month, sending everyone a personalized connection request might not be an option for you.

In those cases, here are a few other ways to show your value to a potential connection:

Send a non-personalized request right after the event ends. This way, people may associate you with the webinar you just attended.
Take a moment to react to and/or comment on recent LinkedIn posts made by your potential connection. This way, they may recognize your name and be more likely to accept your connection request.
Make sure your headline is descriptive and up to date. This way, when people receive a non-personalized connection request, they at least have a better sense of who you are from your headline.

After The Initial Connection

How do you further nurture that relationship? Here are a few ideas.

React to other people's posts.
Comment on other people's posts with your insights.
Share someone's post to your feed and @mention them to thank them for sharing the information.
Send a quick message to a connection sharing helpful information they will appreciate.
Congratulate people on their career milestones and successes.
Wish them a happy holiday/Friday/weekend on occasion.

Continue to Build The Relationship

After connecting with people initially, be sure to continue to nurture those connections. Posting useful content or occasionally messaging them are two ways you can do that. Ideally, you can add value to the relationship before you are in a position where you need to ask those individuals for help.

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